When you hear foster parenting..what do you think of?

Question

I have been a foster parent for a long long time and I hear so many things..One major is we do it just for the money!! I dont speak for everyone but I do it because I love the feeling I get when I help kids. I love my job and Not many people can say that.Can you? I can spend everyday with my kids and I dont have to miss out on everything, Btw the pay isnt that good, I have the kids that are very troubled,,they damage my house and do the strangest things but I dont care, atleast I dont give up on them and throw them away like they are garbage!!

Answer 1

I can only draw on personal experience as a adult survivor of foster care.  i call myself a survivor for a reason.

The first foster home I was in was raided by the police a few months after I had been placed.  Turned out dear old foster dad was raping my 4 yr old foster sister in the bathroom, just like her dad did prior to her being placed somewhere "safer."

I was placed in another home on an emergency basis where our foster mom had an adopted daughter, she was mentally disabled, borderline, and her mother used her as slave labor.  She went to the cops one day after school to turn her in, the cops brought her back home, that night is one I will NEVER forget.  They also had a very large kitchen with two very large cupboards, one for the "family," stocked with everything you would think a family could have foodwise, the other was stocked for the "fosters," stocked with a bag of potatoes, kool aid, and ramen noodles.  We got nothing else, ever.

I know not all foster homes are like these two, but when I think of foster parenting, this is what I think of..

Answer 2

When I hear foster parent I think of low life's who take in kids for a government check.  The reason I think this is because how many horrible people are in the system.  I saw a show on it years ago and kids were talking about the horrible things that happen to them in foster care.  I think that they need to do some SERIOUS background checks on people who want to have kids starting with credit checks for financial problems.  I also think that the adoption process should be government paid so that it is easier to get kids into permanent homes.  

I obviously know people do it for the right reasons but unfortunately I think they are the minority today.

Answer 3

I worked in childcare for 8 years and I've seen ONE great foster parent and more horrible ones than I can count. As sad as it is I think most- not all but most DO do it for the money. I've seen people who have taken gifts their foster children have received and given them to their own biological children or returned them and kept the money, fed them nothing but cereal for breakfast and dinner. I've seen a 2 year old foster child fall down and land on his head and the foster mother say "Get up, you're fine." when he was hysterical and obviously in pain. I've had a foster mother tell me that she was potty training a 2 year old (the first day she got her because she didn't want to buy diapers) and was making her sit on the potty until bed time- even eating on it- because she kept having accidents- obviously wasn't ready, especially right after being ripped out of her home. I could go on and on- these aren't even the worst stories, just enough to show how uncaring and stupid they were. That saddest part is that when these kinds of things are reported there is rarely anything done about it. There are some loving, caring foster parents out there but from what I've seen they're few and far between. It would be a cold day in h**l before I ever let someone I care about end up in the system.

Answer 4

i was a foster child from the age of 13-18, and can honestly say that you get good and bad foster parents.

My 1st set of foster parents were terrible, drank to excess and smoked drugs in front of us.They locked the front room and kitchen at nigh, so we couldnt eat or drink after bedtime.

I came back from school one day to find all my bags packed and on the front garden-they had decided to give up fostering, and didnt think it was important to tell us foster kids.

The 2nd set of foster parents were absoloute angels, and i cannot speak highly enough of them. they welcomed me into their home, and treated me like a part of the family. It is foster parents like this that restored my faith in foster parents.I love my FM and FD to death, and still speak to them 3 times a week on the phone (even though i am now a 28 year old mother!).

Well done for doing this, i can say from personal experiance that you have no idea how much your safe secure loving home means to an abused/neglected child.

As long as you know why you foster, to h**l with the people that think its just for the money, they have no idea!

Answer 5

Here's the thing...If I were going to do something for the money, it sure would not be take care of kids!  Taking care of kids is 'way too hard for what they pay for foster care!  If folks are taking care of kids for the money --- they are NOT taking care of the kids!

Folks like yourself are exceptional!  If there were more -- lots more -- like you, then there would be no problems with the "foster care system."

Keep up the great work!  My prayers are with you!  You're the best!

Answer 6

I think of a person or couple who love children so much that they're willing to open their hearts and homes to help ensure that children know love and trust and security when they may never have before.  That's an amazing gift to give a child.  I know for a fact that the money is JUST enough to cover feeding, clothing, and maintaining a healthy child, and it's not a salary.

Answer 7

I think foster parents are amazing, I don't think people really understand all the things foster parents have to go through. they get the violent kids, the distant kids, the kids with no where else to go. Foster parents can often times make a child's life so much happier if only for a shorrrt time. good for you:] don't listen to people that say its just for the money, they don't know anything

Answer 8

When I hear of foster parenting, I think of very selfless people who have unlimited love and kindness.  People who truly have a compassion for humankind and the future.  Never once have I thought foster parents did it for the money.

Answer 9

Foster Parents = Pure Love

Answer 10

- I think there is a lot of IGNORANCE caused from bad media hype and gossip. Yes there are a few bad stories just like there a bad parents. But do you hear the stories of the good parents?  

  The thing that angers me is that all this bad publicity discourages good families from getting involved and not wanting people looking down at them, because they don't hear the hundreds ( dare I say thousands) of success stories. This is the one way of making a difference in these childrens lives one person at a time.

Instead of complaining about the problem what are you doing about it!

  I have been a foster and adoptive parent for 7 years. My family loves these children while they are in my home and sometimes it hurts when they leave. To hear people bad mouth foster families because of ignorance or isolated instances can get discouraging. Like the lady that saw it on TV or the bbsitter who knew a few, well they wouldn't see the stay at home moms, like me, that love these kids as my own.

   So I have a challenge to those that think this system is flawed. Get involved!! Try this for yourselves or you will be leaving this for others to fix and you have no room to complain. If the good people don't do foster care and bring these kids into loving homes, than who are you leaving it up to, they have to go somewhere.

Answer 11

I think of people who care. Not many people have the patience to do what you do. Keep making a difference!