When should I allow my daughter to start dating? And should a 5 year old do chores around the house? Opinions?

Question

What do you think?

Answer 1

Of course a 5 yr old should have chores!  Every family member is part of a team and ALL team members help with chores around the house over the age of two!  Two yr olds can be taught to put their toys away, three yr olds can carry their own dirty clothes to the laundry room and so on!  the older they are, the more they can pitch in!!  Children have no business dating before the age of 16!

Answer 2

i say highschool for dating because she'll be meeting SO many more people and making new friends its hard to avoid. and if you don't there is bound to be a fight.

and a 5 year old can do small chores for learning purposes but probably not on theyre own like helping mom and dad out with small things like getting the mail and dishes and folding laundry setting the table. little things just to learn how to help out and as they get older increase the amount and capability of chores

Answer 3

as far as the dating i had to wait till i was 16 (of course i "snuck" my dates and yes my 5 year old has responsibilities around the house ( i am not a maid lol)

Answer 4

For the daughter dating thing, I'd talk to her about it. I'm in highschool, and I'm not even allowed to date yet, but I'd rather concentrate on my schoolwork anyways. Myabe she's the same. You have to make the decision, but let her give her input also. As for the chores, I started doing mine when I was six. I think anytime is a good time to get them to help around the house. Now, I just help my parents without getting an allowance. I think chores teach responsibility.

Answer 5

start letting her date around middle school and only i she is doing good in school! like b's or a's! and let the kid do work just pay him like a dollar an hour so he wont feel bad like "mom's making me do so much work for nothing how mean" make him say this "mom's making me do work but im getting good money! YAY"

Answer 6

Daughter dating im shocked she has told/asked you! Most daughters certainly would not, so assuming she is about 13/14 or more, i would repay the trust. In that way she will trust you more in the future so more serious things she will trust your judgement more. If you give the impression that your daughter musnt see boys, she will probably do it anyway, but wont trust you in the future so you will have less influence. After all, at the end of the day dating is hardly sexual intercourse, and you dont want to give your daughter the impression that you think it is.

No a 5 year old should not be forced to do chores! Unless they want to of course, but goodness making a 5 year old do house chores is terrible! Unless it is like setting the table, but as long as you do it with them that should be fine. If you can do the chores with them and if they are happy to do them, you must present them in a positive way (dont call them chores etc.), and dont force him/her and just do little bits.

Answer 7

im 16 and my mom doesnt let me date i dont really mind cuz having a bf at my age means being together maybe a month and the guys like hey where were u last night and how come u didnt answer ur phone. basically i already have parents and i dont need someone else being all up in my buisness. i have guy friends just no bfs and i dont really care, i mean i dont like hate my mom cuz i cant date i understand why she doesnt want me to and im fine with that. and ya ur 5 yr old should have chores just make her/ him? so easy stuff like make them to pick up there toys and pair all the shoes up and put them neatly near the door.

Answer 8

i would let my daughter date at 14 if she was mature maybe 15 if she was immature haha.

and yes i would give my 5 year old easy chores to do around the house. just nothing crazy, tidying up the living room, helping me with dishes, making her bed, that kind of stuff.

Answer 9

You should allow your daughter to start dating, if shes like in middle school or elementry, it doesn't mean anything. If you don't let her, she might get really angery with you.

And a 5 year old could like set the table at dinner, and change the rolls of toliet paper in the bathroom. Simple things like those are fine. Don't give her/him hard chores though.

Answer 10

i dont know about the dating

but i have a 5 year old who cleans his room. occasionally he helps with the dishes but i think its out of his league.

also he picks up toys that are lying about the house.

just simple stuff so he knows he cant get away with not doing anything, you have to teach them young and 5 years old is a good place to start.

Answer 11

My mom told me in kindergarten (lol I am not kidding, she had that **** planned out) that I could start dating boys in the ninth grade. Of course I had school "boyfriends" before that (around 6th grade) but we were only allowed to go to the movies (with our parents) or have supervised visits (usually jumping on the trampoline or once we even played house on my dad's boat with my little sister...he pretended to be married to her. I was a hermit). In ninth grade I was allowed to go on unsupervised dates to the movies, or roller skating (a parent had to drive us though). I think ninth grade was a good time. I only dated two or three guys though until I entered a long relationship (that lasted until senior year) and after about two years of dating, our parents trusted us to have sleepovers (he slept on the couch downstairs, I slept upstairs, we were supervised) and to spend more unsupervised time together. Just to be careful my mom asked me if I wanted to be put on the pill (" to help with cramps and acne" she said). Her open communication and having a plan kept me from being to promiscous or trying to move to fast, and I really got to enjoy dating without feeling pressured by s*x.

