When can she get her child back?

Question

My cousin is planning on joing the Army and I am joining the Navy, we were supposed to join the same service but she decided she wants to do the Army. Anyway we both have kids when will we be able to regain custody of our children? When for the Army and When for the Navy? We are single parents. Will either one allow us to claim our kids as dependents or not?

Answer 1

I was in basic with a few people in this situation in the Army.  I believe they had to assign temporary custody to someone.  Also I believe they could not regain custody until after training and then a year after being at their first duty station.  The best person to ask this information to is your recruiter.  Make sure to get everything in writing and if you feel they are blowing smoke go to a different recruiter.  You do not have to stick with the first one you talk to.  Make sure you are comfortable with this person!!!

If you did join the Army together they have a buddy program where you would go to basic together, go to job training together, and report to the same first duty station.  I am not sure why you want Navy or why she wants Army, but I do know that the Army has this program in place.

Good luck!

Answer 2

the military knows you have kids. Nothing stops you from being the mothers, but the military is not a 9 to 5 job. You must always be prepared to attend to the childrens needs when you can't be there.

Answer 3

If their regulations are anywhere similar to the Air Force - only when your dependency status changes such as if you get married.

If you give up custody just so you can enlist, then gain custody after you get in, you would be in violation, at least in the AF you would be.

In the Air Force, our regulations state:  

4.23.3. Advise applicants that, if they regain custody during their term of enlistment, they will be in violation of the stated intent of their enlistment contract. They may be subject to involuntary separation

for fraudulent entry unless they can show cause, such as the death or incapacity of the other parent or custodian or a change in their marital status from single to married.

The other services might be different but dont count on it.  

Answer 4

The honest truth is you CANNOT regain custody of them until you are done with your entire first enlistment so depending on the jobs the two of you chose you are looking at 4-6 years.  If your recruiters tell you anything but they are both lying to you.  It is a Department of Defense regulation and if they have told you it is just for boot camp and your follow on school and once you get to your first command you can just move them and change there status to your dependents they are totally lying to you to get you both in the service.  By regulation if somebody processes the paperwork to get you housing allowance and to change the dependent status of your child back to you they could get into serious trouble and get an Article 15 for the Army and Captains Mast for the Navy.  I would never risk my career for someone else and that is what you are asking the admin person to do for you.  Single parents with custody of their children are not allowed to enlist and that is why you have to give of full legal and physical custody of your child to someone willing to raise and pay for raising them for at least four years until you can legally regain custody again.  You cannot claim these children as your dependents until you are done with your entire first enlistment and then you reenlist for some more time in the service or if you get married during that time, then you are not considered a single parent anymore and your husband should be able to take care of things when you deploy.  The Army and the Navy don't allow single parents to enlist because it does not work.  Unless you have a full time live in family member or friend with you to take care of your child 24/7 it doesn't work because working hours are never the same, you are out to sea a lot or deployed for 6+ months.  You also have duty every 3 to 10 days where you cannot leave the ship for a full 24 hours and then the entire next working day.  Are you just going to leave your kid in day care to be raised?  The military will not let you do that and that is why you cannot have custody of your children when you enlist in the Navy.  My bet is your recruiters are telling to just enlist and when you get to your first command to just regain custody and file the paperwork to get housing allowance and medical for your kids.  They are lying to you and if you go ahead and listen to their lying butts you could find yourself fully enlisted in the military without your children and then you are screwed.  If you were married no problem but you are not.  You need to think of your children first.  The military is a great way to support your family but not when your children don't have a mother to raise them.  I have had the hard job of telling moms just like you guys on more than a few occassions that they in fact cannot get their children back and their recruiters who did not know the regulations lied to them.  Nothing worse than seeing the face of a mother who finally realizes she won't be there to watch her children grow up.  Not a wise choice.  I am a mother of twins and I have been there for ever moment of their development.  The job is not worth what you will lose to give away your children for 4+ years.  You need another life choice besides this one where you can raise your children.  Good luck.

Answer 5

First it is against DOD Policy to give up CUSTODY of your children for the sole purpose of joining a military service.  What should have happend for the Army is you would have provided a Family Care Plan (ask your Recruiter for the details) for the time you are in training.  Your children would then join you at your first duty station and you go on living your life.  If your Recruited told you to give up custody so you could join, you need to contact JAG thru your chain of command if you already joined, and if you haven't joined yet, find a different Recruiter!