When getting married is it common for close friends and family to turn against the bride and groom?

Question

My fiance and I have had too many friends and family getting mad,even cussing us out for not doing what may be better for them than for us for our own wedding. Its hard to please everyone at once and still do what we want. I thought the close people in our lives would just be happy for us, with the way we want our own wedding....Please tell me if this is normal!!!

Answer 1

no it's not normal! unless your a pushover (for lack of words it's the only one i could find)

it's your day!

just tell them!

I"m sorry you may not agree with what i'm doing you my not even like it!  but this is my day for me!  I love you all dearly but i can't continue to feel guitly because of me not accpeting your sugguestions!  if i need a suggustion i'll ask you but untill then i'll keep you posted on the plans if you wish!  please hold all your suggestions untill asked!

sorry and thank you!

it's not too normal -- sorry most everyone will add there 2 cents but to get mad and cuzzing you out!  isn't fair and if you normally do as they say that's why they are flipping out! you put your foot down!  now keep it there!

Best wishes!  

Answer 2

The only really negative reaction I got was from my mom who whined about much hard work a wedding was and kept telling me I should just get eloped.  I just did all the work without her help.  That made things much less stressful even though she still complained about the fact that I was putting a burden on myself.

I'm sorry you are going through this.  Unless they are paying for the wedding themselves, friends and family shouldn't have a say in what you decide.

Answer 3

Yes.  I have friends who actually ignored my invitation.  This is your wedding, your day.  It's the happiest day of your life.  Do it for you.  Don't do it for your friends and family.  If they don't like your plans, they don't have to come.  No one is going to be happy.  But you can make sure you and your fiance are by doing what you want and not letting people tell you how to plan.  

In the end we eloped.  But that's not for everyone.  Do what makes you happy - s***w everyone else.  

Answer 4

Sounds like your family and friends have some jealousy issues.

Answer 5

Sometimes weddings bring out the worst in people. It's so unfortunate.

Maybe these people think they can push you around. Either way, it doesn't matter. They need to be immediately be made to understand that your plans are not open for debate/discussion or alteration. Make sure they know they don't HAVE to come if they aren't able to fit it into their schedule. I hate people like that.

Answer 6

well we pissed off his side.Some people need to realize its not their day.It's yours.Don't worry about it.Unless its something very serious.In the end everyone will have a good time.If it gets too bad,don't invite the trouble makers.Or Elope!

Answer 7

It's normal.

Pick your battles wisely. It's your wedding day, I know. But are there some things you can bend on?

I made my MIL wear the color of dress I wanted, but let her invite extended family to the photography session. I didn't want to, but now those pictures are some of the last photos we have of people.

My sister was my MOH instead of my best friend, which hurt my friend's feelings. So I took her with me to get the bridesmaid's dresses.

Get ready to negotiate now. You'll do it all you married life.

Answer 8

Not really. It may or may not be common, but it certainly not normal. Good friends and family are almost always really happy for the bride and groom. If your friends and family are not, then likely there is something wrong. For example:

1. They see something wrong in your relationship that you are blind to.

2. You or your partner or both have changed and started acting different around them, cutting them off, or isolating yourselves.

3. Your wedding plans have gotten out of hand and are becoming a big burden on everyone.

4. You just have selfish, immature friends and family.

Based on what I see here, it sounds like #4, but definitely take a close look at the first three before you make any rash judgments. They are not acting this way without a reason. In any case, it is your wedding. Do what YOU want, and don't worry about pleasing everyone. You just need to please you and your partner. If your family and friends are worth a dime, they'll show up and do what they have to do.

Good luck!

Answer 9

No, it is not normal.  

Answer 10

That usually only happens when the couple is being demanding or the bride is acting like bridezilla. I know it's your wedding but sometimes making it all about you, which it's not, will upset people.  

Answer 11

It's your wedding and should be all about YOU!  If they cannot respect your decisions and wishes - that is normal - then perhaps you shouldn't include them.  Good Luck.

Answer 12

Actually...a few years from now, when all the stress is off, you will probably look back and see that it was the two of you and not everyone else who was being unreasonable.

The stress of planning a reception can be overwhelming.  Sometimes brides and grooms tend to get a little selfish and forget that they are making unreasonable demands on their guests in a vain effort to create a fantasy reception.

Take a step back and look at your plans:

1.  Are you focusing on the party and not the marriage?

2.  Are you asking people to drive excessive distances?

3.  Are you asking people to fund your party?

4.  Are you asking people to take time off from work?

5.  Are you asking people to wait unreasonable times between the wedding and the reception?

6.  In short...are you so focused on creating a storybook wedding that you are forgeting that when it is over you have to try and step back into your life?

Answer 13

Well a lot of stress can arise in planning a wedding.  Everyone has opinions and certain things they want incorporated.  I have heard of parents and friends getting upset about things or hurt but never that far.  

Answer 14

This is most definitely not normal.

Small disagreements over details, finicky MOBs and future inlaws, maybe. The random guest that suddenly wants to invite their screaming child, yes. But definitely not yelling and screaming ... that's just uncalled for, rude and definitely not the norm.

Just worry about your immediate family first, see if you can settle those fires, but always, always keep in mind that you need to do what YOU both want. Unless your patents are footing the whole bill, you need to spend your money on what will make you and your fiance happy that day, and no one else. I mean, always keep guests' comfort in mind, but who's getting married? You guys. Don't forget that.

Answer 15

I think folks fight over funeral arrangements as much as weddings. Tell everyone although you appreciate all of their thoughts, you have a special idea on how you have visualized your wedding. Show them your designs and ask them which of the ideas they would like to work on