When did you find out you were adopted and how did you feel?

Question

For those of you who were adopted as a baby (or were too young to remember being adopted), when did you find out you were adopted?

Did your adoptive/foster parents tell you from early on or did you find out later?

How did you feel when you found out you were adopted?

And for those of you who have met your birth parent(s), how did you feel after meeting her/him/them?

Answer 1

I was adopted as an infant, and we adopted our 2 children as infants as well- and I was told earlier then I could even remember- and we told our children early as well.  Why?  Because we wanted them to know that it was something good, not something to hide.  My son met his birth family last year, and it is a good thing

Answer 2

i was adopted a little over a month old; parents told me when I was 8 - 9 or so over dinner.  All i could think was "pass the mashed potatoes" . . .

it wasn't a big deal.  I was adopted, so what.  I have a family and didn't have any curiosities about my bfamily.  No biggee.

I have met my bparents and their families on both sides.  They're alright.  Bmom can be a little crazy sometimes but overall she has a pretty big heart.  Her family took to me pretty easily . . .a little too much at first but oh well.  We've had our ups and downs with periods of no contact.  Bdad is quiet and lets things move at an easier pace.  His kids can't stand me and think i'm there to take something from them.

not everyone has the yearning for the bfamily and just because someone doesn't have that yearning doesn't mean that they're in denial either.

overall, i'm adopted and fine with it.  No regrets or feelings of being less than whole or not knowing who i am.  Met the bparents and glad i'm adopted.

Answer 3

I was adopted at birth.  I found out I was adopted in Kindergarten so I was 5 or 6 couldn't tell you exactly which one.  I actually asked because adoption was brought up in school and asked my mother if I was.  She said yes and explained what that meant.  Never had a problem with..still don't and I am 30.  I have not met my birth parents so can't give any experience on that.

Answer 4

me and my lil sister was adopted when i was 4 and she was 1 then a day later i member listing to my foster parents my step dad and my step mom talking bout how some one had just called my step mama and told her that my real mom had killed her self and i had never told my sister waht i had heard that night it wasnt til bout two years later when they had told us cause my lil sister was all ways askin when was mama gone come back and see us!!!!!! and not even to this day have i told my sister that i found out there our mother had killed her self the day after she did it..

Answer 5

I always knew I was adopted. I cant remember a particular day that I was told. Its kinda like I knew I was a girl..  It was just a fact in my life and apart of who I was. It wasnt ever a big deal to me, although that really changed through out my life. When I was around 12-14 I think being adopted effect me the most.

I just have been in contact with my birthmom (she found me on facebook, can you believe that?)  We plan to meet this summer but so far all I can say its all I ever wanted and could expect.

It really is a strange thing at first. Here is a person who considered you apart of their family all of your life, a person you has impacted your life so greatly, a person you wanted to meet forever, and here they are.. now what? So it was strange, a good strange adjusting to that. I really cant wait to meet her and the rest of my biological family.

Answer 6

i was told at around 4-6 years old.i did not really understand,i just remember saying something like "ok!" and carried on playing.it wasn't until i was a few years older that it began to sink in.but i am glad i was told when i did,as it wasn't a shock,and i just accepted it.not saying it was easy for me,but i am glad i was told when i did.i am of different race to my family,so i guess my parents HAD to tell me i was adopted before a nosy neighbour did!.

I met both my birth parents,at age 29.i am 38 now.it was very sad,as i learned  i should never have been adopted in the first place!.my fmothers parents decided to raise me,but the social worker talked my teenage mother into signing the papers,and fed her several lies. however,we have moved on from that issue,and moved onto having a relationship and not letting the past drag us down.i had only her last name to go on,while searching,and it is a very common name,so i am just glad we have a relationship now,and try not to be bitter about the past any more.but i have to say,my afamily are great.it is just the circumstances around my adoption that suck.

Answer 7

Hehe, I LOVE answering this question!

I was adopted as a baby... my birth mother started the ball rolling with my parents well before I was born, so it was made official when I was only three weeks old.

I've actually always know I was adopted.  (My mom was adopted and so was her sister and her mom... we kind of have a thing going in our family!)  Every year my parents had two birthdays for me... my actual birthday and my 'special' birthday... And they always told me 'You're special... We CHOSE you... You get TWO birthdays.'  

This made it a lot easier to explain to me what adoption was as I got older.  Plus, there's nothing cooler than being the only five-year-old on a bus with two birthdays!

