When i go after my ex for child support?

Question

do i need to be there? do i bring the baby? should i get the paternity test before? will he be there? will i have to talk to him? do i ask for child support or demand it?! thank you soo much for help, im very nervious about everything and unsure if i want to even see the a*****e.. but i have a beautiful baby on the way!!

Answer 1

You have to decide whats more important - the money or your peace & quiet with your child.

Guaranteed if you chase him for money he will NEVER be out of your life.

Answer 2

It depends sometimes they will offer a DNA test there and also it's good to be there in case he lies.

Answer 3

The cheapest way for you to do this, is to go through your closest child support office.  As someone else said, laws & procedure vary by state.  But a few things that are nearly identical in every state are the following.  As soon as you have the birth certificate, go to your local child support enforcement agency (or whatever they call it in your state), & you will have to "apply" for child support.  They will give you around a 10 page application that will ask for info. on you, the child, & "dad".  You will also have to give them things like the child's birth certificate, probably some paystubs & a few other proofs like that.  If you do not know everything about dad, like his social security number, it is okay, just give them what you do know.  Obviously the more you know the better.  Then THEY will contact "dad" & THEY will start the court process for you.  Dad will have to deal with them & they will ask him to either say yes I'm dad or hey I want a DNA test.  Then they will go from there.  

You do NOT have to have paternity established prior to applying for child support.  It helps if you do, but it's cheaper on you to let them do it.  They will only do DNA testing if he requests it, & he will have to pay for it, if it says yes he is dad.  If it says no, then you have to pay for it.  Plus, not every DNA testing center is approved by the courts, you don't want to go through a lab that they will not recognize because then you'll have to do it again.  If you do the DNA testing yourself without court involvement it will cost about 5 times more than the way the court does it.  And a final note on DNA testing, if you do not have court involvment, then "dad" does not have to agree to the DNA test if he does not want to.  If the court is involved he will have no choice but to agree to it, or face contempt charges.  He may waive the DNA test & just admit he is dad, but that is his choice.  He will have to do one or the other.

After the child support office has found dad, like I said they will start with asking him which way he wants to do it.  Do you agree or deny that you are dad?  If he just agrees, then you will never have to see him to get things rolling.  If he just agrees, they will then get all his pertant info, income, etc. & do up the calculations to see what he has to pay, & it will never enter a court room.  If he demands DNA testing, they will postpone everything to allow time for the test, & it will take a few months to do.  I know someone who just went for a DNA test in March of 08 & they still don't have the results back yet.  You do not have to hire a seperate attorney if you don't want to when going through the support office.  They have attorney's on payroll that will take care of everything.  This attorney does not per se represent you, but they are representing your case for child support.  They will not let your ex's lawyer (if he gets one) keep you from getting what is right.  The attorney at the support office will let you know if they need additional info. from you to proceed, if you need to go for DNA testing, if you even need to show up to court.  They will not let you miss any of that.  You will get mailed anything that gets filed with the court during this process.

I know it does sound scary, but let them do it for you.  It might take a while this way, but that's why they let you back date things.  You won't miss out on a penny if the process gets prolonged due to testing or other filings by him.  And MOST likely you won't even have to show up.  Good luck.

Answer 4

I wish I could be more specific, but it varies state to state. You should see a lawyer- this IS expensive, but it's for the care of your child.

To get a little groundwork going, ask this on the law forum.

Don't be afraid to ask upfront what the lawyer charges and if he does payment plans. A lot of them do.

Best of luck to you.