When to & when not to use 'ma'am'?

Question

At my job, I'm always afraid I will offend the customer if I accidentally call her 'ma'am' instead of 'miss'. How can you tell when to use it, is there a general rule?

Answer 1

I say you cant go wrong with ma'am not like Mrs.  Ms can get you by to.  I avoid Miss and Mrs.

Answer 2

If she's younger than you, call her miss.  If she's older than you, call her ma'am.  That's a good general rule.  

Answer 3

well i go by age ma'am was generally a baby boomer lingo so if they look over 45 ma'am but under go with miss

however the rule can be broken if your in telephone sales and cant see the person then its usually safer to go with miss as ma'am is considered an older term and usually more stern

look ma'am your not getting a refund vs hi miss how may i help you with that, miss is a lighter hart name

Answer 4

Ever wondered where Ma'am came from?  It's a sub-serviant term brought to America by the British who referred to female members of Royalty as madam which was later shortened to ma'am, and by calling a woman ma'am you are keeping that sub-serviance alive today.  It continued with the cotton plantation owners where the wife of the plantation owner was referred to as ma'am by the slaves and servants.  You are not her servant or is she somehow better than you?  Just stop using it altogether.

Answer 5

You just stay out of that minefield and use neither. If you know how to use "may I, pardon me or excuse me (followed by a question) " there is no issue. Miss? You might as well plan on getting your butt toasted.

I am not a southerner but I can see where that can be pulled off. I am man who has been a military man for years...... I look like it, talk it and a have way. So I can do it.

But even I..... stay away from any label in regard to a women. With a man the general Sir is always fine. Not so with women. So learn how to skirt the issue.  

Answer 6

Only use it if the woman has totally gray hair.  If she has gray hair then it means she has come to grips with her age and doesn't mind what people think.  

Little or no gray...don't say ma'am or miss...just leave that part out.

Answer 7

I don't know about the general rule, but as a female myself, I would rather have people call me miss even if I am a ma'am. I feel like people call me ma'am only when they are kind of mean or fed up with me. I think you'll never miss if you use 'miss'. (word play there, lol)

Answer 8

I don't know why you need to us either term.  Maybe i say this because I live in Chicago, where people don't use such titles very often so when they do it sounds either angry or fake, but I'd rather not be called ma'am or miss.  If you're talking to me face to face, it's obvious who you're addressing and so I see no need for either.  

Maybe in other regions of the country, things are different.

Answer 9

I don't know.  Generally I'll try to use Ms. instead of Ma'am regardless of the age of a customer where I work, that way you don't feel like you're calling someone old.  That seems to be the connotation that goes with ma'am.

Answer 10

Rule #1: Do not use ma'am when speaking to a man.

Answer 11

How courteous of you!  Boy, this is refreshing.......

I would eliminate it altogether and just say, "Hello, can I help you", etc.  It's a very touchy subject and today, you really can't tell how old someone is anymore.

Good for you!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 12

As a general rule, an older person anywhere from her 50's up you may use Ma"am,  They will not be insulted. Truth to tell if you if you use the word "miss" all the time.  You will certainly stay out of trouble. so I would stick with "miss" as it identifies any age.  Even a teenager.  

Answer 13

I think a good rule of thumb is to call women "miss" if they are 18 or younger and "ma'am" if they are older than 18. "Ma'am" is generally a safer form of address because it doesn't imply marital status. However, in some places it is viewed as a title for only older women, so I'd ask around to find out what is the norm in the place where you live. If you want to make sure you don't offend anyone, simply don't use any form of address.  

Answer 14

The simple rule is....you cannot please everyone.

Some get offended with ma'am,miss,madam...so unless you know their name..what term do you pluck out of the air.

Stick with ma'am....it is the more acceptable.

Answer 15

i always use ma'am unless the person is clearly younger than me

Answer 16

Here in the south the only time it is not appropriate to say "Ma'am" is when you're talking to a man....