When someone is going through tough time, why people once again keep advising them instead of motivating them?

Question

The person who is in trouble knows what is happening in his life and knows the solution too. What he needs is motivation & encouragement. Instead many would keep pointing at their weak points, failures and give many suggestions. At this point of time what is needed is motivation & support.

How will handle those who are in trouble (it could not any kind of trouble for example, love failure, job loss, illness etc)

Answer 1

i guess supporting them in taking action about it would be perhaps a good sollution? motivation should also come from inside yourself.

Answer 2

Turning negative troubled person traits into positive potential

* Perfectionism-They can be helped to understand what actions are needed to become happy, healthy, fully functioning human beings. They will be better able to identify and assess their progress in healing, change, and growth.

*Obsessiveness-They can be helped to channel this characteristic into a healthy pattern, so that they are "health oriented'' in their recovery process. They can be complete and exact in taking steps to increase their physical and mental health.

*Extroverted-They can convert this social skill to be a productive tool in support group work, enabling them to benefit optimally from the peer support model. They are likely to fit easily into a group feeling relaxed with highly verbal people.

*Guilt-They can convert these feelings into the motivation to reform and change, so as to no longer hurt and abuse those significant others in their environment. Guilt reduction is an excellent motivator to stay in recovery and is beneficial to emphasize as they gain in strength and personal self-confidence.

*Depression-They need help to convert this feeling as a channel of self-awareness to monitor their personal internal health as they proceed in the recovery process. If they experience a loss of energy, loss of appetite, or sleeplessness during recovery, they will know that their actions are not in concert with their own emotional needs.

*Repression of feelings-They need help to convert this behavior to address feelings. They need to learn which of their old feelings is better set aside than being pursued and manipulated in the recovery process.

*Fear of being found out-They need help to convert this behavior to a positive focus. They need to learn to be willing to take any step helpful to their change and growth process. This will prevent them from being weak, uncommitted, or out of touch with their needs.

*Fear of loss of "everything''-They need help to convert this fear into a motivator for change in behavior and attitude, so that by a "health oriented'' life they are attractive to others. This helps others to seek them out and find them desirous. This reduces the risk of "losing it all'' in their lifetime.

*Ashamed that their problems are pointed out-They need help to convert this feeling into a drive to do what is helpful for their growth and recovery. This altered feeling can lead them to encourage others to give open and honest critical feedback to ensure their ongoing recovery.

*Anger-They need help to convert anger to the tool of recovery; when it is let go of, it becomes a source of energy and strength for them.

Answer 3

People like to give only advices because they never been in that situation so won't understand other person. By giving advice they feel superior or take proud that they know more. But this advices should be in combination of motivation and encouragement.

Different people get motivated different way. Constant motivation and encouragement should be given by giving examples, listening their problems, respecting or believing them, helping them to produce interest in different subject, giving assurance that you are with them always. These are external motivations. You can help them develop self motivation by building up confidence which lasts longer.

When a person is going through mental problems, he does not want to listen advices but he wants someone to understand and expect little encouragement and motivation from him in what he is doing.

Answer 4

I guess the reason is it's easier to give advises than to motivate people especially if the person on the receiving point does not show any effort to change their failure into success.  Once an advice is given, you have dispensed your responsibility.  However, when you motivate someone, there is continuous encouragement and checking.  I guess not all people are prepared to spend that much time on another human being.

Answer 5

some people just love giving their opinion especially at times when U DON"T NEED IT. Some people are naturally....opinionated. Tell them (maybe at a time when your not so pissed) to lay off you know what you did wrong and in times like that u need support not criticism.  

Answer 6

Motivation depends on the individual. If they have the desire to change they will.  

Answer 7

Human Nature, cant get anything else even if you beat it out of them...