When is it time to get a divorce?

Question

when do you all think it's time to get a divorce? How do you know when your not in love with your partner anymore?

Answer 1

When just looking at them makes you angry...

Answer 2

When you think I just can't do this any more .When you think I can't stand this person any more and you no longer can even argue about the same stupid c**p that you argue about every single day and nothing ever changes.Then what else can you do but get a divorce?Or kill the spouse?

Answer 3

As Deep Thought said, "Tricky." Married and divorced twice, both times, the Lady left ME for another man. At a point in time, it became obvious to me there was no going back, so I filed the papers and love had nothing to do with the decision. It was simply a matter of cutting losses. In both cases, the Lady was gone and I finally realized that she would never come back. Did I mention that each time, a close friend was involved? Leaving me for another did not make either of these women bad people, though my close friends were suddenly no longer my close friends. I still love each to some extent. Having either or both of these Ladies come back into my life would be a welcome event for me. However, having both at the same TIME might be a bit awkward for THEM, though I might like it, and who knows, maybe they would be agreeable to a threeway relationship...

Answer 4

When you come home and find him in bed with your mom's dog and the house is a mess and he's been eating to many bon bons.

Answer 5

Mine was pretty easy, caught my wife having a 6 year affair by going through her computer and finding love notes.

Answer 6

Jennifer,

Love is a decision , not just a feeling.  In marriage some people  are madly passionate about one another one day and  want their space the next.  Women often get disillusioned because, once married, men may no longer see a reason to try so hard( we women do this too of course.)

I believe that one of the biggest let downs is when those lovely falling in love chemicals wear off and there you are. You no longer "feel " in love. The chemicals usually last 12 - 18 months so i have read.  Really though you married your husband  for more than just the feelings I'd imagine, try to  look for the things that you saw in him that made you fall in love in the first place.

Let me add this though. Because so often no one says it.  If you are thinking about divorce because you are being  truly neglected, or  if you are abused in any way please seek counseling and don't stay in that situation. It will only get worse and you'd regret the time that you spent waiting for change that will never come unless you act first to get help.  

Answer 7

You'll know.

Basically, when you find that you are incompatible & that even mounds of therapy doesn't help solve your problems. When you find that you are more in love with the memory of who they were rather than who the person next to you is right now. When you find that you spend more time fighting than you do talking. When you spend more nights lying away from each other in cold & stony silence rather than spending them cuddling or making love.

Before you do anything, try seeking couples' therapy. Sometimes an outside party can help. If it doesn't, then it may be time to split.

Answer 8

No one can tell you when to get a divorce, it is a decision that only you can make.

Answer 9

Oh, just throw it away when it starts to get stale.

I guess you have ask did you really love each other in the first place?  

Maybe you were excited by the idea of the wedding.   Or primarily attracted to his looks / her s*x appeal.  Maybe you thought you would love him more after you got him to change. Or thought your love was enough to make her love you back.

For every half-a**  reason to get married there is a half-a** marriage.

Next time don't get married until that new-love so-in-love rush is over.  Then if you still want to have s*x with him, want to hear his voice when he walks into the room, can't wait to tell him something funny, brag about him to your friends, take small opportunities to make him happy--then marry him.  That's the  love that  keeps growing over the long haul , and it's way more satisfying than the rush.  Sort of like the difference between a candy bar and a steak.  

Answer 10

Definitely if the time has come when your children see the constant problems and fighting.

Other than that, only you know when the right time is. If you have tried to make it work over a long time and its not working. Only your heart can tell you.

Answer 11

its only you that knows the answer to that

Answer 12

many people stay married even when they are not in love with their partner anymore... but they still love them. it is not really a "in love" sort of question to be fair.

you need to get a divorce when you think this would make your life better in the long run. i like the saying "marriage can be a blessing - so can divorce".

ask yourself and honestly answer whether you think you can be happy with this person for the rest of your life, whether things are ever going to change, whether you see yourself growing old with your partner and whether you think that there is someone else out there who suits you better. just be honest and you will know, you probably already do.  

Answer 13

I believe that once you fall in love, you are forever in love. Maybe the feelings isn't that strong at sometimes, but its there.

Divorce is not the answer. Talk it out and if you have to get some couples therapy :)

Answer 14

If you have to ask this question, then you have no idea of where your relationship stands.  You will know when you are not in love with your partner anymore....and you will know when it's time for a divorce.