Answer 12

Hopefully these are two different kids! :-)

Yes, I do think a 5 year old is able to do simple chores.  These would be jobs like cleaning up their room (don't expect perfection!) or helping set the dinner table.  If you begin to have your kid "help out" while they are young, they will not fight it as bad when they get older.  It will be just part of life in the house.  As your child is working, keep them on task by telling them how happy them "helping out" makes you, and giving them other types of praise.  The idea of allowance is hotly debated. I gave my kids an allowance, age appropriate, for their chores.  They loved making money and putting it into their banks...then spending it on something they really wanted.  In our house, chores were never given for punishment, but they were expected and if one had a tantrum instead of say, cleaning the toys from the tub, and the other one did the chore instead, child #2 got the allowance for it.  I always paid allowance right away as an instant gratification for a job "well done".  As they get older, your expectations of what a good job is can change with their abilities and attention span.  

Now, as for dating, when my girls were little, I used the age 16 as my answer when they asked.  In reality, kids don't really date, per se, any more.  In Jr. High (7-9th grades), I didn't let them go out with only a boy...but if there was a group of kids, male and female, and they followed curfew, it was OK.  Of course I had to agree to the plans, and did check up of them (more times on the child that tended to tell lies then on the other one).

As they matured, that is when I had to think about if they were ready to "date".  Both girls were different, so one could go out with the "boyfriend" at an earlier age than the other.

Answer 13

Many of my friends and I had to wait until we were 16 to date.  I think that's fair, but I felt left out when nearly all my friends went into long-term relationships at age 15.  At that age, many girls are mature enough.  However, you must have trust with your daughter.

I think a 5 year old has the ability to help you around the house, but I wouldn't assign chores.  Suggest ways for him or her to help.  At that age, chores can seem almost fun.  That is why it's important not to discipline them for not completing chores on time or properly (at this age) because they will quickly lose interest.

Answer 14

yeah the 5 year old could but prob with you still. like helping you fold laundry and such. you dont want your child growing up too fast or resenting you with its little mind already! they just wanna be around their mom for now.

and id say highschool dating. wheverever theyre mature enough -- but wheneevre you say goes. my mom didnt want be dtaing until gr 12. i was a wild child back then tho so it was understandable.

also a little hint. if your childs a wild child too lol just because you say no to dating doesnt mean she wont do it behind your back :\

goodluck with your family! :)

Answer 15

I think that you child should seriously date around 16, but group dates and hanging out before then should be encouraged, or else she could be uncomfortable around boys.

Also 5 is a great time to help a child learn responsibility. Make sure that you are patient and loving, and give very simpe chores to start - like making their own bed, clearing the table.

Answer 16

I think you are the boss of that.

Don't rely on people you don't even know to make your mind up for you.

You let her begin dating when you know she's ready.

And a 5-year-old COULD do chores, but only small ones like making their bed.

Answer 17

im 16 years old and i was never given an age that i could start dating. most people i know dont really "date" anyways. they just hang out. not a lot of kids go out on actual dates that i know. so really i dont see there should be a certain age.

Answer 18

I think that dating can be allowed once she is in high school, but I insist that the boy comes to our house and meets both of us first. If we don't feel he's a good and responsible kid, she can't go out with him alone.

As for chores for a 5 year old - I would say no. I think they can help out with little things now and then, but I certainly would not make it something they have to do on a regular basis. Make sure it's something fun and something that you can do together, like folding clothes or setting the table.

Answer 19

I think dating should start in high school, if the people involved have their priorities straight. School comes first, and boys waaay after that, but if you set the bar too high for your daughter, she may date behind your back. Talk about dating with her, and see what she thinks. My parents have forbidden me from dating before graduating from college. Please don't do this to your kids.

I do think 5-year-old's should do chores. Light household duties should be fine, just so they develop a sense of responsibility early on. I think it's great that you're considering chores; so many parents spoil their kids, but it's the kids who pay the price when they become adults with no character.

Answer 20

if your daughter has found a boyfriend then you really have to let them see each other or they will see each other behind your back which is never good .

i think that 5 year olds should do chores i have a 5 year old and she has been helpin me for about a year now around the house nothing to much just gettin her to tidy her room or put her toys away she has started to help polish too now we make it in to a game and we spend time together and have fun at the same time and its good disaplin too

Answer 21

woah, is your daughtetr 5?  you don't need to think about dating yet.  and, dont "allow" her.  she will just rebel if you tell her a later age!

