Question:

When we all rise from the Dead, will we all be Zombies?

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If so, will God and the Holy Ghost come at us with chainsaws? And what was the deal with Jesus? Was he a zombie too?

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Read your Bible and stop smoking weed. The answer should become clear as you study the scriptures. (Chainsaws, zombies, REALLY!!!!)
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You seem awfully interested in zombies. Just for breadth, why don't you focus for a while on Martians and Klingons?
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Just shoot them in the head.
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Some even before
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Yes. Your only protection is your Tin-Foil Hat.
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the J man, also known as the living dead. J man also known to have brought the dead "back to life."

but you should worry more about the other posters at this point.
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Lazarus like. End of Days section or Armageddon section of The Bible has a passage on how the dead shall rise. So the answer is yes something of the sort would happen in the final battle between good and evil. The Bible does not discuss whether or not Jesus would have become a zombie but Gnostic Scriptures might tell such a version in place of an official one. The Dead Sea Scrolls have it Judas was not as bad as said so it might have Jesus as a zombie.
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