When is a relationship over.?

Question

I have been dating this guy for 3 years. We are perfect for each other.

Over the past three years Of course i have learned more about him.

I can tell you know that if i were to know all his baggage and problems i would not have dated him.

However, he has two kids 8, 11 boy and girl by two different women.

He doesn't make them mind the way any normal parent would. Causing us to fight. I don't want to tell him how to raise his kids but he is setting them up for disaster.

But shouldn't i have a say so if i live there too?

I cannot get him to communicate with me. As far as what he is doing that day. when the kids are coming over, If i have to babysit. etc

I cannot get him to fix anythign around the house. And i can't get him to help out financially without a fight.

I am crying when itype this because i don't know what to do..is this something normal for all relationships like mine to go throu

if i leave him will the next person i date develope problems like this.

I cannot get him to look toward the future and get himself straightened out, financially, to better our future.

how do i get him to notice me, respect me and my opinion?

I am very depressed to the point that i have nothing to do with my horses, dogs or outside life. I have gained weight, and have been put on blood pressure meds.

Is it just me or is there really something wrong with this situation?

Answer 1

Save yourself honey.

Love is not supposed to be harmful.

Nor should you have to force your issues.

If it's too hard, let it go.

People act as if they will get special points for putting up with BS from a loved one in hopes that things will get better.

Save yourself and open the door for someone that you deserve.

Answer 2

if i were you i would tell him straight up that you are not good to me you are very selfish (and give facts from the past to prove this) thats hes not straightening up in ANY way and say you are tired of it and cant deal with it and giving you health problems and your leaving. if he comes back he really does love you and wants to change. if he doesnt come back he never really loved you and you were probably being used. Goodluck. this is the only way to take control. YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN AND BE STRONG! you are being too nice and giving him the benfit of the doubt. stop doing that becuase you keep geting hurt. you need to scare him and leave and see what happends after that. the truth will come out if you do this.  

Answer 3

He will never change, dont end up being the third lady to wind up with a child from him. Believe me you want to look back and say whew I am glad I let that one go!

Answer 4

I'd say you're NOT perfect for each other.  Judging by what you've written here, you deserve better... much better.

Answer 5

Why don't you tell us why you guys are perfect for each other?  Just ask yourself this question and you'll probably have the answer to your question. He won't communicate with you as far as to what he's that day and then you HAVE to babysit? If he is not helping financially then he putting his money and time elsewhere. Get rid of him and the depression will go away.

Answer 6

As soon as I go for a roll in the hay with a lady the next day.

Answer 7

I think you should have a serious talk with him and tell him if he does not straighten things out with the relationship that it is over because you shouldnt let any guy ruin your life you need a man that will respect you and your feelings x girl you can do better x

Answer 8

I really feel for you. It sounds like you're in quite a desperate situation. From what I can tell ( and I'm no expert), it's time for you to lay your cards out on the table. Tell openly, honestly (but CALMLY...you don't want to tell him when you're angry because then he'll get defensive and you'll both end up exploding) how you feel, what you're frustrated about. And then tell him that you've considered leaving him but you don't want to because you still love him. Believe me, you don't have to settle for second best. But try salvage the relationship: it may be worth it! But I certainly don't think you can keep going on like this for much longer - it sounds like you're at a very desperate point. And if I'm right, you MUST talk to him NOW!!!!!

Answer 9

It's time to leave him. There are many great guys out there. Be wise when choosing.

Answer 10

I follow my motto hit it and quit it  

Answer 11

You should be telling him all of this, not us. But he needs to straighten out his act extremely soon, and keep to it. If he doesn't, you need to leave him. This is very unhealthy both physically, and mentally for you currently. Because of him you are neglecting your animals, your friends, your life. This is not how a "perfect" relationship should be.