When did it stop being okay for men to have intimate (platonic) friendships with other men?

Question

I was reading an article about the worst vice presidents and saw something about William Rufus King, who lived with the only bachelor president, James Buchanan. There has been much speculation about their relationship, but at least one historian has noted that the length and intimacy of their surviving letters illustrate "the affection of a special friendship", but that such a relationship "was not necessarily unusual among men at the time."

Then, there's those photos from an exhibit called "Dear Friends": http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://museum.icp.org/museum/exhibitions/dear_friends/cover_.jpg&imgrefurl=http://museum.icp.org/museum/exhibitions/dear_friends/&h=378&w=328&sz=62&hl=en&start=5&um=1&usg=___nblG0KPCGivItohyUaQTS0WG3s=&tbnid=4aeYBOe0jIcTkM:&tbnh=122&tbnw=106&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2522dear%2Bfriends%2522%2Bmen%2Baffection%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26channel%3Ds%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DG

Is it all just a matter of "shifting social values?" And is it for the good or for the bad?

Answer 1

Those guys look pretty g*y, but so what? I think its a pretty cool thought that the US has had a g*y president.  

Answer 2

That picture that you have a link to is by no means just "platonic" the two men are clearly a couple, look at the body language and see how they lean into each other, "lovers" no question about it...

Answer 3

For the bad. Ive lived in various different cultures, some where it is normal for male friends to walk hand in hand and greet with a kiss on the cheek.

Wonderful in my opinion.

Answer 4

It's coming back into vogue, only now it's called a "bromance."

Answer 5

I don't know but I don't think it was s good shift.   I hope men could have an that type of friendship with another.  Anything that builds their ability to relate and bond as humans is good.   I know you will get some responses that indicate that intimacy means sexual.   Intimacy is much more.    

Answer 6

Probably around the time that flight attendants became less hot  .. When I was younger they were always nice shaped girls.

Now that I'm old enough to pick one up . They are usually Fugly , g*y, Or nasty spirited  

Answer 7

It reminds me of the rumors that Abraham Lincoln was bi-sexual, just because at one time in his life he slept in the same bed as another man.  That was very common because beds - especially feather mattresses were rare.  No one thought it was a g*y thing.

It's just my opinion, but I think that since the men's g*y rights movement in the 70's and the 80's, heterosexual men go WAY out of their way to avoid looking like g*y men.  I think this is why men wear ugly baggy clothes, that don't show off their bodies.  Men used to wear clothes that showed how good their appearance was, but now, it seems as if guys don't want to care about their appearance too much, because it might seem g*y.  

I think men benefit greatly from friendships with other men.

Answer 8

Right on. Every close friendship I've had with a man has been misconstrued as homosexual. A friendship between two guys is different than that between a man and woman. It's not just about beer and looking at women, it's things that can't be explained.

Answer 9

Well, in many cultures, intimate bonds between men are common.  The distance we keep in "westernized" culture is a bit of an anomaly when you look at most of Europe, the Middle East, South America...pretty much everywhere.  It definitely has something to do with social values:  we demonize men in the singular, so men in the plural are doubly threatening.  We do not encourage male bonding because we do not encourage bonding in general.