When is a good time after dating to get married?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 3 months. We are very much in love.

We lived with each other for the first year we were together and have recently just moved back to our parents houses, as our lease went up on our apartment and it is more economical to live for free. (Lol)

I have heard it wrecks relationships when you live together before getting married and have decided it would be a better idea if we waited a little while before moving in together again.

But we both miss each other so much.

I am 21 and he is 26.

What is a good time after dating for a couple to get married?

I want to be with him for the rest of my life.

But i don't want to rush into anything too quickly...

Answer 1

if you consider you'll have to be together for the rest of your life a year is nothing. you have not been though anything together to know how each other will be. That's why the divorce rate is 50% because everyone gets married after a year and then they find out they don't like each other as much as they thought.  

Answer 2

I'd say, two years is a general rule.

How does it wreck the relationship if you live together before getting married? I think on a contrary, it's a "must" to live together for a little while. Otherwise, how do you know for sure that you're household-compatible?

21 is very young. Are you done with your education? What wrecked my marriage is the fact that we were way too young. We grew in complete opposite directions later on.  

Answer 3

you;re young, he;'s young.. you have so much time.. im 27, my man is 35.. the saem thing happened to us.. we've been together ovder a year, lived together, then, circumstances required us to move back to our parents.. finantially, we're not ready to take care of each other.. we spend all outr time together, are going to spend the rest of our lives together, but really need top get things right before we can take on the responsibilities of marriage too, along with everything else.. please have patience and know that if you're going to stay together, then thats what will happen, no matter what! we have been living separately for about 7 months.. i cant wait for us to move back in together.. if he asked me to marry him tomorrow, i would... but, timing is just not right.. love will always find a way

Answer 4

I agree with Betty J...myself, me & my hubby, we got married 3 1/2 months of when we started our relationship, BUT I DID know him for years before we got involved, so I guess that's different...it's what's best for you both...but you're JUST 21 I was 32 when I got married, and my husband was 1 1/2 months away from being 37, so I personally think you're young, but only you and your bf/fiancee know what's best for the 2 of you...

Answer 5

It's so different for every couple. I know people that have gotten engaged after 6 months, and I know people that have dated over 7 years before getting engaged.

It's whenever the time is right for you guys. I think after a year you have the right to ask him to see what he wants to do and where he thinks the relationship is going, but don't scare him off.

Just wait until the time is right. There's no set time limit. :)

Answer 6

the best time to get married is when both people want to!

i know people who got married within a year of meeting each other and have had many happy years while some other left it 5 or 6 years and got divorced soon after!

Answer 7

The time to get married is when you are ready. My girlfriend and I have been together for going on 5 years, live together, and don't plan on getting married for atleast another two years. After I finish college and stuff. We just bought a house together, thats a huge commitment right there.

Living together before you get married makes sense to me. That was a rule in the 50s because they didn't want you having premarital s*x.

But really, s*x before marriage and living together before marriage can atually be a good thing. And I don't mean always...there's always exceptions.

But if you get married, then live together and realize you can't stand eachother now, now you gotta get divorced...if you wait and have s*x and realize this person is totally boring and unwilling to try anything, then you end up in a sexless marriage which is very bad. Or the person could be insane. I've seen it happen.

So, yeah when you're ready :)

Answer 8

I think when your ready but since your living together I dont see was a problem getting married soon

Answer 9

When both people feel ready to get married (emotionally, mentally, financially), then it's a good time. Some people are ready after a couple of months, others after a couple of years, yet others may never feel ready. You need to discuss it with your b/f and find out how he feels about a possibility of marriage in the future.

And no, living together before marriage doesn't wreck relationships. Not being on the same page about important things does. Make sure you two are compatible and have similar goals and values, and you will be ok. Good luck.

Answer 10

From your question I can see that you are ready for the commitment however even though you've mentioned that you are in love you have not mentioned if your guy is also sending you signals that he is ready. There is not fixed time for people to get married after certain months of dating. It really depends on the couple and their wants and needs. You are still very young so... there is no rush really.

Leaving with your boyfriend does not ruin getting married later on completely. It just proves for a lot of people that they are not meant to be together and that is a good thing to find out before you get married! But you guys have lived together already so... you know how it is!

I hope everything works out with you!  

Answer 11

when both of you are ready.