When saying NO isn't working?

Question

my sister in law is having her wedding in another country. I have two kids under the age of 2. I keep saying that it will be difficult to travel with them on such a long flight, plus we would have 1 stop with a long wait.

my oldest is going through a tantrum stage.

we don't even go out to restaurants because of my kids.

my in laws keep insisting on us going and offering to pay for the tickets.

Also we will be staying with my husbands family, which i don't know well and I won't feel comfortable with them.

i will just say they have never made me feel welcomed.

they just want us to go with them because my in laws want to show off the kids.

how can i get them to stop bugging about going and understanding that i really mean NO.

Answer 1

I would flat out just say.. No.. Explain to your husband that you do not feel comfortable staying with people you hardly know. Unless perhaps there is someone else you could stay with? If they refuse to listen otherwise ignore it. Eventually the wedding will come and they will have to get over it. Eventually they will come to terms with the fact that you are just not going. Unless you could find someone to watch your children perhaps a relative or close friend? while you go this way you do not have to worry about the connection..  

Answer 2

You should only say no once. And then when they bring it up again, ignore them. Pretend you hear nothing about it ever again.

That is, if you have already explained that the kids aren't of an age to make it easy for travel, let alone for them to make "good house guests".

I suppose it they hound you enough about wanting the kids to go so they can "show them off" you could simply offer to loan them the kids, let them take them and deal with the tantrums, while you and hubby stay home for a little rest and relaxation.

Ya can bet, if your kids are as bad as you claim with their tantrums.. they'll never again bug you about any further trips.

Answer 3

dont block yourself! made yourself feel welcome, nobody can make you feel bad if you dont want to

pedriaticians have pills to put them to sleep if you are flying (im a mother too, i now how you feel the first time you give the pills to a 2 and a 4 year old...but is worth it)

is a wedding and you can make friends

but if you dont want to go tell them you are getting a boob job :D

hah! or something like that

Answer 4

You should go, you'll regret it later if you don't. It will be difficult, but you will survive. You will also gain some respect with the in-laws. Refusing to go will be a sore spot for the rest of your life with his family. They will forever throw it up in your face.