When do you start talking to your children about s*x?

Question

I have a more liberal viewpoint on the issue. I feel that starting in Junior high is too late. Kids become aware of most 'sexual' things prior to adolescence. Although they may not need to know the gritty details early on, they need to know that something called 's*x' exists. They should be taught about their body and the consequences of not only sexual behavior, but of their entire sexuality from dress, to how they present themselves in public. I plan to begin educating my kids around age 8/9. This age was when I began to realize that I LIKED boys, and that there was something society saw as wrong when it came to talking about the stuff downstairs. Unfortunately, my mother never talked to me about s*x. s*x education began in 7th grade, but it was by no means the type of education one gets from a parent. Plus, the mixture of boys and girls only prompted us to look 'cool', and not to ask serious questions we had about our bodies. What do you feel is an adequate age to begin s*x education? Should this education be solely from the home or should schools take a step to teach children early on as well?

Answer 1

My dad told me when I was 8 and he was drunk.

Answer 2

Very logically stated!  8/9 is not too early to 'begin' the talk, but don't go into a lot of details.   Answer each and every question, but be careful of trick questions.   Eg: Where did I come from?......might just mean "which hospital was I born at?".  If you open up the door to questions, they will always feel safe in asking you.   Answer just the question...don't elaborate....then just wait for the next question.   You sound right on track...good luck.

Answer 3

I started talking to my oldest son about s*x and puberty when he was about 8--which was good cause he started the physical signs of puberty when he was 9.  (poor kid, I had to clarify that those black and curlys BELONG there lol)

He's now 14 and he is very open with me and isn't shy about asking me questions.  Actually prefers to ask me rather than his father.  Sometimes the questions are more uncomfortable for me then they are for him, but I try and give the best honest answer that I can.  If I don't know the answer--we look it up

Answer 4

My son is five, and he already knows where babies come from.  He doesn't know the gory details about the actual act of s*x, but he knows that mommies and daddies make a baby and that the mommy grows it in her belly for nine months.  He knows that boys and men have penises and that girls and women have vaginas.

He is a naturally curious child, so I am sure at some point in the future he will want to know more, so when he asks me, I will tell him.  If he doesn't, I will use his age and maturity as a guideline to determine when he should be sat down so we can further discuss s*x with him.

s*x education should begin when your children are young.  It shouldn't just be "the talk"--it should be an ongoing, age-appropriate dialogue that continues throughout childhood and adolescence.  

Answer 5

We started talking to our kids pretty young, because they started asking pretty young.  We worked hard to insure that our answers were appropriate to their age, but we provided as much information as was required.  

As for the more comprehensive talk, we started that dialog when they were about ten.  Now, our kids are 17, 16, 15, 10 and 8.  We have a jar of condoms in our bedroom, and we do not monitor who accesses it.  I think your ealry, pro-active approach is by far the best.  Bravo!

Answer 6

well im 14.my parents dont talk to us kids about that.we only learned a little in sixth grade.i one day looked up purity ring and then i just bought one.since the whole purity ring i have talked a little to my mom about that.i only know how babies are made and that you can use contraceptives,but in my house we dont believe in that.i did not know what abortion was until i was maybe 12 or 13 but we dont believe in that either.i think parents need to talk to their kids about s*x at about 9 because thats when i started to get b*****s and i got my period at 12.thank God i knew what a period was from school!if you talk to your kids early then i think that the teenage pregnancy thing will go dowm and so will abortions.teengers should not even be having s*x it doesnt matter if you use condoms or not because you can still get pregnant!duh!and i watch the secret life of the american teenager and that helps.in the tenth grade we will have health again and we will learn more about s*x but kids get too much outside sources about s*x if their parents dont tell them anything.and also it seems that both the schools and parents are doing a bad job of teaching kids about s*x and then you get more abortions,teenage pregnancies and STDS.so parents should telk to their kids about s*x at like 9.

Answer 7

The age at which we tell our children about s*x has gotten younger.  There is more s*x in movies now that younger kids are able to watch.  Which you combine raging hormones, and sexual conotation / pictures makes a prescription for a really bad ordeal.  Unless we talk to our teens, it is our responsibility - not the schools.  My parents did not talk to me about it, and I didn't learn what I needed to in school.  I think the age limit of 8/9 is good.  There is a small percentage of kids around 10 or 11 already having s*x.  It's just bad these days, I do blame it on lack of education in the home >> and an increase of s*x on t.v. and in movies.

I thought I was going to have a hard time with this, afterall my parents never talked to me about it. Its almost like it is an awkward thing, but I think if it is openely talked about within the family, then all these teen pregnancies would subside a bit.

So anyhow, I will suggest something you should listen to... it helped me more than I could have imagined. I now have the confidence to talk to my son when he gets to that age.

go to www.raintreechristian.org

click on listen

click on 2007

click on october

ALL OF THEM ARE GOOD, BUT the one you are looking for is

- The Naked Truth about Pure s*x

A Politically Incorrect Look at s*x, Lies and Virginity

on October 21st.

This link might take you straight there http://www.raintreechristian.org/02_list...

Answer 8

I say by 9 because they are beginning puberty. This way once it happens they will know what is going on.

Answer 9

Kids are curious by nature and they will begin asking their parents s*x related questions according to their intellectual level, as long as there is good communication in the family.

As a parent it is important to recognize these inquiries and address them when they come up.

Answer 10

Always try to tell them whats good and whats not and when they are around that age and have seen the movie in school would be best. But always tell them.

Answer 11

I agree with you completely.  8 to 9 years old is a good time to start talking to them because by then, they usually know that s*x exists.  Personally, I think that schools ought to teach kids about s*x earlier than they generally do (which is around middle school).   Elementary schools often make the mistake of giving kids the impression that s*x is a bad thing that should not be discussed.  Personally, I would like to wait until I am married to have s*x, but I know that a lot of other unmarried people don't feel the same way.   Therefore, what the schools should really do is teach kids that s*x is a part of life that carries consequences if precautions are not taken.  

Answer 12

my mom started 2 talk 2 me around 10 and ur right, kids r more aware of sexuel things at an early age and it better they get info from u rather than another source. and i think u r right 2 start teaching ur kids @ a young age.  

Answer 13

My parents never spoke to me about s*x, sexuality....they were the ultra conservative type and thought such conversations were innappropriate, although I had s*x education starting in 5th grade I still didn't "get it"   my school taught abstinance and not safe s*x

Which was too bad.

I blame my parents for my loss of virginity at 13, and my hypersexuality in my teens because no one ever spoke to me about such things so I never spoke to them about it either.

Luckily by the time I went to college I kind of got a clue and now I know practicality of monogomous relationships as well as testing for STDs regardless of how "safe" you think your sexual relationships are.  

I believe school education should step up and encourage parents to have conversations starting around 8-10 years old.  And none of this good touch bad touch c**p that they sell to children thinking they are too young to handle it.

Answer 14

well I am 13 now and I began taking s*x education in grade 4. Personally I am really glad that the schools teach it because I get really awkward whenever its brought up at home. I am just not comfortable talking with my parents about taht. Also it depends what kind of relationship you have with your kids.