When is this going to get bettter!?

Question

so i dated this boy for 2.5 years. we were so close. we became best friends and then he dumped me for a senior in highschool. (im a sophomore in college and so is he).

this happened exactly three months ago. i have gotten a little better from the initial 2 weeks (where i cried constantly and was the biggest mess ever.) but since then i have kind of just stayed at the bottom.

i'm still depressed and i feel like c**p.

so he dumped me the begining of june, i got raped the begining of july, and my best friends decided they don't really like hanging out with me anymore because i don't drink and do drugs or act like an immature ditz anymore.

so basically i am a lonely, broken hearted rape vicitm.

and it's not getting better.

i go to counseling, and it helps talking about it, but i only feel good for about an hour. then i just feel like **** again. ugh. am i super pathetic for not being over this after 3 months?

Answer 1

1 - FORGET about some LOOOOOOOSER, who, in college, dumps a real girl for a high-school kid. WAY better-off without a guy with *those* kinds of issues!

Just thank your stars for the chance to dodge THAT one.

#2 As for the idiot, drug-headed friends - see item #1 above. Drugs and drinking and otherwise acting like an idiot = LUZRs.

Just thank your stars for the chance to dodge THOSE morons.

Join a new club, team, or activity, choosing carefully - and get some REAL friends who are making REAL lives.

#3 Sorry about the rape. That sucks, but it's in the past. There's no such thing as a "victim" - unless that's the tattoo you want - and people who do that have other issues.

It's not an identity - it is a PAST-TENSE event. The ONLY purpose for having strong emotions about it - or any recurring thoughts - are for the purpose of protection - for you to have learned from it.

Cry, bawl, scream, shower - and let the emotions of it go. Keep just the useful information that will allow you to be safer in the future. Be confident of this - and - if any feelings come up remind them that their purpose has been fulfilled - You're paying attention, now - and safe.

Then, point your mind, your attention - TOWARD THE FUTURE. You've got what amounts to a huge opportunity to make yourself over in huge ways - new friends, new safety, new guy (eventually).

You get to make a whole new you!

And, that starts the moment you DECIDE whether you're facing toward an unpleasant past - or toward a new future that you get to design.

Good luck with it.

Answer 2

exactly what John said hun... its not easy being in your late teens early twenties.. Im 25 and graduated from college, working a 9-5 and stuff still isnt great.  But you know what helps, as corny as it sounds?  family.  My father and mother, and my brothers... we just get together and laugh and talk, its fun.  

Also, friends who are using your for your Lindsay Lohan style partying arent cool friends... so new ones will come along.... trust me on that.

You know what Id honestly think about doing if I were you hun?  Id think about just up and moving to a new city or town away from old friends, old past horrors (rape), etc.. and just start anew.  That's the beauty of the world, is that there is just so many places to see and live that you can tailor make your own one.   Wanted to see alaska, go spend 6 months there.... get a waitress job to start, then settle in... or wanted to see what Miami is like in the winter?  Head to Miami... you are young and now is the time!   I say thats exactly what you need.... your life will get better in time, but itll get better faster if you just put the past behind you and move on to a whole new city.