Question:

When do you know it's time to get a divorce?

by | earlier

It's obvious if you're in a relationship where there is abuse, addiction, etc... but what if you don't have any obvious problems like those, but just feel like there's no hope for saving the marriage? When do you know if it's time to leave?

Tags:

Report

Answer The Question I've Same Question Too

Follow Question

18 ANSWERS

Sort By: Date | Rating

Divorce shouldn't even be an option at this point. You both stay in separate rooms because he is trying to stay out of your way because you won't have s*x with him, so your hormones are way out of line, and you snap at him even though he's doing nothing to upset you. You said it yourself, "I just feel so aggravated with his presence". You have to realize that this is the man that you loved enough to have a baby with so you got pregnant only to find that you cant stand him now. Now there is a solution but you have to want it.

Now just step back and look at that. What do you see? You should see that everything was fine (just like I said earlier) until you got pregnant and then everything went crazy. Your best bet would be to go to him and tell him you're sorry for acting the way you have been acting and I'm sure he'll tell you the same thing. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that he's perfect, but at this point all he knows is that the more he tries to stay out of your way the better things will be. To be totally honest, it would probably kill him just knowing that you are even thinking about divorcing him. I believe that you still love him, but with your hormones going crazy (that's what happen when your pregnant) all you can see is that you can't get along. Please work it out. He still loves you too.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Well it depends on the situtation, if you have tried to work on things through counseling sessions and there is still problems that either one dont wanna deal with and the problems keep reoccuring, and the both of you arent happy anymore then maybe you should look at a seperation first and still try to work on things while you two are apart so it will be less tense.. Always try to work things out..and if they dont work then divorce is the final decision. Hope that helped...
Report (0) (0) | earlier
when your love is falling apart. if you guys are having constant arguments and you feel like hes not the one.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
My husband filed, for no good reason. He had an affair. Now, he doesn't see the kids much, he's spent thousands on this divorce, money that could have gone towards the kids college fund, and he will have to divide half of his income and business with me. I think he must now be wondering why he did this. Meanwhile, I'm moving on with my life. The kids are used to him not being around (his choice). Don't you think it would be better to go to marriage counseling? Good luck!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
If you ever say "I love him but... " your not ready. If you have even the slightest bit of love for him then why not just try to go to counseling or try to work out your problems? TILL DEATH DO US PART, doesn't seem to hold the same value as it did years ago.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
when you cant stand being in the same room with him/her..or you just dont like them.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Boredom or faults expectation are not reasons to get a divorce, because you can do a lot worse. Another thing to consider is the man's quality of life goes up after a divorce and the woman's goes down. So get a new hobby or job, exert your self instead of requiring your husband to make your life wonderful, it's not his job it's yours.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Go to counseling without him! You'll get some good ideas, and then you'll have the strength to make other decisions.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
when neither of you is trying to fix it,

and neither wants to put any effort into it,

and when infedellity shows up, its time,
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I've been married almost 37 years this month. After 16 years we were separated for 3 years but we saw each other every weekend and vacations. We would have got a divorce, but then I committed my life to Jesus Christ and my life and marriage changed forever. You have to have a focus other than yourselves. Never give up on your marriage. Get some marital counseling, talk to each other. Never give up, never give up, never give up Winston Churchill
Report (0) (0) | earlier
When you are thinking that it is time and neither you or your spouse are willing to seek counseling to work on changing whatever it is that is driving the two of you apart. It's not shameful to get a divorce. It can actually be a good thing at the point one of both of you realize that the two of you are just not compatible. It doesn't make either of you bad people. You just are not suited to one another but you didn't understand that at the time you got married.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
when theres no s*x and tooo much drama
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I feel that the only reason for a divorce is infidelity. If you have other problems you need to work them out.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Seems like a lot of people have reasons for you to run. There has to be more here. Trust me, I was in the same situation...exactly. I think what you should do is think about how long you have been together. Good times vs. bad times. Also, give yourself a break. Literally, take time away from him. Stay at a hotel for a week, limit contact. Take a vacation. Visit your mother. Anything. Make a change. Talk before you go and when you come back. Chat some while your gone. If you dont go far, stay gone for 2 weeks...go on a date with him. When you finally do come back home, make changes there too. In your relationship and in your home..move the couch around, switch bedrooms around. Anything. Make changes in your relationship too. Try to spend real quality time together, rent movies you both like. Cuddle up and watch them. Try new things together.

My husband and I did this and I was past ready to go. We gave it one last shot and have never been happier. If after all of this you still feel like you dont want to be married anymore, then think about the steps you need to take. But please, give it one more month and try my ideas...i dont think you will be dissapointed.

If you need more advice i'm here.. kristi.stone@ymail.com
Report (0) (0) | earlier
when u send all your kids to college .

when u fill the life u r living its not yours .

when u wish u could have a little bit more then u r having

when u get tired of being a wife and just want to be single again
Report (0) (0) | earlier
When you're too lazy to make the marriage work anymore.

Report (0) (0) | earlier
Someone told me this great advice for when to divorce. If the other person changed to being absolutely perfect tomorrow..how would you feel? If it still wouldn't matter, then you should leave the marriage.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Remember that at one stage you loved each other enough to marry and that relationships go up and down. You may have come through the initial love struck and are now into the comfortable bit which sounds as if you are bored with. All relationships get to the comfortable stage and if we continued to look for the 'first flush of love' we would be in and out of relationships all of the time. Time to sit and talk with your partner before making a really big decision like divorce.
Report (0) (0) | earlier