When should a boyfriend be introduced to my child?

Question

I have been divorced for almost 5 years. I have a seven year old. WHen should I introduce my child to a person I've been dating? I've read mixed answers online. Some say when a marriage proposal comes, some say 6 months into dating? What do you think?

Answer 1

ASAP he should know

Answer 2

Wait... When the man is getting serious about you and you about him, then a meeting is ok.

Answer 3

Boyfriends come and go.  Your child may get attached to a person who may not stick around ...then your child will be hurt.  Also it is very hard to know if this person will be good to your child. I certainly would want to get to know how this boyfriend reacts and acts under various circumstances.  I would want to meet friends and family first to see what kind of people these are.  

It is very hard to find someone to be good to your child and there are a lot of child predators out there too.  Be careful

Answer 4

between the first date and when you have s*x is ideal!

if you love someone like a child you should be proud of that child reguardless of the strings attached to it!

secrets are not a good thing to start of on a relationship!

sorry to add to your confusion but i think if your asking this then you want to tell them!

Plus why string along false hope!

why wait 6 months to find out the guy hates your baggage and leaves you and thought you were so close!  that's heart break waiting to happen!

if you do this early on then the heart break won't be so bad!  if he hits the road!

if i was looking for a mate ... and that mate didn't tell me by the 3rd date what goes through my mind is ummm wonder what else he is scared to tell me!  what if i marry him and he was scared to tell me something else!

or he is scared to say he has a STD and i get it!

communication is key!

Answer 5

I wouldn't do it right off the bat because you aren't sure that this is going to work out in the long run... I'd wait until you are confident that it isn't a short-term thing before I'd introduce them to your kid...

Answer 6

When I was 20 years old and my daughter was 3, even as a very young mom, I was very hesitant in allowing my daughter to be exposed to anyone I was seeing. Primarily, because I did not want her to be confused, especially if the person I was dating was "temporary". After four months of dating the same person, I introduced her to the man who has now played the pivotal father role in her life for the past 10 years and they adore each other!

Children are very succeptable to what they see and hear. I believe that once you feel comfortable and confident enough that your significant other has the potential to be a healthy part of your son's life, then I think it is safe. Given that you are divorced, I would just suggest that your son has a clear understanding that you and his father both decided to part ways, regardless of how the situation ended, and now, you are ready to move forward. Ensure your child that he is your number one priority and though he may not be happy and it might be difficult at first, it will work out.

It can get pretty lonely and difficult to be a single parent. I think waiting until a marriage proposal is unfair to you because that may take some time for that part of the relationship to evolve. Though I truly believe motherhood should be your number one priority, I also believe that you do not need to put your needs on the backburner.

To sum it up, there isn't a specific timeline. You know yourself and your son. Be safe and confident that it will all work out. Good luck!

Answer 7

"Experts" say that when you are sure that there is a future with the person you are dating.  This doesn't mean he has to propose before he meets your child.  When your relationship gets serious, introduce them and perhaps do a few short activities together a few times a month.  

Answer 8

Hello,

I have dated women with a child before and in my opinion, the sooner the better. See early on if he bonds or gets along well with your child and let him spend a little time with both of you together in various outings and activities.

Cheers,

Michael Kelly

Answer 9

Maybe you should date this man for at least a couple of weeks on an alone basis to give the child time to adapt to the fact that you are seeing someone. This should give you time as well to talk to the man about your child. Then, arrange a date with all of you together, to a nice park or something fun that appeals to your child, too. Try to find something that your child and this man have in common, maybe a sport or game. This might help them break the ice.

Answer 10

as soon as you start dating you should tell your kid. My mom and dad divorced when I was 9 and within 4 months my mom had her boyfriend living with us in our house. I was fortunate enough to spend part time with each parent. now im 16 and both parents are remarried and both my step parents are great. just introduce the kid to him. it will be easier later on.