When is it appropriate to only attend a viewing and when is it appropriate to attend a funeral?

Question

What relation should you be to attend either one or both? (co-worker, ex-husband's new wife, brother-in-law's sister, etc.)

Answer 1

Funerals are about the living not the one who died. It's appropriate to attend whatever you feel like attending, you're presence is there to support the family and friends. In my church people will attend funerals of people they didn't know to show support, cops, firemen, military personnel and the like attend funerals of people who died in the line of duty to show support to the family and other member of their organizations.

The closer you are to a person or their family the more likely it is that you will attend both. If you are close to a family member you may attend a service to support them even if you did not ever meet the deceased.  

Answer 2

It really doesn't matter what relation you are, so much as your reason for going.  If you're going to pay respects to the family, you would go to the viewing.  If you just want to pay your respects to the dead person, go to both or the funeral.  the viewing is the better time for visitation and personally expressing your condolences, as they are available for it then.  At the funeral, there's a service going on, so you can't do it then.

Answer 3

If the deceased is someone you were very close to, you would be expected to go to the viewing and the funeral out of respect and I'm sure you would want to.  Otherwise it's your choice.  One of my good friend's father passed years ago and I went to the viewing out of respect for my friend but I saw no need to attend the actual funeral as that seemed too personal and intrusive.  So it's really whatever you are comfortable with outside of someone very close.

Answer 4

Whatever you feel most comfortable with. Some people find it to difficult to attend the funeral. If it is a close friend or family member you probably are expected to attend both.  If you do not have a close relationship with the person who passed away or do not feel the need to support those who were closest to them it is absolutely OK to just go to the wake ( viewing ) and pay your respects. You also don't need to stay for the whole thing as its mostly for relatives. Remember that you should do what  you are comfortable with, everyone should understand if its too much for the whole service and funeral.