When is it too soon to date after a divorce?

Question

Ok I recently got divorced. During the process, I did meet someone (afterall the divorce took a whole year) and we've been dating. I have made it clear to him that I am in no rush to get re-married or anything but for us to just enjoy the dating journey. He agrees and understands.

The problem is so many people think it is too soon to date and that I should be by myself. I say why? I haven't lost myself, I am enjoying my alone times but why should I cheat myself of companionship like movies, dinners, etc.

When do you think is the best time to date again after divorce or is there a time?

Answer 1

Isn't one of the reasons you got divorces so you could date?  Legally you can "date" during a legal separation (if your state has those, mine does not) although I don't think it is very nice.  Once your divorce is final you are free to put yourself out there.  

Answer 2

Since you're not "dating" to pick up a new husband, it's not too soon for you.  

Answer 3

It's different for everyone. Divorce is hard, but for some people it's a really traumatic experience, especially if they were caught by surprise and don't want the breakup to happen. I can see how in that situation it would be good to wait and "find yourself". Dating too soon in that situation could mean you're just lonely or desperate for male companionship. It could be years before that person is ready to date again.

However for other people getting divorced is almost a relief. If you've been out of love for a long time or knew this was coming for a while, then by the time you decide to get separated you may be ready for someone else to come into your life. There are no set rules, just go with your heart.

A lot of people who haven't been through divorce automatically assume that dating right away is wrong. They don't know what went on in the years leading up to the divorce, or during the separation, how each person is feeling etc. There's no reason you shouldn't be out there enjoying yourself. As long as you've talked about this with your boyfriend and you're both on the same page, I don't see a problem. Don't listen to what other people say, what business is it of theirs? Tell them, "That's nice, when you get divorced you do what works for you. I'm doing what works for me."

Answer 4

Stop caring what others think, it will make you feel better.

Answer 5

I don't think there is a set time for when it's ok to start dating again........the best time is when it feels right to you....forget about what all these people are telling you and do what feels best for YOU...don't rush into anything just to have someone to be with...but if you are ready to get out there and date go for it......

Answer 6

when you are truly ready to.the mistake that almost everybody makes after a break-up or divorce is they jump right into another relationship for all the wrong reasons and that relationship never really works making them hurt again.so that's why your friends/family are telling you to stay single for a while.its actually really good advice.ive been divorced for little over a year and now I'm truly ready to move on.

Answer 7

Guess you  DON"T  need  "COBWEBBS   ""!!!   You GO GIRL!!!

Answer 8

Different people different times.  When you feel comfortable and completely over the divorce start dating again

Answer 9

You go, girl.

If you feel ready, then you're ready. Dont listen to anyone else, everybody is different. It took me about two years to be fully ready, even though I did date right away. I ended up being too needy and was still carrying around some baggage. I didnt do myself any favors, thats for sure, but, if you feel good, then why not?  

Answer 10

I will say " when the door hits the outgoing party in the a$$ is soon enough"....nuff said!!!!

Answer 11

If you're over your husband, then there is no problem. I asked a similar question yesterday I think...

You're divorced, no dead, you can do whatever and whomever you wish to!!! Don't let other people tell you what you should or shouldn't do: we're all different.

I've been separated over  a year, not yet divorced, and thinking about dating again. why would I stop myself? He's living with the girl who ued to be his mistress and having a kid with her so... Why should I stay home alone miserable, when I can go out, feel good, and meet great people!

Answer 12

I have been going through my divorce for almost a year now and in the beginning I met a wonderful guy and we have been dating the whole time. I think that when you are ready you'll know. My marriage was over way before we decided to get divorced so by the time we finally filed I was ready to move on.  

Answer 13

Everyone thinks since you divorced you make bad judgments, so the common thinking is do nothing for a year after the divorce.  As a person who has experienced three divorces, I personally think it is okay to make a date as soon as the judge signs the papers, but I would not get seriously involved for at least a year,  Good luck.