When do you tell kids the truth about Santa, etc?

Question

I have a 9 year old, she'll be 10 in September. When is the right time to tell her that there's no Santa, easter bunny and tooth fairy? How should I go about it without making her upset? My mom swears that she doesn't believe and that she's hiding the fact that she knows the truth, and I guess that's possible, but if so, she's a great actress!! Anyone with some experience? Should I bring it up to her or wait until she asked me? Thanks!

Answer 1

We just let them figure it out for themselves. It doesn't change the outcome - they get all the same stuff for christmas and easter anyway.

Answer 2

I never told my kids I always just let them figure it out for them selfs.

Answer 3

you want to raise your kids to be honest and trustworthy but from day one we lie to them about santa the easter bunny and the tooth fairy... but the joys we have watching them believe is awesome...my daughter came home from school just last december and said to me mom is there really a santa and i tried to get out of answering but she insisted and demanded the truth . so i told her that no there is no santa. she was upset at first because i had lied to her all these years. but i found a website on saint nicholas and shared it with her and she was fine..plus she realized that all the gifts came from me. she said i was the best mom ever

Answer 4

She will probably tell you when she has figured out the truth for herself. i would carry on as normal and wait for the day she says "mum, i'm nearly 10, i know thats just a kids story!" i remember telling my sister when she was about 10 that santa wasnt coming this year, and she said "thats cos he isnt real!"

Answer 5

There's no santa!?! :o :( :(

Answer 6

I told my daughter when she was 9.  She had just lost a tooth and was getting ready to go to school.  She asked me if there was a tooth fairy.  I told her the truth then because I didn't want her going to school and being teased by others.  Then she asked me about the Easter Bunny.  I told her the truth.  Then she asked about Santa.  I told her that there was a Santa because I couldn't see telling her (right before school) "honey, there's no easter bunny, tooth fairy, or santa.  

LOL.  I let her have one more Christmas with Santa and then I told her.

EDIT:   I think there is a troll hanging out on this question.

Answer 7

you don't...  let them keep the magic...  like seing the disney characters in person...  encourage them to practice imagination as long as they can.  they will eventually tell you they don't... and don't be surprised.

Like Peter Pan....  you have to really believe it to be true.  And when you stop believing, you are all grown up.

Answer 8

I think you should wait for her to ask, so it's not an awkward "Hey so guess what isn't real!"

But 10 is a good age.

Answer 9

I think you don't have to. I think we all figure it out sooner or later. It'll fade away I think. My mom never sat me down and told me he was fake.

She'll figure it out on her own without you having to tell her.  . .

But I could be wrong who knows???

Answer 10

i found out when i was like 9 or 10, i heard a noise, woke up, went out to the living room, and sen my parents. i didnt say anything. i just stood there and watched. well, they were finally finished putting everything under the tree. they didnt see me. they stood up, and turned around. i spoke at the same time my mother saw me. all i said was liar ....lol she screamed so loud, i thought i went deaf. i got yelled at, and told to go back to bed, and dont say anything to the younger kids. i told her she has something to tell me first. so she told me sorry for lying to me for all those years. lmao. well, my son is 10. i was trying to figure out the right wayt to tell him. as he has been saying things. so this past easter, all the bags the candy ame in, i sort of accidently on purpose left them in a place where he would find them. he came out of the bathroom a couple of days later asking what "this" is. it was the bag with all hte candy bags. i asked him what he thought it was. he started laughing, and said he knew it all along, he was just waiting for me to tell him the truth. so i told him he was right, there is no tooth fairy, santa clause, or easter bunny. he didnt want me to know that he knew. lol try something like i did, that way you are not starting the conversation, let her find wrappers, gift tags, or what ever. she might handle it better.

Answer 11

My boys are 3 and 5 and have their own little beliefs on the subject and they seem to figure the stuff out on their own.  Of course they are afraid of Santa and the Easter Bunny lol. You have to watch for the signs of when she is ready, by 9 I would say most kids already know from being told at school or other places but they just like the fun of it so they keep going with it.  I know as a kid I knew around age 5 but didn't let on until I was about 10 because I just enjoyed acting like it was exciting lol.  I had older siblings that let the truth leak out.  My boys know the stories of the real santa and why we celebrate christmas so it won't be as hard on them once they realize that Santa doesn't come to deliver presents like the stories say now.

Answer 12

Don't tell her! Wait till she grows out of it herself, they usualy find out themselves between the age of 9-11.

Answer 13

Maybe if she ask you or let them figure it out herself

Answer 14

Leave her alone, she will figure it out on her own.  Your mother could be right though.  Some kids hide it because they realize it would probably disapoint their parents if they knew the truth...my oldest was almst 5 years old when she told us Santa wasn't real..and yeah that WAS a disapointment at that time.  Kids aren't stupid they don't need to be told these things.

