When is it appropriate to tell a child they're adopted?

Question

The children in reference are 7 years old will be 8 later this year . Adopted from within the family at 6months because the mother was very irresponsible. Her mom put her out on the streets (with children)My mother gave her a chance to live with us because she didn't want to see the kids in and out of different places and homeless shelters.She took advantage of that, she would leave the kids and go out to hang...she would invite strange people who she was associates with into our home putting the kids in danger and our valuables at risk of theft. She would go over a friends house with her kids and leave them and the friend would bring the kids to our home. It was getting out of hand. One time she asked me to babysit and stayed gone for a week.My mother had a job, I attended school so this was too much for us to bare. My mother evetually got custody of them. Twins, two very smart children who will soon one day need to know what happened.

Answer 1

I really hope you don't listen to anyone on here for advice to this situation.

This is a serious matter.  Childhood crisis can have huge life long altering consequences.  This seems like a really complicated situation.

I ask that you PLEASE seek professional help with a psychologist on this.  Ask around about a good one.

Answer 2

you should tell themm when they are old enough to understand.they won't get it at a young age they prolly won't seem to care, so they should be told when they are about 12.

Answer 3

As soon as they are old enough to understand.

Answer 4

The sooner the better.  I heard someone say to their child that "You grew in my heart instead of my belly."  I thought this was sweet.  Children are much more understanding the younger they are.

Answer 5

Now is an appropriate time to tell the kids who their mum is.

Answer 6

You should tell them now. They may not understand all the details so just keep it simple. Let them know you love them and no one will be able to take them away and be prepared to answer any of their questions, don't give them more information than they ask for, because at 7 they are too young to understand everything.

Answer 7

The longer a kid develops thinking "normally" if you will, the bigger a change/shock it'll be when they find out they were adopted.

But hey that's just my two cents.

Answer 8

i would think when they are emotionally mature enough. when they know what adoption is, when they know how much you love them, and can accept the fact without having it be a traumatic experience.