When did this become ok?

Question

When did pre-printed thank you cards become acceptable?

The past 2 weddings I have been to we received pre-printed thank you cards...not even a signed signature. I can't believe how much this upsets me that I take the time and spend the money to attend your wedding, and you can't even write a personalized thank you?

The last wedding me and my fiance were even in the bridal party....and a pre-printed thank you?! Hurts when you spent $1000 plus on them between everything.

Just curious if this bothers anyone else?

And why not...anyway have any other tacky stories?

Answer 1

That's incredibly rude and tacky, and there is NO excuse for that.

It's bullsh*t if people say they "don't have the time" to write out a simple thank you note. If they have time to plan a wedding, then they have time to write a thank you note.  

Answer 2

Yes I totally agree, what in the world happened here, that you can not take the time to send a handwritten thank you card after people took the time to come to your wedding and bring you a gift.  OHHH I have a tacky story but I won't even bother to share it in public, but it even beats the not sending a handwritten thank you note you can believe that.

Answer 3

Never.

And it should never be okay.

Most couples I know have tackled them slowly, maybe 5-10 per night until they are all done, I can't imagine buying a box of generic thank you's, signing a name, and sending them out.

Especially if you were in the wedding party, it's like a slap in the face.  I almost think it would be better to receive no 'official' thanks than to receive a pre-printed card.  Obviously you would KNOW they are thankful for your help, so a card shouldn't be needed to show it, but when they try to make a gesture so lazily, it's quite tacky.

Answer 4

Yes I think it's rude. But maybe they didn't realize that it was rude? A lot of places print invitations and thank you notes as a package so I think a lot of people just assume that it is the done thing. I think a personalized thank you note is much more appropriate.

As for other tacky things- I once was asked to a bridal shower where cash was requested to help the bride pay for the wedding. It wasn't actually the bride that sent the invitation (it was the bridesmaids) but I still thought that was very rude.

Answer 5

I don't think it is ok at all.  It seems many people have forgotten about thank you cards at all.  I have done 12 weddings in the past few months and only one couple bothered to even send a thank you card.  Granted it doesn't take a lot of time to officiate a wedding, but I do put time into writing the services and making other arraignments.  

Answer 6

It's not okay. Yes, I understand people are busy but nobody is that busy.

We are handwriting our thank you notes and it's taking a little bit longer than we thought to find the time (we're getting them out tomorrow after three months, which I feel so guilty about) but I think our guests will appreciate them more.

Answer 7

I think that's terrible. Thank you notes should always be personal, handwritten, and signed - and I'm a Millenial myself. It's the way I was raised and it's the right thing to do.

The tackiest is people on here who want to know how they can "politely" ask their guests to give them money. Or the bride who wants all of her guests to wear yellow to match her wedding colors.

Answer 8

I totally agree with you, and you know what else drives me up the wall? When you have all those cute Rsvp cards and envelopes printed and stamped sent with the invites... and people don't even bother sending them back! Nice waste of money for the to-be-married couple. As if they had nothing else to do but chase after people to figure out their head count...

Is it really that hard to check a yes or no and stuff the envelope in a mailbox?

sheesh!

Answer 9

It is a very rude but I guess its a thank you all the same. Not very personal though is it? I'm looking forward to handwriting my thank you cards. I enjoy doing stuff like that and I think its nicer to receive a personal note because it's more of a thank you from the heart.

Answer 10

I think handwritten is more appropriate - that way you can personalise the Thank You to the gift given, if they travelled a long way etc etc - But depending on the circumstances, a pre-printed card might be OK ?

Answer 11

i totally agree that it is terrible rude as for the last two posters who protested that everyone was much too busy to hand write one hundred thank you cards maybe if they didn"t get one hundred gifts it would be less a problem maybe their friends are too busy to go shopping for gifts clothes etc and to show up at showers and weddings  

Answer 12

Hmmm...not sure about that. I've never seen a pre-printed thank you card.  They could at least sign at the bottom.  But better still, be personal and write it out yourself.  Yeah...that's just lazy.

Answer 13

I see nothing wrong with pre-printed thank-you's. However the couple should of taken the time to write a personal note in your thank-you and at least sign the card. If she is a really good friend why not say something to her, maybe she doesn't even realize how tacky it was. Just my thought :)

Answer 14

if you think about it, writing out 100 cards or so takes alot of time. i would just be thankful you recieved a thankyou note.

Answer 15

It isn't okay, but there are lots of people out there that really don't realize they are being tacky. They think that money trees are great and plan the wedding all around themselves without considering their guests.

Answer 16

It has never become acceptable.  The problem is that there are more and more tacky and rude people in this world.

What's next, an email thabk you card?

Good manners NEVER go out of style.

Good luck

Answer 17

I agree with you completely.

