When is it ok to say no?

Question

i have 4 teens

2 girls to boys

the girls are 17 and 15

and my boys are 14 and 16

they are all on so many sports

and my girls do nothing but shop

the money isnt the issue its

i dont want them going into the real world thinking everythings hannded to them

i want to know when i should cut them off????

like when they go to the mall how much do i give them each?

now i know this sounds horable but my kids who can drive got to pick any car they wanted

now i have to let my younger ones do that wen they can drive beacuse that wouldnt be fare

right?

but my question is when to cut them off

Answer 1

okay, i think that they should earnn things

like make up amounts for grades.. like XX for getting an A and you owe me XX for getting an F ect. and they can use that money to go shop or w/e. i think sports are really good for kids.

and also should be based on them helping out in the house.

i think you should cut them off if they are out of HS and they don't want to go to college, that should be an immediate cut off.

(you should tell them about this too)

you should also make sure that they are going full-time and not taking BS classes. like pottery lol. if that's happening then i don't think it's a bad idea to still support them because you will be helping them help themself. --make sure you know what they want to do so they're not just using you, like some people stay in a CC for years and years.. it's rediculous.

and yeah it's PERFECTLY FINE if you have the money to buy them cars they want then go for it, there is nothing wrong with fine living if that's just how much you make. they won't be brats as long as you teach them that hey i have my life together that's why i have the things i have and show me that you can have your life together too you know. if they want to be ditching class, getting bad grades teach them early where that's going to get them, no shopping, ect.

doing that will encourage them to play the game of life :) and there should be no reason why they shouldn't succeed if they have concerned parent(s) and money to be able to do that.

good luck! :D

(oh and if they don't have any after school activity to do then yeah min wage jobs that get you nowhere are fine, but if they're doing sports, there's no value for taking a min wage job)--same with college, like i'm taking 16 units including a class that everyone says take alone, if my parents told me to sacrifice it (well they have) to get a min wage job i'd be sad because that's not being PRODUCTIVE with my time.(but i won because it's saving me a semester where in the long run will give me 50000 instead of like 5000)

Answer 2

hmmm, thats tough, they are already passed the "spoiled" limit unfortunately. it is going to be very hard for them to "get it" when you do cut them off which you really should've don't a long time ago. The whole buying a car for each of them is just ridiculous, there are so many people in this world who have nothing at all. Maybe you need to try talking to them first and just say that its time for them to get jobs and if they want to shop they can spend the money they earn. I have a very close friend who was a small business owner that let the money go to his head, he bought his children everything under the sun, from season tickets to red sox games to every video game system that is available. Well then he lost his business, his house, and everything they had pretty much. Well that was a huge reality check and one that could've been a lot easier on the kids if they didn't get everything and anything they wanted when they wanted it. Now they aren't getting all of the material things and they have a really hard time dealing with it. I don't know, you say money isn't the issue but it wasn't for my friend either, you never know when something bad is gonna happen, it just happens, and one day, you could lose everything you have, and think of all the money you could have if you didn't give your kids money all the time. I think the best way to go about it is to slowly cut them off, you know, maybe give less money and tell them if they want more they have to work for it, even if they do chores or something to earn it, but at least 2 if not 3 of them are at the age where they can work part time on weekend and/or after school. What it really comes down to though is they are your children and you are the one raising them not anyone else. I wish you luck and i hope nothing I said was offensive, I didn't mean to come off like that if I did.

Answer 3

k

Answer 4

Actually, in my opinion, you should say no to everything you are not sure of. It would be horrible to take back a yes but easy to change a no to a yes if needed.  

Answer 5

Anytime is an OK time for a parent to say no to their children.

The best way to make a child appreciate the value of money is to tie their spending to responsibilities. Chores are the standard, but anything of a positive, active nature can be used: exercise, good grades, community service, etc. Anything is better than nothing.

Make sure they understand that their money is directly related to their behavior, and that bad or unacceptable behavior has negative consequences for their fun and money down the line.

Answer 6

You are the parent. It is your decision.  

Answer 7

The 17 year-old needs to go to work and learn the value of money.

The others can be teenagers still, but with the firm understanding that work will be required when they too, reach 17. The one thing that you must not do is give them gas money or repair the car except for work. As my parents told me, "You can have a car and no money or money and no car unless you work."