When would be the best time to bring up kids while dating?

Question

Ok, I'm childfree, meaning that I don't want kids, ever. If I was dating a girl for a while, when would be the best time to bring up kids?

Because I don't want to waste my time with someone who wants kids. I don't find those types of women attractive. If I have a wife, she must be childfree.

PS: Now, please don't tell me I'm too young and I'll change my mind, because I personally dislike children. No offense and personal attacks please.

Answer 1

From your remarks, it's a major issue. I would mention it in passing by the 3rd date

& in most cases

don't expect a 4th date. To women it's a major issue also.

Answer 2

you know what?i was in the same situation.i always knew i did not want kids.i have not changed my mind at 41.but i am a gal...so i pointed at divorced guys...but i´d ask on the first day...do you have kids?...or even the first day you meet her.

and i´d also ask,mhmm,why don´t you have kids?don´t you like kids?if she says well i plan to...then bye bye.just say,i ask because i never want them...just be honest and clear from the beggining.but i tell you if a girl has no kids and likes you,she may say"oh!i never want them either" knowing she can later say:ooopppsss..sorry...you will be a dad..."so either get a vasectomy or make it clear that you will not be responsable for the child and will leave her.it sounds cruel but it is your desition.i always say:you know your capabilities.why be a bad parent and a resentful one-in your case if your are FORCED to stay and raise a child you know you did not want.evidently if you meet a gal through friends tell them your wishes.there is nothing wrong with your desition.i applaud it.good luck.i had not read the advice above me.i think vasectomy is n order.make her sign a prenup saying if she getspregnant:good bye,no money.

Answer 3

i think u should just find a woman that have eggs problems and so it will be fine. good luck finding that kind of woman and it is impossible for u to bring up the childfree to a horny woman

Answer 4

Well, I guess the sooner the better, but for everyone's sake I hope YOU take the responsibility of birth control seriously and make certain your partner does the same. Accidents do happen and some women just can't understand how a man of any age could not want a cuddly little baby (maternal instincts sometimes cloud our better judgement in that area). Make certain she understands EXACTLY how you feel from the beginning and that you will NEVER change your mind.

Answer 5

Chances are no matter how early in the relationship you bring up the "I don't want kids" issue, if the woman *does*, she may just play along with you if she thinks you are "The One" as she may well assume that:-

1) In time you'll change your mind (no matter how much you protest).

2) In time, *she* can change your mind.

3) She may accidentally, on purpose, fall pregnant.

You may meet someone with exactly the same ideals as you but it's hard to say.  Maybe go to specific dating agencies that are set up for people who really don't want kids? I'm sure there are such agencies out there.

Answer 6

In my opinion, the issue

should be discussed

before she or you become

too close.  

I'd say the earlier, the better.

You both know how each

other feel about the subject.

Answer 7

When this gets to be more than a friendship,.. before it gets to the next level you have the moral obligation to tell her if you realize she has feelings for you beyond friendship and you reciprocate those feelings then you owe it to her to mention you never want to have children.. then it is up to her if she can live with that or if she will move on because you owe her the right to choose.. you have the right not to want any children but a woman has the right to decide if she wants children and if she knows you will never change your mind she will not date you again but that's only fair on your part.. to let a woman know.. maybe one day you meet one whom you like who also never wants to have children... x*x