When to get pregnant. What do you think? Please read!?

Question

My fiance and I are getting married September 27th. We decided months ago that we wanted to wait for about 3 years before trying to get pregnant so we could be moved out of our apartment, into a house, and I could quit my job and stay home (I really do not want to leave our child) It was a great plan until my fiance and I's best friends (2) got pregnant. Now we feel lost. We want our children to grow up together, same grade and all. I was always the one pushing to have children sooner than 3 years but the plan grew on me. However, my fiance is talking about now trying to get pregnant on our honeymoon. He said he is excited our starting our family sooner. Now we are on different pages. What do you think?

Answer 1

Hey. Really you guys just need to talk it out. I understand wanting to get pregnant at the same time or around the same time as a close friends. But you have to do "whats best for you guys". And what you BOTH feel comfortable with. I think you guys just need to truthfully sit down and discuss a plan. If he wants to start trying on the honeymoon. Then hear him out... And then explain your view on it. Maybe explain to him why you would like to wait. Its very important that both of you are on the same page about this. And I think explaining to each other why you want, what you want will really help.

Congrats on the wedding coming up!!! :)

***You guys can always join in the "next" time your friends get pregnant. Thats what ended up happening for me and my hubby. A few of our friends got pregnant before we did. But we just weren't quite ready to have kids yet. So we waited until "we were ready". And somehow we just got very lucky.... because shortly after getting pregnant. We found out four of our friends (2 different married couples) were expecting as well!!!

So don't rush it... Everything will work out. And even if your children aren't in the same grade. You still get have the family gatherings... day at the park.. pool parties... etc. So don't rush it, do what is best for you guys. When BOTH of you are ready :)

Answer 2

Well, I would way out all the pro's and con's. The Saying goes " if you wait to have kids" Than you never will. No matter how hard we try we never will have everything perfect before having kids. I think that you should see if you can stay home with a baby if you got pregnant now and quit your job in 9 months when the baby comes and if its possible, than I would say go for it. Now as fas as the apartment thing goes, Babies until they are 3 years old do not take up that much room, so you could be just fine in your apartment and by the time you are ready to get into a house your child well be ready for more space. But I would want to make sure that I could stay home, that would be by biggest goal, and if you can not do that then I would wait until you can. Just a thought.

Answer 3

So...if your best friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it too? that's basically what you are implying....having a kid just so he/she can grow up with your friends kid...stick to your plan, save money, get into a house, be financially ready. good luck

Answer 4

Let your friends do the first round of babies and you join in for the second round.  Don't make a lifelong decision based on other people's timing.  You were both happy with your decision and had a good rationale for waiting.  Don't let peer pressure influence you.  Besides, the first year of marriage is tough enough without the added pressure of midnight feedings and money worries.  You've already indicated that you don't want someone else raising your child which could happen if you're not financially stable before conceiving.  Stick with your original plan.  

Answer 5

Your friends' kids and your kids will be friend anyway, right? No matter what age they are. Make sure you're financially stable enough before you jump into this one. Things just changed for you, and you should be flexible with that, but don't be hasty if the other things don't line up to equal a sensible answer. My sister just got pregnant and we had always talked about having kids the same age (like, we've been talking about this for DECADES) and now she feels awful because I'm trying and trying and can't get pregnant. Some things take a change of course for the right reasons. Good luck and have the best wedding in the world :)

Answer 6

I think it is always, always best to be on the same page. You can save a lot of resentment from one side or the other down the road. I wanted kids long before my husband did, but I knew that if he wasn't ready I really didn't want to force him. When we were both on the same page, it was a very happy time. Good luck to you.