When do you know its time to give the Birds & the Bees talk?

Question

My daughter is 11 years old. One of her friends moms told me that her daughter said that my daughter had s*x. But then said she was joking. I found a pair of thongs too! She has a boyfriend but wont admit it to me. She wont open to me. But I dont want to talk about things that arent on her mind yet. I dont want to give her more ideas.

Answer 1

i never got the talk and thats what health class is for that reason of parents not having to give them the talk

Answer 2

i personally think all kids should have the talk before they go to middle school

one of my friends got her period in forth grade

not to mention you dont want them getting false informatino from their friends

wouldnt you rather be the one to tell her about all tthat stuff??

its time to have the talk

Answer 3

I'm fourteen and never had the s*x talk with my mom, by mid sixth grade I knew more than I ever would have imagined just by going to school. Just tell her to stay safe, find out if she is doing anything, and about her boyfriend. She's only eleven but there's not much to do if she is already..."active" she'll only rebel.

Talk to her about staying safe, show her pictures of what might happen. I'm sure she wouldn't want that to happen to her. But yea, not many kids-especially her age want to talk about the birds and the bees.

Answer 4

I never got the talk, that's what health class is for.

Answer 5

About 3 years ago.  11 year olds are entering puberty, and starting to have intense sexual feelings.  It doesn't depend on you telling her about s*x.

Answer 6

Long overdue, mom. Some girls are getting their periods at 9, so they need all the info, really early.

You need to have some serious talks with her.

Answer 7

I personally think the talk is overdue as well.

I have 2 daughters who are 7 and 8 years old and they already know about periods, s*x, and babies.

I am always very open to them when they ask me questions and I give them an age appropriate answer. Like they know s*x should only be for older people who love each other, etc.

I'll probably be having an in depth talk with my oldest about s*x when she is around 9 or 10.

If your daughter already has a boyfriend and thongs, then you DEFINITELY need to have that talk today!

Don't worry about giving her ideas. Television, friends, etc. already gave her plenty of ideas which I am sure she is confused about.

Good luck!

Answer 8

This talk should have been had LONG ago. She should already be well comfortable with the "Heath Class" information of anatomy and physiology.  Anytime after about age 8 you could have been talking to her about making good decision and consequences of actions and the emotions with s*x.

If she's not opening up to you now its probably because she does not feel that the lines of communication ARE open.

Talking to children about s*x, drugs, alcohol, crime or any other "vice" is not giving them ideas, it is preparing them for making good decisions.

Answer 9

It is time. Good luck!

Answer 10

When my daughter was six and I gave her an age appropriate b and b talk. As she gets older I will give her more details and if she is ready I plan on telling her everything at nine.

Answer 11

She has the ideas already, believe me. At 11 she is overdue for the talk, especally if she has a boyfriend.

Answer 12

I would give her the talk before somebody else does and tells her a bunch of lies about how s*x won't hurt anybody and won't get you pregnant.

If you don't she might end up pregnant soon..Please talk to her.

Answer 13

It is time for the "talk" when the child starts being able to understand what words are.....

Yes, its not a one time deal, its a process that should have begun at age 1.

Your 11 year old probably knows more about s*x than you do at this point in your life.  Of course she may not know some of the things that you do, for instance that you CAN get pregnant the first time, or that condoms don't always work.  

You have an uphill battle ahead of you, as you kid will be secretly laughing at you throughout your talk, and may not take any of it seriously, but you do need to start talking.

Answer 14

Give her a book on human sexuality... I'll see if I can find some good examples and edit when/if I do. Personally I would suggest being as clinical as possible, because I think its very inappropriate to teach children about sexuality from a subjective personal perspective.

Answer 15

lets weigh this out, you have the talk and educate your daughter on life and pregnancy, you take her to a place where teens hve kids and let her find out how hard it is, or show her pictures of STD's and let her know how common they are,

OR

dont have the talk and hope to god she doesnt end up being one of the kids, or pictures you could have shown her

its realy your choice to be a parent or not

Answer 16

when i was about five i already knew about a womans menstrual cycle because my mom had told me in depth about it.i was a mature little one, i didn't make a big deal about it, but i was informed and it helped in the long run.as far as that talk goes, she gave it to me pretty early as well. i actually knew before hand because kids know everything and usually once one of them knows something...they spread the word.regardless, im glad she did that because again it helped.better safe than sorry right?

Answer 17

When they ask.

Answer 18

you should start that talk around 7 or 8...because kids these days are learning about that kinda stuff real early...at school etc.

Answer 19

At 11 she probably already knows a lot about s*x. If you want her to have correct information you should talk now.