Answer 22

datinng should start at around 14 and up

and YES ofcours a five year old should help around the house.

choors like picking up stuff around the house and placing them were they belong. not too hard choirs like more of the basic type. if he does not help around than he will be more likely to be REALLY lazy when he grows up. just dont over-do it with the choirs. Also reward him with allowance

Answer 23

I'm assuming the 5 year old isn't the one your asking about letting date! Of course 5 year olds should have chores around the house. Since he/she is starting Kindergarten soon, lots of "chores" are expected of them at school. Put your chair in, clear your table, materials back into the bins, etc. Laundry and ironing, no, put your things away, yes. As far as when to let a child date, that is up to the parents and how mature and responsible they believe their kids are. I would encourage (no demand) when first going on the dating scene, it be done in groups rather than one-on-one. As long as she keeps her curfew and follows the rules, let her start the group "friends" thing, but at least be in high school. It's actually kind of awkward one-on-one when first getting to know each other

Answer 24

13 or 14 is a good dating age, but set limits, my parents would only let go to the movies or the mall and I had to be home by 9:30 (i know great dates).. I would let the 5yr old help out, but make it more fun almost a game, my 4 year old and I have a race at night to see who can clean faster, he seems to enjoy it

Answer 25

I am a mother of a 5 year old. and i think that he is old enough to clean up after himself and clean his room. feed the dog ect. nothing to hard but little things to help him start learning responsibility.  its better to start young.. in my opinion

Answer 26

16

Of course the five yer old should do chores! Mine started around two - putting clothes in laundry basket, carrying stuff for meals, etc. At five there's lots s/he can do - fold facecloths and kitchen towels; match socks; wash plastic things (my son loved doing this!); helping get things ready for laundry; some dusting....  no matter the age, everyone in the house needs to pitch in because they are part of the family. This is in addition to keeping own room clean. And don't pay for chores!

Answer 27

As for dating, I think 16ish 17 is ok.

As for 5 yr old doing chores.........deffinately!!!

You'd be surprised what a 5 yr old can do, here are some great things to start them off with.

clean up toys

clean room

make bed

put away their laundry

help dust

help unload dishes

gather trash in bathroom

ect. ect.

the more used to helping out they get the more they will be able to do, don't expect them just to know how to do things, you have to show them the way you want it done. Also don't bombard them with to many things 1 or 2 to start off with, and then ease them into a reg. routine.

Hope that helps!

Answer 28

when dating starts depends on the maturity of the girl.  for instance, i started dating in the 9th grade in fact, it was a senior.  my sister on the other hand, was in the summer of her 11th grade year. sit down and talk to your daughter about how much boys should respect her.  also remember that s*x may come up during any of her dates, make sure she knows how to say no or how to use protection.  do not let her date without it.  no parent can prevent s*x but we can educate.

as for a 5 year old doing chores, sure!  my daughter was 4.  of course, she wasn't cinderella.  we started easy like "pretend" sweeping.  setting the table, wiping the counter, drying plastic cups while i was washing dishes.  i believe you should start early.  now she is 6 and she has more resposibility which is important for her self esteem and confidence.

Answer 29

When she is in High school and only if she is doing well in school. Its never too early to teach your children to contribute at home so as soon as they are old enough to push a broom or pick up their room they should.

Answer 30

I think that when you feel ready to let your daughter to start dating, do it. Or when you feel she is responsible, and mature enough to handle a relationship, without doing something she would regret.

I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16, and it drove me crazy, because I was mature, and responsible. I got made fun of a lot too, but that part didn't bother me so much.

If she can show you that she can do all her chores, be home by curfew, make good grades in school, and has a level head, I say let her go for it. Be sure to have 'the talk' with her though, making sure she understands.

Onto the second question.

I do think that a 5 year old should do chores. It teaches them responsibility and expands their maturity.

I didn't have to do chores until I was 13 (when my mother and father divorced), and I was a spoiled little girl. It was quite a rude awakening, considering the fact that my father made me, in a sense, his 'wife'.

I think small chores like helping set the table, and clear the table, and keeping his or her room clean should suffice.

Answer 31

I started in 7th grade. My mom never let me over his house without a parent there, and vise versa.. I really think you should try to be on her side with this one. Set your boundaries, like a curfew or parental supervision.. But let her around 12 or so.. If not she will do it behind your back or only see him at school anyways, so why not be open with her, that way she comes to you with any problems and confides in you?

My 3 1/2 year old helps me with chores. Not specific ones,  but if Im cleaning up, she will help clean her toys, or shoes and clothes. I dont think its bad to have him do simple things that wont cause a mess, or hurt him. Like maybe wiping the couters, etc..