When you're depressed & no one is supportive, does that make you MORE depressed?

Question

I go through so much daily h**l, & people bully & abuse me in all sorts of ways because I'm different. I don't have to do anything, & someone would punch me for no reason or ask me, "Are you retarded?"

I suffer OCD, Tourette's, anxiety, & depression, & I see a psychiatrist & a counselor. I had 2 strokes @ age 5. People say I look throwed off & slow. Throwed off means you have some screws missing in your brain.

I'm 25 & have a college degree, & people treat me like I'm too stupid to know left from right.

& when I try to turn to family, peers, online support groups, authoritative figures, like the cops, etc. about the abuse I receive, they always blame ME & say that I provoke people. I stay to myself, & people choose ME to pick on, for NO reason. & no, I'm not delusional or paranoid, so don't try to diagnose me. This is factual.

I hate that no one cares about what I'm going through. My own family wants me dead. They abuse me, themselves.

I hate when they blame me & say "maybe" there's something I did. & try to make me feel false guilt. I'm tired of people treating me dirty & getting rewarded for it! It drives me to INSANITY to be blamed. & people think I'm an attention-seeker, trying to play the victim to get people to feel sorry for me. What reason do I need attention when I'm 25 & a loner?

Answer 1

To answer your first part of your question, if no one is supportive of you when you are depressed, does it make you more depressed - the answer is it's different for everybody. I didn't not give two hoots whether or not I received support from anyone when I was in depression (I have bipolar disorder) because I didn't give a rat's *** about myself or anybody around me.

However, in your situation, after reading your second part of your question, I understand why you feel the way you do. You have a lot of issues to deal with - maybe some at the same time. I would like to say, even though I'm a complete stranger, that I admire you for getting a college degree at age 25, with all that you are going through. Good for you! That is fantastic!

As far as you wanting attention, I believe that maybe subconsciously you do. Why the h**l wouldn't you? If all these people in your life are accusing you and blaming you, including your own family, then yes, I would want attention too. Not the kind you are describing that your family accuses you of, but of nurturing, loving, gentle support. That is the kind of attention you really need. Those of us who suffer from a disorder or mental illness, are treated as outcasts and there seems to be very little we can do to gain healthy support from loved ones or people close to us. My own parents think I'm insane - I've haven't seen or talked to them in over 10 yrs. It hurt at first, when they rejected me, but I got over it. I now keep to myself and take each day as it comes.

My best suggestion for you would be to ignore those who are treating you badly and make a sincere effort to stand up for yourself, be independent, and reward yourself for the good things you accomplish (such as your degree). I really don't think you're "different" - I just believe you are hurt from all the abuse you've received. Here's what I do to confirm that I'm "okay". Each night at bedtime, before I fall asleep, I recall all the great things I did that day. If I don't feel there were any, I think about the great things I've done in my lifetime. And after each thought, I say to myself, "you're so beautiful for doing that", or "you're such a great friend to have". Think of things that pertain to your own life. As long as you believe other people, you are going to stay in that pain. Be an individual - walk away from people who torment you. Tell them right to their face that they have no right to speak to you the way they are. It won't happen overnight, but you'll see changes in how they respond once you stand up for yourself.

And just one thing more, QQ... if you believe that no one cares about what you're going through, you're wrong - I do.

Hugs for you ♥ ♥ ♥

Answer 2

Attention to fill the feeling of signifigant.

People are stupid, everyone is. Some are smarter in one way, some are dumber other things but that doesnt make them stupid. Everyone is smart or good at something, dont let their put downs get the best of you. I'm in a similar boat and i'll let you in on a secret. Councilling is one of the best things that has happened to me. It helps me realise that i am important and they are good support to help with my depression.

You want attention, you got attention, you should try changing your perspective and DEFINATLY go for councilling. Like i said, best thing ever