To this day I've always felt like I can talk to my parents (especially my mom) about feelings I have about being adopted and meeting my birth mother and all.  I still haven't met her but I've been kicking the idea around in my head.  

I think the reason I'm so afraid of meeting her (I already know her name and where she lives... less than 3 hours away) is because I'm afraid she'll be disappointed.  I'm just going back to school now (I'm 24).  Plus, my entire life revolves around music. (I play 5 instruments, have been in a plethora of bands, and LOVE doing my solo thing with an acoustic guitar at open mic nights around the city)  I know that a career in music isn't really considered a 'bright future' to most people... It's just really important to me that she doesn't feel that she made a mistake or think she could've done better by me.  I honestly think that it was fate that she chose my parents.  I don't think there would've been a better couple on the face of the planet to raise me.

lol, this got a lot longer than I intended it to.  Sorry about that!  It's an emotional subject for me when I think about it.

Answer 8

Well, mine was not the "conventional" adoption; I was adopted by my great-uncle (who was 67 years old at the time) when I was only days old. I was raised to believe that he was my father, and that his wife, my great-aunt who passed away when I was two years old, my mother. I believed this until I was about twelve years old, when my aunt (whom I'd originally thought was my sister) told me that my "daddy" was actually my great-uncle, and that she was actually my aunt.

I'd always known that my family situation was different from that of my peers, but being an idealistic child, I didn't really question this. The fact that I was adopted didn't bother me as much as did being told that my great-uncle paid my mother x-amount of dollars (she wouldn't tell me how much) to allow him to legally adopt me and for her to stay away from me, and that my mother eagerly accepted the money because she was a drug addict and because she didn't want to be bothered with a baby.

I know differently now, as I was reunited with my mother when I was 16 and actually lived with her up until her untimely death two years later. I know that my mother did what she did because she was basically going through h**l at the time I was conceived and she didn't want me to be "dragged down into the mud" with her. And I love her for that. I don't care what anyone else says, and to this day I don't even know if the part about the money being exchanged was even true. I never asked my mother (because she would have probably killed my aunt for her having told me that), and she never mentioned it. Truthfully, I don't want to know.

Answer 9

i was adopted right away but not aloud to live with my parents until 12 days after i was born. my parents were always really open about it and told me and my brother from as soon as we could understand - they bought books to explain, we celebrate our birthdays and "special" days (the day we are adopted).

i've always felt as if i was the same as anyone who wasn't adopted and i never felt that i wasn't "related" to my parents or thier family. everyone has always welcomed me regardless.

i haven't met my birth mom yet, i intend to but i'm busy right now so i will get to it some day

Answer 10

I was adopted at 4 days, the adoption was planned before I was born.  My younger brother was adopted the same way.

We both were told at a young age.  I'd say I can remember as far back as age four.

I felt fine about it, although I will say my mother, even to this day, will tell everyone she comes across we're adopted.  It can be embarassing sometimes, but of course, parents of all types tend to embarass their children.

Haven't met my birth parents, and not sure how to do it.  I've never made much of an attempt to find out, but I would be interested in knowing about them.

Answer 11

I was adopted when I was 9 mos. by a wonderful, amazing single mom, a college professor. She told me when I was around 9 or 10, but never made it this weird thing. She always tells me how supportive she will be if ever I feel the need to find my birth parents. Thus far in my life, I have not felt that need and don't ever think I will. Nothing against them, but I already have parents and don't need another set. And I love the idea of having to carve out my own, new history because the one I have is unknown. So, I feel good about being adopted and wouldn't want to change that for anything.

Answer 12

My parents had a couple of books in my "library" of books for as long as I can remember (when I was little of course). When I was in first grade or something, I had just watched 101 Dalmations and I was asking my mom about it hurting to have that many puppies and she said she didn't know because she had never had a baby before. And I was just kind of like, oh okay. It was never a big deal to me to be adopted, I never thought of meeting my birth parents. In high school, I started to wonder what I would look like when I got older, because I didn't/don't look anything like my parents (they have blue eyes and very pale skin - I have brown eyes and "tan" looking skin). They actually contacted my birth mother (they had been in contact with her over the years I guess) and she mailed them some pictures. My parents offered to take me to meet my birthmother, and when I was 17 we all got on a plane and flew to meet her. She is now a big part of our lives and has children of her own. It was very... enlightening?? to see "where I came from." My parents will always be my parents, the two people on the planet who I will always and forever hold dearest to my heart, but it is fantastic to have my birthmother (and her husband and children!) in our lives now as well.