When you became a parent, did everything you ever thought about parenting change?

Question

I'm a mom,and have been for 8 years.My best friend isn't a mom yet.People constantly tell her that she'll think differently when she's a mom.She has a lot of experience with kids, and has been working with violent, abused, mentally challenged, etc. kids for years.Sometimes, I go to her for advice about MY kid!It really drives me nuts when people tell her she doesn't know what she's talking about.Granted, she doesn't know what it's like to be a mom 24/7,but that's about the only thing she doesn't know.

So, when you became a mom, did you change YOUR mind about everything you knew about parenting?For instance, if you didn't believe in spanking,did you suddenly start beating your kids?Because,I swear,this is the c**p people tell my best friend.They act like she can't say she won't spank until she's a mom because she doesn't know what it's like.I'm sorry,but she's had kids beating her up,and she never hit them. I didn't start beating my kid just because I became a mom.

Answer 1

I grew up in a family that did the  spanking thing. I vowed to myself I could never spank MY child! LOL oh how the tables turn. Its different when you become a parent. I dont believe in bringing out a belt and going at it. But I do believe a spank on the bottom when shes being mouthy does it for me. I have a more balanced view of what my child needs. Its not that you change you just begin to tailor things to your lifestyle.

Answer 2

yes it can. you might think, of being a parent is easy i just have to let them know good from bad. but when you actually have kids, it's different. they threatned to hate you when older or they never talk to you.

Answer 3

i knew lots about kids because i always looked after my sisters, so there was not one thing i did not know, but being a mum made me change so much and find out some things for myself, i think it is different for every one, some people are great with kids and Will do great as mums and some don't know a thing but learn when they have them, like the hard work that comes with kids. but there is alot of kisses too, i kinda got lost from what i wanted to say, anyway i also don't like to see kids beaten bad by there mum or dad, a little spank on the bum if they are really bold or put them self's in danger. anyway being a mum changes every thing, the way you think the way you drive. it makes you grow up too

Answer 4

Yup. One major thing- I always thought, "MY kids won't act like that" when a friends kid trashed my house, or a random kid in the grocery store threw himself on the floor over a 50-cent piece of candy. Well, lol. WRONG. Kids are kids are kids. My kids have manners, are polite and respectful, but they all have bad days, and we're usually in public when it happens. I've learned to smile at the horrified stares, shrug and say, "I always said 'my kids won't act like this' " . That usually gets at least a smirk. I've had older ladies stop me and say, "Honey, we've all gone through it. You'll live. And you might not believe it now, but you'll miss these years".

Best advice I've ever gotten.

Answer 5

It changed when I became a stepmom, but only for the better & only because I was finally taking the time to really *think* about it, instead of just kind of glossing over it as an abstract.  

I used to think that parents had to be in charge & that children were something to be trained, controlled, contained, managed.  But, once I got in there & met a child who I was, at least partially, responsible for, I realized that children are individuals with their own personal souls, experiences & feelings - and parents are there to help them learn how to get along in the world.  

I don't think you automatically change when you become a parent/stepparent or that the ideas about parenting that you had before are going to be found to be all wrong once you're parenting 24/7.  

I think that parenting ideas might change once you really think about parenting a real human being (and not just 'kids' as an abstract idea).  And, I think that, if you're really trying your best to do it right, they might change while you're parenting, as you learn & grow.

But, I don't think it's a given.  And, I don't think that anyone's ideas about parenting are necessarily useless just because they haven't given birth or lived with a child.  All ideas are worth listening to.  Some are worth learning from.

Answer 6

No, i didn't really change my mind. I have a lot of experience with babies and felt very comfortable with how to care for them. I never felt insecure about myself as a mom. My baby is only 7 months old though -- I'm sure there will be times when I find myself doing/thinking things that I never thought I would. But that's true with life no matter what, regardless of whether you have children or not. You can't always predict how you will react or respond in the face of challenges, adversity, etc.

Answer 7

Yeah I think some things I might of thought of a Lil different.

But what you want for your child is a lot diff from what you might want for family or other peoples kids

Answer 8

heck yea!! I thought it was going to easy as h**l. I use to always babysit my sisters kids and they loved me and it was great. It was easy. And my sister made it seem easy. She had 2 kids when i had my first one. She has 6 now and i have two and she is still great at it and she still makes it look easy!!! I always said i would never spank MY kids. But that changed. I don't do it all the time, but i have once or twice. I mean it is different when its you kid acting up. You always think you are going to be able to raise well mannered, well adjusted kids then WHAM they do something crazy, next thing you know you've become the person you never though you could be.  But you will never know until you're put in that situation. Ive had Friends that didn't have kids try to tell me how to raise mine, cause they thought they had an idea about how it should be done. then they had their kids and and it changed because the advise they were giving me wasn't working with their kids. So i think having kids changes everyone, most of the time it makes us better people, more caring, loving,patient,understanding, but sometimes people cant handle the responsibility and they change for the worse. Wish there was some kind of test you could take to see if you were parent material.

Answer 9

No, I never changed my mind about the way I thought a child should be raised or what they should be taught.  I was strict (not military) with my kids when it comes to certain things.  Yeah, people will tell you, just wait til you have your own kids.  I think most of us stick to our guns about the way we think we should raise our kids, but obviously, some of us don't have a clue.  But these people never had a clue about a lot of things in life.

Answer 10

Yes i mean everything changed.  our sleeping patterns our eating patterns our togetherness everything changed in my opinon for the better... having a child means that u put the child first and foremost in everything u do... we spank our boys but not as much since we found out grounding works just as good as spanking and they want the spanks over being grounded... we never beat our children we did spank them a total of 3 times for each spanking then when our oldest son hit 8 yrs old we moved to grounding and he hated that and straightened right up and said he hates to lose his priviledges and outside time cause of his attitude or school grades or whatever... now his brother is 7 yrs old ad he gets grounded and he hates it too cause he loses tv and games and outside the same as his brother... tell those people who say she doesnt know what she is talking about to grow up ...