When do you know when you've had enough children?

Question

I just had my second child a month ago. Me and my husband already have a 1 1/2 year old. I am pretty certain that I don't want anymore children, but my husband says it's too soon to make that kind of decision because I just had a baby. Would I regret it if I got "fixed"? I am just so tired all the time and they cost so much money and all I/we do is discipline the older child. I feel like just packing my bags and going to live with my parents sometimes!

Answer 1

My advice would go get the birth control ring, You can get it removed when and if you decide to have children again. That way you won't get pregnant and you'll still have the option to have more kids in the future... Ask a doctor about it. Don't rush into a surgery that you'll regret hun <3

Answer 2

when you're ready to kill someone.

Answer 3

You may feel like you don't want anymore right now, but later on you may change your mind so I wouldn't run out and get a tubal ligation done just yet. You are right though, kids are expensive and they can wear you down quickly (they seem to have energy 24/7!). My suggestion would be to wait until your youngest child turns about 2 or 3 years old and then rethink the idea of having more kids. If at that point you still feel the same then it's probably pretty safe to go ahead and get fixed. Congrats on the new baby. Hang in there, things will fall into place before you know it!

Answer 4

give it some time

Answer 5

It is definitely too soon to know you are done.  Once your children are a bit older you will miss them in their baby stages.  Just make sure you use some strong birth control.  I think everyone feels like running back to their parents at some point.  Sounds like you need to schedule a little more "me" time for yourself.  Please recruit family and friends to give you some help.

Answer 6

My first is 7 years old and my youngest is 5 months. While I was pregnant with my second my Husband and I did discussed about having a 3rd and that we would most likely be able to handle a third child, physically, emotionally and financially. But once our second child arrived and we once realized how hard it is to care for another young one we decided that having 2 children is just right. No more for us. I am not "fixed" yet but I am planning to do so very soon. I'm sure financially it's no problem for us, since we got through just fine with our first and now second. Emotionally and Physically would just be too much for me and my Husband. We want to be able to provide equal love to both our children so they don't feel one gets more attention than the other. A third child would make it harder, and if I were ready to have another it won't be for another 5-8 years and I don't plan on waiting that long since I would be well over 30 years old. My plan was to have 2 children under 30 and I'm done. I got 2 more years left and I don't feel like having another so soon. 2 young children so close to age would make me go crazy.

Answer 7

Two is the perfect number of children...any more and all your doing is giving your self stress.

Answer 8

I would not get it done just yet.  I would give it a couple of years to make absolute certain, because if you have a tubal it is considered permanent even though they can sometimes reverse it.  If you just had a child a month ago your hormones haven't settled down yet and having another small child also adds to the stress.  Good luck to you and congrats!

Answer 9

I think you just instinctively know.  If your feeling frustrated with the two you already have imagine adding one more to the mix.  You are right, children cost tons of money!  They need so many things beside monetary items as well.  Guidance, unconditional love, discipline, your time not to mention everything that their day to day care entails.   If you don't think you have it in you to give these things and sacrafice for another child, then don't have another one.  It's ok to have just two if you want.  Good luck.

Answer 10

Well if you feel like you don't want to take care of your kids then you don't need ne period

Answer 11

You may end up regretting it. I never did, just in case something were to happen to my children I'd be able to have more. It may sound a bit morbid but I know families who've lost their kids in accidents (car fire). Also I knew that marriage was forever, but sometimes life doesn't go the way you think it should.

Give it some time. Birth control is fine, there is so much to choose from. Anything from the pill to a shot to an implant. Why not try those out for a few years and rethink your plan? I know a lot of men who've had reverse vasectomies (3 off of the top of my head).  

Answer 12

this is a decision you and your husband should make together  

Answer 13

well

this is how my aunt would answer this question  from expercince too

ull no when u had enough children when u go broke drive ur husband insane u lose ur temp etc.

me:u and ur husband can make that discion perfectly on ur own

Answer 14

When you've had two.  The world is overcrowded enough as it is - I'm horrified by the number of women on here who are on their fourth, fifth, sixth etc etc.  Just ridiculous - haven't they got anything else they'd rather be doing apart from talking about teething and having to babysit 24/7?

Answer 15

Right now I would say your hormones are in charge!  Some days are better than others... I have 3 and there are days where I want my husband to move into the guest room just to be safe!!  But... there are days when it's really great.  You have just had 2 kids VERY close together, your oldest is still dependent on you and your newborn is just that, new born.  There is no rule saying you have to have your third child NOW... wait a few years, catch your breath.  By the time your baby is 2, your oldest will be almost 4 and you may feel that you are ready.  If not, THEN do something permanent.  

I had a 20 month old when my twins were born and I swore I was done, but now they are almost 2, more independent... I am starting to think, well, maybe.  

Good Luck!  Enjoy what you have now, tell your husband to do the same!

Answer 16

When I was pregnant with my second child I talked to my doctor about a possible tubal ligation.  That was how sure I was that two was enough.  He talked me out of it for a couple of reasons, my age was one (if you are under 30 the chances you will change your mind is about 50%), another was that you don't know for sure the baby will end up being OK, even right after delivery.  Of course, your child is a month old, so you know they are fine, but it was a good point.  My husband and I are currently looking for a doctor for a vasectomy for him, since it's less invasive.  We dearly love and adore the two we have, but neither of us really feels a yearning for another one.  I have a niece who is almost three months old.  When she was born and my husband and I saw her at the hospital he was holding her and I asked him if he missed it.  He looked at her, at me, and then said "Not enough".  That's when I knew he was on the same page about our family being complete.

There is a part of me that mourns the idea that I will never carry another child, and a part that misses my "baby", but it wouldn't matter how many kids I had, they would all grow up and I wouldn't have a baby anymore.

Answer 17

You may very well be done, but definitely give it time.  Unless you were sure you only wanted tw children prior to this baby's birth, I would wait it out.  

Having two little ones is tough, but in a couple years you may really miss this time and desire to have another.

Answer 18

when your vag feels like it's been ran over by a truck.

I'm being serious!

Answer 19

I would wait a little bit and then see how you feel.  You are in the thick of it right now.  When your children get a little older and things start getting a little easier, you may change your mind.  I'd give it a year or two before making a final decision on that.

I had three kids back to back, all roughly a year apart.  After I had my third, I definitely could have been convinced to get "fixed".  I waited... they're now 7, 5 and 4, things are so great with them and SO much easier, I do consider having a fourth.  Its nice to have options still at least.  So if it were me, I'd hold off doing anything permanent just yet.

GOod luck!!

Answer 20

I agree with the others in the fact that your hormones are still trying to balance out.  Plus the fact that you have two young ones so close in age.  I'm sure they wear you out and you have nights being awake the entire time.  Immediately after my daughter was born I was ready to be done... then I went through a phase a couple months ago where I thought maybe I for sure want a 3rd.  At this time I am completely happy with our two chidren, however the option is always there to try again for a 3rd later on if we want.  I would suggest a long term birth control, one that you can't stop in one day if you get baby fever.  I have the Mirena IUD and it's good for 5 yrs... however if we want it out sooner we can do that also.  It's safe for breastfeeding mothers as well.  Good luck on your decision, keep your options open!! I plan on keeping my Mirena in the full 5 yrs and then getting another put in after that.  We probably won't do anything permanent until age 40's or so.