When do i tell my daughter that "daddy" is not her real daddy?

Question

My daughter is 7.... when she was 3 I left her father...he was a dead beat..not working, i was supporting all 3 of us so i left him. Well I have a son now, which his father and I, we separated over a year ago, he was abusive... we were together for over 3 years and she calls him daddy.... my son goes to georgia ever month for visitation, and i know one day she will ask me why she doesn't go....what do i say, how do i say it....?? She is a smart girl, but my sons father is also hers..if you know what i mean. I don't know where her biological father is... any advice, has anyone had a similar situation...or anyone themselves was a child and their parents told you?

Answer 1

these situations are so hard to deal with

it depends on how mature your daughter is and how she'll handle the situation

personally i would wait until there old enough to understand the whole situation but she might get angry and feel betrayed

you should tell her when you think you are ready when she is ready

Answer 2

You should tell her when you feel she is ready.You should explain to her why you are not with her father and why he is not in her life.i dont think she is ready i would wait til she is atleast 10

well good luck

Answer 3

know you should have told her in the beggining

Answer 4

now or she will hate u

Answer 5

Tell her now, but tell her that she can still call him dad. You don't want to tell her any later.

Answer 6

Your daughter is old enough to be told.  You need to tell her the whole story but leave out the dead beat part and such just explain that you and her dad stopped loving each other and could no longer live together.  Be honest you have no idea where he went or where he is now and that is why she doesn't visit him.    Have you talked to her step dad.  will he not allow her to visit him?   Does he really not have any feelings?  You do need to talk to him about it if you can.  But I am sure she has plenty of friends at school that are in similar situations and even tho she will most likely go through some very challenging behavioral changes, she will know  the truth and there will be far fewer questions later to deal with a lot less anger ot you for not having told her sooner.