When should I tell my mom fiance and I want a baby and are going to try for one?

Question

My fiance and I want kids. I'm almost 17 and he's almost 23. Our parents are ok with us dating (as it's age of consent here is 16). We are wanting to have a baby. Please read other question for more info on that. ... Anyways

When should we tell my mom about our decision to TTC?

We've told his mom (who is alot more understanding than mine)

But I'm sure my mom will be "ok" with it...just idk...this is what I want and what he wants. We have enough money and will be moved into our own place before the baby is born...

When should we tell my mom I want a baby? Before or after?

Answer 1

Just tell her and get it over with but my opinion is that 17 is a little young to be having kids. Live life a little because seriously when you have a kid your life is nothing but about that child.

Answer 2

well i belive that you should take her out and have lunch an then you should spill the beans...

Answer 3

I think that your mother will probably be more open to the idea if you waited until you were married. Is there any particular reason that you are waiting to get married? If you are waiting until you are 18, then wait to conceive as well. That way, your mother will be more open to the idea since you are an adult and you are also married. I'm not saying that having a child out of wed lock is wrong or anything. But this country was built on Christianity and marriage would seem appropriate to most people. As long as you and your future husband are financially secure, then it is up to you to make your own decision. Good luck!

Answer 4

I am 22 and married. My husband is 27. We met when I was 18 and were engaged by 19 and married by 20. I think it is okay to get married young, ONLY if you know he/she is really trully the right one for you. But that being said, you should really think hard about wanting a baby right now. I REALLY want to have a baby with my husband right now, but we made the decision to wait a few more years, because we want this time for ourselves. Having a baby changes EVERYTHING, it really puts a huge test on your relationship. And you don't get to spend hardly any of the couple time im sure you love now. If I were you I would reconsider the baby thing for now, and just focus on getting married and spnding this time together, you are very young which means you will have plenty of time to have a baby. Just have fun with the two of you for now. :) To answer your other question, if you are going to have a baby, I think it's best just to be honest and tell your mom right away. I'm sure she will be worried about it and concerned, but their is no point in dragging it out. :) GL!

Answer 5

Wait to try to get pregnant until after you're married and out from under her roof, then you don't have to tell her not to barge in without knocking because you're trying to make babies -- just "We're pregnant!" once you are.

Answer 6

after he slips that wedding band on your finger.

Answer 7

well, since you are 17, I would say after you have actually concieved/moved out of her house.

I don't agree with anyone having a child before they are married though, so I really hope you've thought about why you want a child first.  Why wouldn't you want to get married and enjoy life together without kids for a while?

Answer 8

Get married first!

You are only 17 and have plenty of good years.  If you want to be a young mother, make sure that you are married, are in a safe, quiet and comfortable apartment and have proper resources such as health insurance and a good support network before you try to conceive.

I wish I had done things in this order.  Having a baby is so stressful.  If you do these things first, you will be able to enjoy being a mother much, much more.  Your mother will also be happier if you follow this order.

Keep close to your mother.  A mil can surprise you with controlling behavior and may overstep boundaries once the baby is born.

Answer 9

Before you bring a child into the world you really need to make sure you can raise it right. Lets just say for you money won't be an issue, even though it probably will be. Here are a few questions to think about. How much experience do you have with infants and how much does he have? Do you both work, and if so do you think you are ready to deal with having to get up for work everyday after being up all night? (because trust me some nights you won't get sleep) How will you deal with childcare? (it is expensive and you want to watch who you trust your kid with) Well I know I can't change your mind but be smart and think this completely through. If you have and you are ready then good for you bring a baby in the world and be the best parents you can be. Also just to let you know there will be times when that baby scares you to death. about your question though you should talk it through with your mom asap

Answer 10

definitely before. sit down and talk to your mom and hopefully

things will work out. good luckk :D

Answer 11

you are "almost" 17?

so you are 16

you should wait for at least coupla years so that you can work on your relationship and getting to know each other

my question is if you are using the baby to avoid making decisions about what to do with your own life

Answer 12

I would definately tell her before you concieve because if you wait until you are pregnant and tell her unexpectedly you could get a mixed reaction from her which is always hard to take when you are trying to spread the happy news. I think you shoul tell her now and get her used to the idea. I also think you should get yourself prepared a little more. Why don't you wait until after you are married??? Weddings cost money and take a lot of time to plan and it won't be easy with a little one running around. I think you should do what you want but i've been married for a while now and my husband and i concieved 6 months after we got married and while i love my family and wouldn't change it i do sometimes wish i had taken a little more time for just be and my husband to enjoy our marriage and living together for the first time. Idk just some thoughts for ya but just to let you know i told my mother 1 month before i actually concieved and her reaction was mixed but then when i actually was pregnant and confirmed the news she was elated because she had time to think about it before hand and she was really excited for me and my husband.

Answer 13

you should definatley tell her, after all she is your mom, and she is going to find out sooner or later

Answer 14

for real, you are too young to try for a baby...you should wait till you are at least 18...having a child at "almost 17"  sounds good when ur 17, but it's not so good when ur 18 and 21 at home with a baby instead of out celebrating u being a "young adult".

Answer 15

Seventeen seems a bit young to be engaged, let alone have a baby.  You're still so young- why not just hang out with your boyfriend for the time being?  Why do you need to get married?  You have so much time ahead of you- don't rush.  If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

Answer 16

BEFORE. IF YOU TELL HER AFTER AND SHE FINDS OUT THAT HIS MOM KNEW THE WHOLE TIME SHE WILL FEEL BETRAYED.

Answer 17

When she's sitting down.

Answer 18

After he marries you.

Answer 19

after you're married...for about five years.take some time to get to know each other because you're both really young and you barely know yourselves...get married first and spend some time alone and enjoy it while you can!