When not to help others?

Question

If someone keeps asking you to do them favours -eg, "can you get me some water" and you do favours for them, does that make you their b***h

Answer 1

I had a friend who was alays askin favours. Can I have a lift here? Can you lend me...? And always askin for advice which was always listened to and never acted on. I seem to attract people who need advice, so I eventually learned to stop being so helpful and let people help themselves. People will do what they want to do anyway.

Answer 2

hehe.. if you become their gopher, constantly doing things for them that they could do for themselves, then yeah, you're their slave...

its nice to do things for people once in a while, like getting someone some water while you're already up in the kitchen... but the idea with favors is that sometimes you do something for them, and sometimes they do something for you... if its always just you who is doing the giving, then you're their b*tch.. lol

Answer 3

no,a pawn.

Answer 4

Nope once or twice is ok but if they continuously ask you then yeah it does. But it depends who's asking obviously if it's a family member or really close friend then it won't matter. But someone you don't know, it is ok to say no or F-off.

Answer 5

Not necessarily.  Could be that they were just raised in an environment where someone (perhaps a parent) always did things for them.  Perhaps if you point out how this person is always asking you to do something, they may change.  After all, they may not be aware of what they are actually doing because it is such a natural part of their personality.

Answer 6

The test is - are you being honest with yourself.

Do you get genuine pleasure from giving all this help or are you resentful?

It could be a challenge to say 'no' occasionally, but it will be useful to know how you feel when you do that.

Of course how you say it is important, and you must declare honestly why you are not willing to help. No excuses.

In addition, saying 'no' can help others to realise that they can help themselves, so you could be improving their self-esteem at the same time.

Answer 7

If this is a family member,since you do not specifically:specify ~ it could mean this person is in depth looking for a form of attention from you,and the only way in its oddity,is their constantly asking something from you, may I suggest perhaps spending more personal quality time with the person,and help ease what could be an insecurity.

Answer 8

not at all. but don't spoil them! ^_^