When & how should I tell my daughter that she is adopted?

Question

I'm single. I adopted a 7 months old baby girl, now she is 3 years old. I love her very much. When and how should I tell her about the situation?

Answer 1

My parents first began telling me in a bedtime story about two people who had a baby they could not take care of and the two ( in your case, one person ) people who wanted a baby to love.

As I grew older, the story became more detailed. And, when I started asking questions about the real story, they answered.

I cannot remember ever not knowing.

Answer 2

I remember being told when I around 4 years old.  I feel that you should tell your daughter as simply as you can, when you feel she is old enough to understand.  My parents told me that they ARE my parents even though I did not come from them.  They still loved me as their own.  I don't agree with people who say "Don't tell the kid" because eventually the child will find out, and may end up resenting you for not telling them.  That happens often and usually ends up in bad behavior. :(  So tell your daughter when you are comfortable explaining that although she did not come from you, she is your daughter and you love her and that she is wanted and loved. :)

Answer 3

i wouldn't tell her...it will make her feel awkward...love her as your own...it doesn't really matter where she came from...it matters that she's wanted and loved by you!

Answer 4

I would honestly wait until she is a bit older and can understand where you are coming from more. At this age she will just be confused that you arent really biologically daddy and then "wheres mommy" comes up... eek bad news. Id suggest talking with a psychologist to see when a good age would be. Then notify her school councilors of the situation just in case she needs support at school, and maybe get her into counseling even before you tell her?  I think a child psychologist would have great advice. good luck!!  :)

Answer 5

I would start telling her now and continue to explain it thruout her childhood. Tell her she was specially chosen and that you picked her. I was adopted and this is how my parents handled it. I was glad to know.

Answer 6

If you give her love enough through life she will think of you as real parents and it would be no problem however when she is in high school would be okey i think

Answer 7

whenever you know she is ready. how will you know she is ready? she's ready when you know she will still love you no matter what happens =]

most likely when she's a late teen  

Answer 8

tell her when shes older she wont understand when shes 3

probaly tell her when shes around 7-10 mayybeee u can push it 2 six

Answer 9

at the age of three i dont think its right mate. try when shes in her teens.  

Answer 10

Honestly, I would tell her as soon as possible. If you keep it a secret from her, later on, when she does find out (because she will) she will be more upset with you than anything else. If you tell her when she hits the teenage years, your gonna have to deal with the teenage emotions and such. Just let her know early so its done with and if she ever asks you questions it wont be in an angry tone but probably out of curiosity and by the time she hits her teenage years, she will come to accept it and hopefully she will understand.

Answer 11

Now.

I think she should always know that she is adopted and when she grows up should not remember "not knowing."  

Answer 12

Awwww..... If you wait to tell her until she is older, she will make a big deal about it, and probably be mad. But if you tell her at such a young age, she probably won't understand. I would go up to her and say when she's about 10 years old, sweetheart, you're adopted, and give her the whole story.  

Answer 13

well, you cant not tell her, thats not right

(for the first person who answers)

well, my mom told me i was adopted when i was in the 1st grade

at night and i started crying, but i didnt understand everything completely.

i think tell her when youre ready. 3 years old is too young.

just keep it either age 8 or below, because i thought about it and i liked being told about it young, if they waited and told me now i would be upset with them. its like keeping a secret from me, my whole life

but, whenever you feel is right, tell her.

and my mom just told me straight up, 'when you were born, your father and i adopted you because i couldnt have a baby andyour parents didnt have enough money to keep you'

tell her the truth, but wait til she understands everything and why she was put up for adoption and all

i think there will be good/bad emotions either way.

goodluck :)

Answer 14

my mom started telling me when i was 5 but i was too young to understand so she told me again when i was about 8 and it was weird because she told me to come sit down so we could talk and i was thinking to myself what do i have another mom and surprisingly i was right. so when u feel shes at the age she'll be able to understand that's when you should tell her or even sooner if she begins to inquire about the subject.(IE:family heritage projetcs ect.)

Answer 15

i would think when she is about 5 because at 3 she wouldn't understand, but at 5 they are a bit more understanding but all children are different you might feel she will be able to understand earlier or later than this.  

Answer 16

I would wait until she asks then, explain at her age level until she is able to understand.  Good luck.

Answer 17

Be upfront w/ her always, never hide it from her. Chances are she'll somehow "sense" it as a teen (like my nephew did) and you wouldn't want it to cause issues with her self esteem.  

Answer 18

Right now. the longer you wait the harder it will be to tell her that. if you tell her after she is older she will begin to wonder if all of your love was staged. When you tell her, tell her this "I chose you and that makes you special. Most parents do not get to chose their kids but I chose you because I love you." or something to that effect.

Answer 19

I Would Tell Her When You Feel Comfortable Discussing It And Shes Old Enough To Understand About It. But Dont Leave It Too Late. The Longer You Leave It The Harder It Will Get.

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