When do I tell my 6 year old that mummys 'friend' Is his Dad ?

Question

For 6 and a half years I have always thought that someone else was my childs father. Luckily enough for the situation now he never wanted contact with my son. Over a month ago the man in question had a DNA test and It came back that he Isnt my childs father. I was extremely shocked but very happy at the same time because this man is a waste of space and never wanted to see my son. I told the other possible father that he is my childs son and he was happy from the start. We had a DNA test to confirm this and he is extremely happy.

He has been seeing my son for the past week and I introduced him as mummys friend and they have had contact with me there. He has already become a little attached to him and asks each day is he coming over. So now the initial bonding is done I am now worrying and how and when I tell my son that this person is actually his Dad.

Answer 1

now!

Answer 2

It will be hard but you need to wait!

Wait until they have a good relationship, wait until your son it a little older.  They seem really grown up at 6, but emotionally, it will be very difficult for your son to process this new information.

Answer 3

Just tell him... if the father wants to be involved that's great!!

Answer 4

i would just tell the kid to get it over with i think the sooner the better i wish u the best of luck.

Answer 5

Absolutley tell him!! If the Dad is as you say, very excited, I do not see why you are waiting.

Answer 6

Well, I would make sure real dad actually really wants to be his Daddy. The poor little guy has already gone through a major rejection from fake dad. Be sure real dad is legit before destroying your son with rejection again.

Answer 7

Did your son ever meet his other "daddy"?  If so, then this will be hard to explain.  I would go to a phycologist and ask them the best way to explain this toyour son.

If he hasn't met the other daddy, then you should tell him once you and the father have worked out visitation, child support, etc.  You wouldn't want to tell him, then have the novelty wear off for the father.  Make sure this is what you both want, then tell him together.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

hmm i don't know thats really  tough just explain

Answer 9

just sit him down and say something along the lines of "darling, you remember mummy's friend? well he's your daddy" look him straight in the eye and get down to his level, at the same time treat him more mature than usual with a smile so he doesn't automatically think he's being told off. hope this helps, good luck

Answer 10

you should tell him from now

he is 6 believe me he understands more than you think!

dont lie to him, he will only end up distrusting you in the future

plus if you dont tell him and the now father disappears from both your lives then it doesnt matter .. as long as he is aware of this guy then thats all that matters

plus when he is older he will keep forever wondering who his father is and will end up blaming you for him never metting him (although he did)

Answer 11

I agree. Tell him now. You can tell him that mommy didn't know where he was and now you found and you wanted him to know that this man is his daddy and how does he feel about that and if he is ok or happy to know his dad...I'm glad it worked out in your favor and I hope your son takes it well...seems like he will since you say he is interested in this mans company and asks for him :)

Answer 12

I would definately tell him sooner than later. The longer you keep it a secret the harder it's going to be for him to understand. At 6 years old he's definately old enough to understand and by telling him quickly he'll create a stronger father-son bond. This way you'll avoid the awkward"...this is my mom's friend....err...my dad..." stage.

Answer 13

just tell him before its too late

Answer 14

tell him asap so he can have a proper relationship with his dad the longer u leave it the more confusing it will be

Answer 15

Don't wait too long.  I can't really advise you on HOW to tell him, but I do think waiting until he has known this man for years will make your son think you and his dads were lying all along.

Good luck

Answer 16

for goodness sake lady, just tell him while he is still young!!!! don't delay until he is in his teens!!!!! be wise and do this as soon as possible and use your words carefully. when you say do not try to make it sound like it is a big deal and halt everything in his life. because that would naturally trigger emotions..but he is just 6. so go on ahead and tell him

Answer 17

when you are TOTALLY sure that the guy is going to continue to see and support (emotionally) your son-and not before.It would be devastating if he knew him as his dad and he lost interest.