When did people in the United States start thinking that it is rude to participate in activities in a cemetery

Question

Holding picnics in cemeteries used to be commonplace, especially during Victorian times. My family did this in the 1970's. And in many, many countries around the world people light candles, make offerings, and hold feasts at relatives' graves on certain holidays. A few people still do this in the United States, too. I take graveyard photos and do gravestone rubbings.

So why do so many think that the only thing you should do in a graveyard is quietly look? When and why did this attitude originate?

I think it is neglecting a cemetery that is disrespectful.

Answer 1

to be honest if i was watching a loved one move on - and there is a party going on.. with cheering and love and together ness that is going to tear me up!  i'm going to start to despise the happy people because they are not taking MY LIFE MY LOSS into consideration. not so much about the cemetery,, However if there is no service then i say go for itt! never heard of it but sounds like it would be a good way to include the dead ones!

but as long as nothing else is going on!  cuz that would make me want to kill!

all that unnecessary noise while i'm trying to gain closure on a loved one who died!

Answer 2

Many cemeteries have rules about how the property can be used.  Many cultures celebrate in different ways and so choosing a cemetery for the dead can be just as important as choosing a church for the living.

Answer 3

I like to run at cemeteries. Sometimes I get bad looks. I find them to be peaceful places. I guess some people feel that death is serious thing, and so cemeteries should be serious places.

Answer 4

Good thought... by enjoying your time in the beautiful resting place of thoes we love we are celebrating life... both that of the ones that have passed and that of thoes who are still with us.  I can understand that if there was a cerimony that people would like to have their quite, but if not, how people choose to cherish, represent and honor their dead should be on an indevidual basis!

Answer 5

I have to wonder if vandalism hasn't played a part in the development of this attitude. A lot of the older, historic cemeteries in our area are padlocked most of the time because of the destructive nature of some of our residents.

I enjoy visiting cemeteries and so do most of my family members. I can't say that we've ever had a picnic in a cemetery, but I'm sure I've taken more than a few ice cream treats to the cemetery on a hot day. We were taught to respect the burial grounds of our ancestors, visit often, and clean up when necessary.