When to try for another baby after the death of my preterm baby at 7 months..?

Question

Hi. I lost my Daughter in March. She had trisomy 13, very rare, one of those things, horrible, things. I have a Son and a wonderful Husband, I am 28, fit and healthy. I do get panic attacks but am dealing with this by hypnotherapy, which is really working by the way. This is the thing, my body has switched back to periods, 2nd of each month. I do still have some milk in my b*****s, they are still wanting my Daughter, as we all are. I have been re-evaluating life as you do when faced with death. I am stuck between going to have this wonderful independant career, or having a little flump again whilst I'm still in my twenties, able financially to stay at home. Should I wait and have another baby? My Son has the best thing I have EVER done, I don't know if I should try again, Thanks :)

Answer 1

Hi there

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my baby boy at four months to SIDS five years ago so I really feel for you and understand your reluctance to try again.

My hubby and I decided to try again immediately and fell pregnant six weeks later. It was the best thing we could have done. That longing that you feel for your baby is eased by pouring love into the new life growing inside you. Not that your new baby will ever, ever replace the one you have lost, but it does help - I promise.

Also spend lots of time loving your other child. It helps you through and he needs it. My daughter was 20 months when I lost David and she still talks about him today. They experience the loss too even though they are young.

I spent my new pregnancy decorating the nursery as kind of a tribute to David. Nothing weird - just Winnie the Pooh, but it was very therapeutic. I also kept a journal.

I hope some of this advice can help you. You can read about my story here:

http://www.creative-baby-nursery-rooms.c...

Answer 2

yes you shud try again its is highly unlikely to happen again  but there is still that nagging in the back of your mined  we have a son with ds  we decided to have another straight the way after so he had a younger bro or sister to grow up with  ... but i do think you shud give your self time to grieve for your little daughter

Answer 3

I think that you really need to explore how you feel about the loss of your daughter and how that has effected your feelings about babies. I don't think it's out of the question for you to go to talk to a therapist or counsellor... you've been through something very terrible.

If you want another baby, want it for the right reasons... not as a replacement for your daughter, but to complete your family. Although it's not something nice to think about, you also need to consider how you would be affected by another loss.

I wish you good luck and good health.