Something else that irks me: reading that brides print the envelope addresses on the computer or on address labels. Usually they say they dont have time to do it (lazy), have bad handwriting (not an excuse in my book), or that if you use "a really nice font" its ok (a nice font, just like Times New Roman, is STILL printed so that doesnt work for me).

Also, I have read of bridal shower guests being given envelopes and asked to write their name and address on the front. Thats terrible!

Answer 18

tsk tsk.

I've never seen them but I wouldn't think too highly of the couple if I received one.

Answer 19

You are so right. I have even heard of people making you write what gift you brought and fill in your own name, as well as filling out your own envelope. I'm sure someone thought this was a great idea. They were wrong. It's just sad.

Answer 20

That is very wrong. I went to a baby shower and they had us each fill out an envelope with our name and address. I couldn't figure out why until I got the envelope with my name in my handwriting and a thank you card in it. That rubbed me the wrong way but hey. At least the thank you part was written!

Answer 21

It's not acceptable.  If you take the time and money to pick out a gift, it should be gratefully acknowledged.  

At least you got something...I'm still waiting on a thank you for the last wedding gift I gave, and that was in January.

Scratch that - I think I prefer nothing than a pre-printed card!  You might as well stamp a happy face on the wedding guests hand and tell them that's their thank you because they're saying that gift was your ticket into the party.  

Answer 22

I thinks it's very rude, To me, that shows very little class.

What harm would there have been to write out Thank You notes, by hand, If you were kind enough to come, then by all means they could have been kind enough to send out personalized cards...Geeze...

Answer 23

I'm 23 and just got married.  I do not think this is OK at all.  When someone gives you a gift and/or their time for your wedding, you need to appropriately thank them with a personalized card.  A pre-printed thank you only tells someone that you are too selfish to care about anyone else but yourself.

I have a friend who had a sister that got married recently.  Her sister didn't send out any sort of thank you at all.  She thought that since she placed pre-printed slips of paper at everyone's table at the reception thanking them for coming that she did not have to send out thank you notes.  Ridiculous!  Of course she and her now husband are only 19 and are not old enough or mature enough to be married.  They are currently living in a townhome and their rent is paid by his parents since they can't afford it.

Answer 24

I can fully understand why you might think this practice is tacky - I fully plan on writing each of my thank you's following my wedding, although I must admit I'm not looking forward to the aching hand. I think much of the reason for the pre-printed cards is because it makes it that much easier on the newly married couple, although it does seem innappropriate given that, in reality, in costs more than hand writing the cards (I'll admit I checked into it, and was completely flabbergasted at the price, but also realised how tacky it would be).  

Answer 25

It's rude.  There is no reason why they can't hand write out a few notes every evening and send them out.  Etiquette states that they have a year to send them out after the wedding, although I would personally be irritated if it took someone that long to send one!

Answer 26

Umfortunatly rude behavior has become the norm now a days.I think once schools stopped teaching things like manners and ettiquete, that people just dont know. Our society has for the most part become a me generation. Where in the past it was good manners to write thank you notes. You hardly even see thank you cards for funerals, for the flowers you send either. It doesnt make it write, but wrong and right are not as clearly defined as they once were.

Answer 27

Handwritten is more polite, but if they had a lot of guests, it may be hard and make the thank you untimely. I think you should be grateful they cared about you enough to invite you to their wedding, paid for you to come to the reception, and talk to them privately if you're that concerned, and just try to be happy to them. They are stressed, newlyweds have a hard time sometimes, so cut them a break.

Answer 28

I completely agree with you that it is inappropriate.

I have one for you....

So I've been to showers where the hostess hands out small envelopes and asks that everyone writes thier address on the front to help the busy bride to be in getting her thank you cards out in a timely manner, and then sometimes they even put them in a hat and draw one for a small prize.  I'm ok with this, even think it can be cute if done well.  However, I attended a shower this past weekend where we were asked to not only address it but to write in the blank space of the pre-written, generic thank you card what it was that we brought so that the bride would know.  Wasn't she there?  Didn't her MOH write everything down for her in a book?  It truely felt like a gift grab and I felt like I was thanking myself!

Answer 29

Honestly, if I were the one left to writing the thank you cards it would be beneficial to the recipient since they wouldn't be able to read my handwriting.  Handwriting is not something readily practiced by many any more since we are in the computer age.  Not saying that I think its right to do it this way, but I can sympathize.  It would take away from the personal level of the thank you.  

Answer 30

It's not Ok it's Laziness. Par for the course for this new freeloading selfish new generation. Didn't you get the memo about it being all about them?

Answer 31

I think pre-printed thank yous are much better than no thank you at all.

I have been to so many weddings in the last few years and have only received 2 thank yous (which were hand written and very personalised and very nice).

I would much prefer a non personalised typed one than not to receive one at all. But hand written is best.