When to have 2nd child?

Question

I'm really confused and need peoples opinions...ive got a beautiful 3 nd a half month old baby boy, i love him to bits but iv always wanted 2 children and i cant help wanting the other now so that they are close in age... but iv got some main worries, my little boy at the moment is a angel, has slept through the night since 6weeks old, and is a very content baby, what if this all changes once he's gone though teething and IF i do have another then what if the next one is REALLY hard work, I'm worried i wont be able to cope, also is it really fair, I'm worried cuz iv watched a relative have 2 babies close 2gether and the eldest's development has really gone down hill nd i feel this is because she doesn't get enough attention to spur her on, I'm scared that my gorgeous little boy who deserves the best will suffer because allot of the attention will be on the new baby. am i being selfish, i just long for another baby so much, but then on second thoughts is it longing to be pregnant or longing for another baby??? has anyone else felt like this? am i completely mad? opinions please!!! thanks for your time x

Answer 1

when your 110 years old  

Answer 2

I was wondering the same thing sometime ago, and so I did research on the health aspects of child spacing. I pasted everything I found onto a document.  Here is a copy of it.  Good luck!

Child spacing

Planning to have more children and when to have them is a big decision. It is something that you should decide together, basing it on what you want to do and your lifestyle. Raising two or three children is a big responsibility and it affects you, your partner and the rest of your family. So, before you have more children, it is important that you see yourself dealing with the problems and pleasures each child will bring to your family life.

Having children one after another (within a year) puts a lot of strain and tension on the mother. Most of the time, in these cases, miscarriages, low birth weight, and premature births are likely to happen. The mother's health may also be affected during this time because of the high demands and attention the second baby will need. Therefore, doctors suggest that you wait at least for 18 to 23 months after a full-term birth before conceiving again.

However, child spacing varies from family to family. And some mothers feel that closely spaced children bond deeply and therefore, see a benefit to spacing children close together. Many feel that they can attend the same preschool, be each other's playmates and grow up very close together. And they all agree that there is less sibling rivalry. But spacing your children close together has its drawbacks as well. Parents with children three to fours years apart feel that they can give each child more individualized attention and when there is a bigger gap, and the older sibling is more able to take care of the younger sibling. This may make the older siblings feel important.

But whatever the case is, to have children is a blessing no matter how many and when you have them.

http://www.pregnancy-info.net/child-spac...

Expert Answers

John Queenan, ob-gyn

A study in the February 25,1999, New England Journal of Medicine reported a higher incidence of low birthweight and prematurity among babies conceived within six months of a previous birth, compared to those conceived 18 to 23 months following the last baby. It makes good sense for a woman to let her body recover and replenish lost nutrients after having a baby. For instance, following delivery, the mother may be anemic because of the iron transferred to the baby and the placenta. In addition, a mother always loses blood during delivery. Having said that, some mothers may wish to have two babies close together for a variety of reasons. For those women I think attempting to get pregnant after a baby is 3 months old is probably safe, but may be psychologically daunting.

http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:1aS...

Birth-spacing improves children's health

A study in the Journal of the American Medical Association said intervals of 18-23 months between pregnancies posed the least health risks for babies.

In an analysis of 67 studies from 1966 to 2006 -- a third of which were conducted in the United States -- Colombian researchers determined that intervals shorter than 18 months and longer than 59 months increased the risk for three negative outcomes of delivery: low birth weight, preterm birth and small size for gestational age, The Washington Times reported.

Interpregnancy intervals shorter than six months were associated with a 1.4 times greater risk of premature birth; 1.6 times greater risk of low birth weight; and 1.26 times greater risk of SGA.

"Maternal nutritional depletion" is a "plausible explanation" for why short periods between pregnancies can mean harmful birthing outcomes, particularly in developing countries.

This hypothesis holds that a "close succession of pregnancies and periods of lactation worsen the mother's nutritional status" because there is not enough time for her to recover physiologically.

http://www.physorg.com/news64738192.html

Is there an ideal amount of time to wait between children? A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine suggests that parents should wait 18 to 23 months after a full-term birth before conceiving again. The average age gap between siblings in America is about two and a half years – which means that the average parent has been following this advice.

Answer 3

I think its a great thing when siblings are close in age. Personally i get along with my sister great and it has been wonderful having someone close to me going through the same experiences. While i don't know your situation i feel you should consider how you are financially, is the father in the picture,do you have other people to support you such as family. Having two kids is tough but in the end i feel its a great thing. Just remember to treat them both equally:)

Answer 4

From the words of Bill Cosby you are not a  parent until you have more than one child.  In saying this there are a lot of positives and negatives involved with parenting more than one child and when the best time is to have the second child.  

Pros to having a 2nd right away:

They will be closer in age to play together.

Raising your children close will give you the option to go through the diaper changing, bottles, formula, etc. all at once and get it over with.

Children learn from their siblings.

Cons to having a 2nd right away:

Even when siblings are close in age it doesn't mean they want to hang together as they get older., sibling still fight and argue.

You will have to change two babies diapers at and the expensive of double the diapers, bottles formula, etc.

As they get older it will be easier but when babies it will be almost like having twins and you will be tied down a great deal.

Waiting at least 2 years between children:

Pros: One in diapers. bottles, formula at a time.

Older will be more independent and you will have more time to concentrate on the baby.

Cons: Children will have a few years difference in age and may be a little more distant as children but this changes as they get older.  

This is really a choice you and you alone can make.  As for having another child causing your other to be slower developmentally: as a teacher I have noticed as a rule the oldest child is usually the strongest developmentally.  This doesn't mean they will be smart and the youngest won't.  As a parent reading to you children, giving them the opportunity to explore their environment and listening, giving them the opportunity to speak and answering their questions all teach then and help them grow.