When will the rocking him to sleep dance end? Two opinions. And am I a bad mommy?

Question

I rock my son to sleep. I will sit in the glider in his room and rock him while I feed him. Sometimes he will fall asleep without being burped, but I put him inhis crib and so far on the occassional nights I've done that he has been fine until next feeding. My baby's paternal grandmother said that is VERY VERY bad and can choke in his sleep if I put him down without burping him first. On a lot of nights I will rock him and go to put him in his crib and he will wake up crying, so I start the rocking dance all over again until he goes to sleep all the way. I think this might be a bad thing and not teaching him to go to sleep on his own. My dad told me last night when he was here and seen me doing that, that it is fine to rock him, but put him in the crib just before he is asleep so that he can learn to soothe himself and fall asleep on his own. It's not loud cries that he does. More or less like a whine that he will sometimes do when he is barely awake, but not quite. My baby's paternal grandmother nit picks at everything I do and constantly finds fault. She is upset that we chose to do everything on our own, from not living with her and more. Ohh...one more question. I just turned 18. Both of us work and I will go to school partime (college) in Sept. We have our own apartment I have plenty of time for my son, but WE want to raise him and not depend on "others" to raise him. Does working and going to school make me a bad mommy? My baby's paternal grandmother said I am a bad mom if I work, let alone go to school. But, I like being able to buy him nice things and having our own place. Am I really a bad mommy?

Answer 1

you are not a bad mum im 17 and i dont go to school im going college next sept i would like to go but i cant im living with my mum at the moment and would love my own place you sound like a fantastic mum to me your doing your best and providing for your self my baby lacey needs rocking to sleep and will scream the place down if i let her try to go sleep on her own he just loves his mummy tell the grandmother its getting to you her nit picking everything you do i had to it really got on my nerves email me if you want to talk x

Answer 2

firstly you are not a bad mum, you are doing your best and still learning and thats what makes a good mum. its true you should always burp him just to avoid the risk of sick lumps, choking etc. and trust me dont let him depend on being rocked to sleep too often as he will expect it all the time, havea try at what your dad suggested. remember they are just trying to help. you are just doing what you think is right and theres nothing wrong with that. at least you are being responsible for him, ignore her. im almost 20 and half way gone with my daughter and already having interferences. its just the way in laws are, they just want to be involved. explain your worries and come to an agreement. im sure it will be fine in the end. good luck.

Answer 3

I never rocked my children to sleep - babies have to learn to go to sleep on their own and it sounds like yours is so used to going in a "glider" (sorry - in England we don't have those so I don't know what it is).  If you want to get any rest yourself then you should start just putting your baby in their cot to get to sleep on their own.

As for the school/work thing, you do what you like!  It definitely does not make you a bad mum!

Answer 4

Im sorry but the grandparents are wrong. your baby WILL learn to sleep on his own. I highly doubt you will have to be rocking a 5 year old to sleep every night.so enjoy it while it lasts!

and its great that you are working and going to school! tell the Gparents to shove it

Answer 5

i don't think so i think your doing great .he might be crying though because he does want to burp try buying him a toy for the crib my baby has the fisher price rain forest waterfall soother & he really likes staring at the lights he falls asleep on it but so that he'll fall asleep on his own at night play with him more in the day & keep him up more so that at night he's more tired & wants to sleep or instead of rocking hi lay him in bed beside you on  a baby blanket & he'll eventually fall asleep then you can pass him over to the crib that way he wont get use 2 being rocked...& dont worry about your paternal grandmother just do what you feel is right for your family sounds like your doing great dontever say your a bad mommy or let anyone tell you that!!

hope i helped

Answer 6

YOU ARE NOT A BAD MUMMY, YOU ARE A GREAT MUMMY.

first off a breast fed baby need not be burped if he has fallen asleep, so putting him down is fine.

look i still rock or hold my madie and she is 18 months now. i would rather a calm sleep time than to have baby crying for mummy.

sounds like granny is jealous of the great work you and your partner are doing with your baby, just ignore it. you are doing great. you mention your dad and his support, what about your mum - sorry if there is a problem there and you cannot talk to her, i don't mean to disrespect you at all.

working and school are great and no you are not a bad mummy for wanting the best for you and the wee one. i don't think you said how old the baby is, so you will need day care when you do work and go to school, you need to work out if you need to express your milk for the baby to have while you are away or if you will wait till he can wean on to cow milk. also a possibility would be to combine breast feeds at home with formula when he is in day care.

you and your boy friend seem to have the parent thing down pat - however leave the doors open should you run into difficulty and need their help - no one can do it all alone - i am 43 and still need my mum for support with the kids.

Answer 7

First of all no you are not a bad mummy at all! The only thing i have to say about the sleep is you are making it harder for yourself. My daughter was the same until i heard about controlled crying. Sounds cruel but as long as the baby isnt in pain or danger then it could work for you. It used to break my heart hearing her crying but after a few nights it worked and she was falling asleep by herself and the rewards of listening to her cooing in her cot before she went to sleep was so lovely. She was much more content after  she learned how to do it alone. And as for the college, good on you. so many parents rely on handouts for as long as they can. Just think, you are bettering your son's future by going to college. Don't listen to what others say, he is your son and you know what is best. Good luck with everything x

Answer 8

What comes up when your baby burps is air. That's going to choke him how? I'm afraid your baby's grandmother is regurgitating a mixture of urban myth and BS. If he's happy without being burped, don't burp him. Neither of my babies were ever burped.

The rocking dance? I'm afraid it ends when you stop doing it. All you are doing right now is making him more and more dependent on it. I appreciate that you need sleep and don't want baby to scream, but your dad is right. The best thing you can do is to keep putting baby down not quite asleep. Or can you put him down full awake and rock his crib gently? That way you can do it less and less until you are not doing it at all. It's very hard to wean a baby off being laid down asleep.

No, you are not a bad mum if you work and/or go to school. I'm confused as to how you plan to do both and also be the ones to raise him, though. If you're both in work, you'll need for someone else to look after him during that time. I don't think that's a bad thing, just that you are contradicting yourself.

Answer 9

I had massive problems with getting my 3 month old son to sleep.  He would just lie awake and cry for hours, then when he finally went to sleep he would wake every hour or two hours through the night and cry again!  Talk about pulling our hair out .... we were absolutely desperate for sleep!

It was a baby sleep audio program recommended by a friend that finally saved us. We followed the advice and began by creating a baby sleep routine which included bathtime, dimming of the lights, putting Paul into his crib, final nappy change and then lullabies. We also made recommended changes to his naps during the day and used some of the other recommended techniques. Within two weeks he was sleeping through the night most nights with just the odd night where he would just wake once!

Definitely start by creating a good baby sleep routine though and you could find that solves most of your baby sleep problems.

Good luck!

If you want to take a look, the audio program is at http://www.babysleepsolution.com