When is it appropriate to bathe with or bathe children according to age/s*x?

Question

I was reading a question in the Dear Margo column about a concerned grandmother who was having issues about her 5 yr old granddaughter's father bathing with the child. This does appear abnormal to me, but I understand different people have different comfort levels. It does raise other questions for me, however. My daughter is 4 years old, we do not have a tub, only a shower. I am always in the bathroom when she showers and mostly I only wash her hair or scrub her knees and elbows. My father does the same thing for her when he is babysitting. I think this is appropriate. There has been an occasion where I have been short on time having a full time job and being a full time college student, and I have taken a shower with my daughter. I wash her hair while mine is getting wet then wash mine and get out and leave her in the shower while I get ready in the bathroom then get her ready when she gets out. Takes about 15 minutes to get us both ready that way when we are short on time. I think its appropriate. Margo, however said no one should be bathing with children except for same s*x children of the same age. Also since our bathroom is detached from the house I always have her play in the bathroom when I am showering and I take her to the bathroom with me and I go with her. I was looking for a consensus opinion on this I don't want to scar my kid over bathroom privacy issues.

Answer 1

This is around the age they start becoming more independent with their bodies and realizing differences, so it would be best to keep parents/adults and children more private with eachothers bathing I think. Just in case...

Answer 2

i still bath my 7 year old son i will b doin this till i feel he can clean himself without me there i bathed with all my children till thay were 2 at this age thay felt safe 2 b in the bath by them selfs i feel u should do what ever u and ur child feel ok with i dont no any child that can bath them selfs at the age of 5 so dont worrie i cant see that ur doin anythin rong

Answer 3

When  the child says they want to bathe by themselves that's the cutoff point. My daughters both showered with me. The 8 yr old stopped when she was about 5 and the 4 yr old still does but mostly she wants to bathe on her own. As long as the kids are comfortable and the parents are comfortable I say go for it.

Answer 4

I always bath and shower with my 4 year old son, like you said, in the mornings it saves time!! And you also know where they are and what they are up to. I dont see why this would be a problem at all.  

Answer 5

I personally feel that if anybody is uncomfortable with it going on inside the household, then it should stop. But if everyone is comfortable and nothing is going on that is inappropriate then it is fine up to a certain age. I do not think a kindergarten age child should bathe with their opposite s*x parent anymore, but that is my personal opinion. Some families are closer and privacy isn't so much of an issue.  

Answer 6

bathing with your OWN children is aboslutely fine, my husband has bathed with our children since they were born however he keeps his shorts on, he has baths with our 3 year old son and has always kept his shorts on as he feels more comfortable this way and with our 12 month old daughter the same thing however he keeps his shorts on also and he has a rule which i think is ridiculous but he prefers if she has her swimmers on also because he knows how stereo type some people can be, my daughter and son always ALWAYS come with me to the bathroom when i shower they dont come in as they persist they must stand there and watch, its fine all children do this and it is aboslutely fine,  

Answer 7

I'd say whover the "margo" is , is full of S***.   I have a three year old girl and we shower at the same time, then I usually leave, only cause she wants to play in the tub for an hour. I seem to remember showering with my mom well over the age of 5 thats for sure. we had no money and the hot water would last about 4 minutes. everybody get a shower while you can!.

some people have twisted thoughts and stuff, and they want to push it on others.  when your kid wants to shower by themself, they will say so. I hope, haha . i dont know