When is it okay to back-out of a wedding invite?

Question

my best-friends brother is getting married on 08/02 & I got my invitation and I did rsvp,but the wedding is in another state(yes I knew this before but, I thought I could afford the WHOLE amount) now I am going to be strapped for money & I wont be able to go , but I am TERRIFIED that my best friend won't understand.Should I back-out or be in total debt? please help me !!!

Answer 1

its better to let them know, then just not show up.

i think it's understandable.

Answer 2

you could carpool with your friend? if its your bestfriend im sure she will understand especily sence its not her wedding. <3Q

Answer 3

GO to the wedding, and give a card instead of a pricey gift.

I would rather someone show up and not give a gift, then to decline their invite this late, especially since they've probably already given the count to the ceremony and reception sites.

This happened to me, several yes's turned around and said no about a week before the wedding, because they couldn't afford to go and bring a gift.  I told them I would have rather had them show up and not bring a gift, especially since I already put in the head count to the ceremony and reception sites.  FYI Final head counts are usually needed 30 days in advance.

If you can't afford gas, hotel, and travel expenses, let her know, and apologize for not saying so sooner.  If you CAN afford hotel, gas, and travel expenses but not the gift, GO and just give them a gift some time in the future.

Answer 4

back out

im sure your friend will understand.

Dont go to a wedding just to please another person when you could go into debt doing it.

Answer 5

Call them as soon as possible and tell them that it's not going to work out for you. They don't need a final headcount until the week or two before the wedding.

As someone planning a wedding right now, I understand that some people won't be able to make it. In fact, there are people I am inviting out of respect but that I know probably won't go.

Answer 6

Well first see if u can borrow any money. If not tell yur friends yur situation and maybe she can help you

Answer 7

I'm sure your bestfriend will understand.Tell her now.Get it over with.

Answer 8

back out.   tell her you cannot afford it

Answer 9

It's your best friend's brother; not your best friend. If she's truly your best friend, then she'll understand that you can't afford it. And send an extra nice gift.

You also need to Re-RSVP to the bride and groom; not just your best friend.

Don't go into debt just to save face. You're just a wedding guest. Not a big deal.

Answer 10

I'm sure if this person is your "best friend" they'll understand. Apologize a lot and offer to still purchase a gift. Good luck.

Answer 11

You should back out.  Tell your friend your situation and hopefully they will understand. You should not put yourself into debt just to please other people.  Send a gift and/or card and you should be fine.

Answer 12

Contact him/her immediately.  It's very possible someone living near you is also traveling to the wedding and might welcome splitting the gas.  A good friend should understand, if not, wasn't really a good friend.  Wouldn't you understand?

Answer 13

It is O.K. if you are unable, because things do come up....

Write the following on a beautiful wedding card:  

Unfortunately, I am not going to be able to attend your wedding.  This is due to unexpected financial hardships.  I truly hope you will understand my situation.  I really would have loved to share your special day with you.  Enclosed find a wedding gift for you and.............  Again, my apologies and I wish you have a wonderful and happy wedding day and you will be in my thoughts.

Send an American Express Gift Card for say $50.00 or whatever you can afford or send a check enclosed in a wedding card.

Answer 14

apologize, explain the situation to your best friend. say that you miscalculated and your funds won't cover it. still offer to give a wedding gift. talk to her and ask her what she wants you to do - don't ask to be lent money but if she really wants you to be there she might be able to get you to travel with her or just understand. speak to her about it in person, and talk it through and explain why you already gave an rsvp. be honest, if you are truly good friends she will understand. good luck honey, i hope it goes well x x x

Answer 15

If you tell your friend what you just told me, and if your friend is a reasonable person, you should be okay.

Have you looked into taking a train?  Apparently they still exist and are cheaper than driving.

Answer 16

tell her, if she is a good friend then she will understand and maybe she will help pay for you.  good luck

Answer 17

rsvp no and send a nice gift.. it is her bro's wedding not hers.. if she is going to be mad you can't afford  to go, either tell her to pay for your trip, or give her a list of our bills that month and tell her to pay for them... seriously.. it would be a different story if it was her wedding....

Answer 18

I would just let your friend know that you can't afford it.  All etiquette people agree on one thing - you can't spend money that you don't have, and it's not rude not to have money.  Besides, the main thing for RSVPing is to let them plan the wedding best by knowing how many people to expect, but most of the "final counts" for the caterer, etc., aren't due until a few weeks before the wedding, and then they have a final count a few days before the wedding. Quick let her know!

Answer 19

i just got married a couple months ago and had a couple family members tell us the week of the wedding they wouldn't be able to go due to financial.  i was perfectly fine with this.  and it was nice that they actually told me instead of being no show.

Answer 20

keep your promises. find ways to have the money. sweat it.

Answer 21

yes, but let them know ASAP

Answer 22

If your friend truly cares about you he should understand, I doubt your friend wants you to go through months of struggling for a one night occasion. just explain to them that you want to be there for his big day but your not in the position to do so

Answer 23

Your *BEST FRIEND* should understand, I mean, they are your best friend, that is what best friends are for, to understand the issues we have going on in life.

If this will truly put you into financial hardship, then it is ok to back out. Buy a nice gift/card and all should be well.

Explain this to your friend, I am sure they will understand.

Answer 24

have s*x and become pregnet