When am I going to have time to...?

Question

Do anything... [[read on]]

So, I'm 5 and a half months pregnant with a baby girl. She has major congenital heart disease and will be undergoing a series of three surgeries when she is born. Once at 3-4 weeks, the next at 4-6 months, and the last at 2 years of age. I am fully prepared to be spending A LOT of time at the hospital with her. It's my boyfriend's senior year of high school, so I am not sure how much he can be there with me and still graduate on time.

[[I am 18, I will be 19 when I deliver, he is 17, will be 18 when I deliver]]

Now, I'm wondering, when am I going to get to go back to school? I have my high school diploma, graduated in 07. Finding out that I have a very sick baby has actually made me want to become an ultrasound tech. This is a 16 months program at the school that I want to go to. But I know the first year of my babies life I will be right be her side. But when in the h**l am I going to have the money and time to go back to school?

And, my boyfriend and I have had plans to get married. When his family found out I was pregnant they kind of pressed the whole "get married now" thing. We didn't fall for the shotgun wedding, and now I wish we had. When in the h**l is he supposed to find the money to buy a ring and propose to me? And when in the h**l would we get married?

I know that having this baby is what I want to do. And I would have miscarried if she wasn't supposed to have this chance at life. The surgeries have good success rates. I am glad that I am going through with this pregnancy. I just want to know how I can manage all of this? I need a decent paying job eventually. And I need the money to pay for college eventually, let alone how much these three surgeries are going to cost. And I want to be married NOW, but that's not going to happen...And I know the stress of the baby is going to come first.

I just want someone to give me some ideas, or personal experience, or opinions, or anything, really.

Answer 1

The baby comes first. What ever you think is right for the baby you should do. If you would feel more comfortable with im there than ask him to be there. He does not ahve to be with you 24/7. so don't stress and do you best for the baby.

Answer 2

I can't answer your questions about your life, but I can tell you that you'd better make sure that you and your baby have good health insurance.  The medical bills are going to be unbelievably high.  And make sure that you keep health insurance with no gaps in care so that she won't be denied insurance based on gaps in insurance coverage.  

Answer 3

ok i know what it is like to feel like this.  it is even a little worse for you right now because you are pregnant and have this hormone thing going on...but things will work out.

think about this.

you dont have to get married right away.  sure you want to be married but it is not a necessity,a nd not being married will help you with going back to school, becuase being a single mother you get better grants to pay for the school. the baby is going to need various surgeries, and lots of dr's visits, yes, so you are really not going to have time to work or go back to school until the baby is all better. so you're probably not going back for 2.5-3 years, but at least you have a good reason.

he can get a job and work for a little while, so that he can help with the expenses incurred while you are not working, because you will want to be with your baby...

sometimes things may not go the way you want them to go, but in the end you get the same result, it might take a little longer than you want, but, when it is all said and done, you will be better for the lesson you have learned.