When is he going to propose?

Question

My BF and I are dating for 5 years now.I am 29yrs old and never married before. i am extremely attractive .all my coworkers loves me .almost all of them wants to date me but i am scared of separating with my long time BF and start new relationship. please advise me what to do with my life .

Answer 1

Don't get married,ever.

Answer 2

talk to him.  I will have been with my fiance for 5 years before we get married.  I've heard of others who've been together for 10 years before even talking marriage.  At this point I don't think how attractive you are or how much your coworkers like you matters at all.  He likes you for his reasons, might not have to do with your looks at all and I doubt he cares one bit what your co-workers think.

Talk to him, honestly, about if he wants to get married, if he ever wants to get married, tell him you are ready.

BTW: don't mention anything about your coworkers wanting to date you. that will make it seem like you are saying "marry me or I'm leaving because I have all these backups and don't care that much"

Answer 3

I am in the same situation with my BF of 4.5 years. We even live together. I talk* to him about it, although it usually turns into a fight. He told me today he isn't planning to propose anytime soon, and that he will do it when HE sees fit, and when it fits into HIS timeline! Uh, what about me? Well I posted a similar thread and every single person told me that if by 5 years, they haven't done it, they most likely aren't going to, or may do so only out of pressure, feeling obligated, etc. which is not what anyone wants. I too am scared of separating from my BF, but our lease is up in January, and I might just make peace until then and leave him.

I looked up online these 2 books, which might help you. One is "He Is Just Not Into You", and the other is "The List: 7 Steps to Getty Married in 30 Days" (or something similar to that). Basically what they say is if a man is into you, and wants to be with you forever, he will go bend over backwards to make sure your his wife/ GF, whatever. The excuses that men make (not until were older, not until I graduate, not until "money's better" (is it ever?)) are just that, excuses. Mine says stuff about money, and "whats the big deal? we already live together, whats a piece of paper?"

But I keep telling myself that I have a right to want to be married, and he has a right not to. Your situation may be similar, and after 5 years, YOU ARE validated for feeling like you want to get married. But if, after a hopefully good, honest talk, he says that it's not a priority, and not in his timeline yet, you deserve to find a man who is willing to jump through hoops to be with you.

I ask it this way: "Why would you want to marry someone who isn't into wanting to marry you?" or "Why waste your time thinking about marrying someone, when clearly he isn't thinking about you?"

Best of Luck!

Answer 4

There are a lot of things to be taken into consideration.  If he isn't financially stable he may not be comfortable enough to propose.  Or he may not see you as the wife material and is just staying with you until he finds 'the one'.  Honestly, though from what you wrote you don't sound too in love with him if you are considering breaking up to pursue a guy from work instead just because your man hasn't popped the question yet.  

Answer 5

I am in the same boat as you. We have been dating 7 years. I am 26. He is almost 27. We have been ring shopping though I don't know when he will propose.

Just talk to your BF about your feelings. You should be able to if you have been together for 5 years. He may feel the same, but yet not want to mention marriage unless you do.

Answer 6

  they did a study recently, like, within the last year or so, and found out that the average length a couple is in a relationship before a guy proposes is somewhere around six years, four months, and three days.

   furthermore, have you even TALKED to him about wanting to get married?  he may have no idea you even want to.  

  its not OUR life, YOU have to decide what to do with it

Answer 7

Have you talked with your bf about it? Because the honest answer is that he could propose tomorrow, or he could never propose, or any day in between.

Have a frank conversation with him. "John, I love you and you're an important part of my life. I want you to be there with me in the future. What are your thoughts?"

If he is noncommittal, or doesn't seem really interested in marriage, you need to decide whether what you have now is enough, or whether you need a relationship with someone whose priorities are similar to yours.

And Elizabeth A has hit the nail on the head. There are always going to be reasons not to get married. But if getting married is something that you want, then you shouldn't settle for someone who makes those excuses.

Answer 8

whoa. i'm not dr. phil