Answer 15

SANTAS NOT REAL!

MY MOM NEVER TOLD ME THAT.

THATS IT!

IM RUNNING AWAY/

ILL FORM A NEW LIFE IN OREGON MAYBE EAT LEFTOVERS AT MCDONALDS!

OR ILL JUST KILL HER??

WHICH ONE?

Answer 16

You should have never lied to your kids! When I was a little girl my parents told me there was a santa and they kept it going until I was 11. I found out by all the other kids there was no santa and it made me feel really upset! I wondered why my parents would lie to me and I wa really dissapointed. So since then I never have told my kids that there is a santa. I explained to my 3 yr old daughter that there was a St. Nick and she thought it was awesome. She told all her friends about him it was very cute. Please stop lying to your daughter and tell her.

Answer 17

Emma was 7, one of the kids in her class told her to look for her presents.  She was completely devastated, and then asked if God was real.  So we told her that yes Santa was real at one time, but it would be impossible for him to deliver all the presents to everyone in the world, so he is more a fairy tale than real.  We told her it was ok to belive because it is magic, but that mom and dad really bring the presents.  It actually kind of helped as now she understands why she can't have so many expensive presents at one time.  Good luck.  I know I was heart broken becuase I thought I had another year.

I would let her bring it up to you though, why spoil it if she does still belive.

Answer 18

not now i say 15 or 14 or 13 and dont come a little to strong

Answer 19

I will never tell.  

Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc - are all fun secret surprise parties that I give to my kids.  I can't imagine why I would ever stop playing this fun game with them.  

My parents never told us, either.  Once we figured it out, we appreciated all of the efforts to keep things secret & magical even more - we saw how much joy it gave them to bring us these anonymous, wonderful, no strings attached gifts & tokens of love.  So, we kept the secret ourselves, too.  Just making sure to show very real appreciation for all of it.  And, eventually, as we all got older, Santa started coming to visit mom & dad every year, too ;-)

I hope to teach my children about the joy of giving anonymously & from their hearts, too.  And, one way that I will do this is by role modeling it myself, for them.

Answer 20

Don't tell her.  Kids ALWAYS find out on their own.  When she just asks tell her the truth.  It's all in good fun, don't spoil it...

Answer 21

you dont have to reveal it to them... they always find the truth when they grow up

Answer 22

when they are bout 10-11

Answer 23

i wouldnt tell her.. my mum never told i just grow out of it why make her upset. kids just know when they get older

Answer 24

wait til she asks you.  If it goes on much longer though ud have to mention it.  You don't want to make her feel stupid.  Maybe a couple more years, then she'll surely come ask you.

Answer 25

As kids grow up they realize that realness of all of them is 0. It will take a course, but she probably does know, but still wants presents haha.

Answer 26

i wouldent tell her unless she asking about them

Answer 27

I would think it would be best until she asks you...when I was younger, I heard about it as a "rumour" in school and went home and asked my mom, she confirmed it and I was okay with it.  I thought it was better than my mom actually coming right out and telling me, it was better for me to hear it from friends and have mom confirm it later.

Answer 28

well- if she still believes, let her. thats a part of being innocent and you should want to keep her that way for as long as you can. she will find out soon enough at school or through a pal. and she prob wont take it so bad when she finds out.

just let her be and let her enjoy this stuff. once they know the truth, a little of the magic of seeing them xmas morning and waiting on that tooth fairy is gone forever.

good luck!

Answer 29

i dunno but when i was like 12 i strait up told my mom i didnt believe she was pretty mad...LOL

Answer 30

I knew that those things were giant hoaxes from the time I was 7 or 8.  I did not however tell my mom that I knew until she 'broke the news' to me.  Chances are your daughter is smart enough to have already figured it out, and you're just buying into her 'innocence'.  Put yourself in the position of the kid for a sec.  If you were getting presents on holidays from some imaginary person and you knew that it was really your parents providing them and thought they would stop if you knew, would you tell them you knew, or would you play the game for as long as possible?  I think it's all a matter of if you want to buy her presents as an imaginary character or as her parent.  And as far as breaking it to her is concerned, my mom used the rather evasive technique of "Santa doesn't bring presents to big kids..."

Answer 31

We have had this discussion at home and told him (6) that  Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny only come if you believe in them. Once you stop believing, then they stop coming.

Plus we came up with the idea that Santa really could visit everyone. Not all kids celebrate Christmas and then there is the time zone difference. Some people in the world are a day ahead of us, so he actually has 2 nights to delivery them all.