When you had your baby?

Question

did you have instant over whelming love for them? or did that come later with bonding?

And did you have any drugs when giving birth? or do it all natural?

Answer 1

I felt an immediate sense that I had to care for and protect my child, but I still had to get to know him and become comfortable caring for him.  Every feeling was not immediate.  Love was immediate, but closeness took more time.  So if you're not feeling exactly how you thought you would, that's normal.  And yes I did have drugs with both my children.  Good luck.

Answer 2

It was instant overwhelmin love for both my kids as soon as I seen them.

I was induced and had an epidural with both of my births.

Answer 3

You are def. not alone. this is completley normal, i just read an article about it in a magazine either american baby or parenting. Not everyone has the overwhelming omg i am a mom noone touch that baby feeling as soon as the baby is born, actually the majority of people don't. (according to the article). I don't think I really did. I loved my babies when I was pregnant and when they were born i loved them and cared about them but it wasn't the total instant overwhelming love your friend talked about. i wanted to hold them but then i also wanted them down in the nursery so i could rest. now my "babies" are 5 (almost 6!) and 14 months and if anyone tried to touch them id kill lol. i am still having seperation anxiety with my 14 month old!

just wanted you to know you werent alone. oh and i had an epidural with the first, and something that i dont remember with my 2nd.  

Answer 4

Yeah, I had a lot of drugs...my epidural quit working when they took me to surgery for a c-section, and they had to knock me out completely! I was already on a morphine drip when I woke up.

That didn't have ANYTHING to do with how I felt when I saw my daughter for the first time, however. She was three hours old, and I had missed her birth completely, but I was in total awe that the little person wrapped up in the receiving blanket - wide awake and sucking on her bottom lip - was mine. I don't remember much of the first two days, but that moment...I will never forget it. It was love at first sight. Good luck.

Answer 5

I loved my baby to right from the positive pregnancy test.  However when she was born it wasn't like I thought "oh I love you so much and never wanna let go."  It was more of a numb feeling.  It wasn't until about a week or 2 later that I bonded.  I think it is like that for everyone.  Anyone that tells you they bonded right at birth is probably BS ing, not that its impossible, but it usually doesn't happen.  Now if a month or more has gone by and you haven't bonded, thats when you need to get worried.  I had a vaginal birth with an epidural and had oxytocin (pitocin) to speed my labor.  I think what helped me bond was I practiced the kangaroo care because my baby was a preemie and I breastfed him.  It wasn't until I started kangaroo care at about 1 week that I really started bonding a lot.

EDIT I am reading everyones answers and they say they fell in love instantly.  But love and bonding is different.  I loved my baby too and was protective but I think what you are talking about is that feeling in the bottom of your heart and that feeling like you never wanna let them go and they are the most precious thing on earth.  I too was overwhelmed with love and protection at birth, but didn't BOND until like 1 week later.

Answer 6

My son is 10 days old and I do feel the overwhelming love for him, but it took a while for me to feel that way. It wasn't really until I got him home 2 days after he was born that I felt that attached. But I had a major problem in the hospital with the midwives and that really didn't help.

He was born by emergency c-section after a 13 hour pointless labor, I wasn't high on painkillers because the epidural I had to have for the c-section doesn't effect you mentally.  

Answer 7

total instant love - and i had a csec.

Answer 8

Natural with both my boys and my bond with them was there long before their birth so when they came out I was just so happy to see them and hold them that i couldn't stop staring at them.

Answer 9

I think mine started before she was born and came full blast when she was born and continued to grow and grow and she gets older.   I had an epidural that worked all the way through the delivery.

Everyone is different though and it's perfectly normal not to feel that bond right away.  Your daughter in the picture doesn't look brand new, so I'm not sure if you're asking because you're not feeling the bond yet, or just curious.  If you're not feeling it yet and are feeling at all depressed I would talk to a doctor because you may have post partum depression.  Which is also normal but you should seek help for it to make sure it doesn't get worse.

Answer 10

The overwhelming love was instant!

I've had one birth with an epidual, and one all natural.

Answer 11

for me it was a natural bond that developed the whole way throught the pregnancy till the moment i had them

but for some people, like those who fell pregnant unexpectadley or had a hard pregnancy and thongs like that it can take some time for the bond to be there

i had no drugs during my labour but i dont think that would make a difference to the bond you have with your baby

dont feel bad if the bond isnt instant im sure you love your baby just as much as anyone else

Answer 12

I had an epidural when i had my daughter and even though i loved her and was looking forward to meeting her it took me about a week to become incredibly close to her and over protective. My husband took care of her for the first week i fed her of course and held her but she slept in her bassinet. After that week she was in my arms for about 6 months lol. I feel bad admitting that but i think i was scared at first..

Answer 13

I had epidural with one and no pain releif with the other.

With baby number 1 the overwheling love thing took its time. I was very depressed.

With baby number 2 it was overwhelming from the second she was born.

Answer 14

Hello I have been a neonatal intensive care nurse for over 25 years and is very natural for your bonding to occur sometimes days if not weeks after the child is born. Breast-feeding releases hormones that will help facilitate the bonding process.

I remember with my second child.   I provide care for him and loved him.  But that deep-piercing maternal bond or "mother bear" feeling was not prevalent yet. Less than a week after I gave birth, as I recall (he is 19 years of age now) I was in our local Stater Brothers, picking up some pacifiers, and he was asleep in the shopping cart in front of me.  I looked down at his angelic face and within split-second, that maternal bond hit me like a bucket of water.  That animalistic feeling of I'll ripped the eyes out of some body's head, is somebody would try to hurt him, kind of bond .  So I just like to assure you it is perfectly normal for your bonding process to occur days and sometimes weeks after birth.  However, if you have not noticed that maternal bond within a month I would definitely seek help from your gynecologist. Studies have shown, the hormone oxytocin has helped drastically with women and men who have bonding issues.

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Answer 15

instantly overwhelming love no doubt!!! I had an epidural but it wore off about an hour before i started pushing, after i saw my son all my pain was instantly gone!

Answer 16

I had a c-section & had an epidural i had to have one cause i cant handle that kind of pain at all + i get Anxiety so it would have freaked me out even more i started to get really nervous when i was getting labour pains so they gave me an epidural & i didnt fall in love with my baby straight away probley a week or so before i started all the worry of them & loving them & stuff like that im not saying i didnt love them at all when i first seen him it just didnt show straight away i guess.