When you lose a loved one or a close friend, how do you hold it together?.....?

Question

i personally haven't lost any loved ones or close friends yet.

but when i see the video for "these are the days of our lives" by Queen, it amazes me how the band managed to keep it together and not burst into tears all the time. presumably, they would of known Freddie was on his way out.

I think i would of had tears streaming down my face constantly, and probably just getting really angry all the time.

psychologically, how do you deal with it?

they must of been extremely close, like any friends or families.

Answer 1

Let the tears flow.

It is natural and therapeutic.

Answer 2

I've lost some very close family and friends. I always tend to wander round doing weird things and drinking too much. I guess that's not really coping though.

A lot of the time, you do what you have to do. You never get over it, you just learn to live again

Answer 3

You think about all the happy times you've had with them and nothing else. Don't get angry at the person for dying and make sure you let it all out to some one. Whatever you do do not hold it in.

Answer 4

i have lost 3 friends and a loved one. it was really hard for me to deal with it. i miss them all very much to this day. but i dealt with it my own way, i drank alot, didnt eat and  tried to keep busy. people deal with this in many different ways. but i had to come to terms with what happened. its not easy but you get through it in time.

Answer 5

I would become friends then u make the big move if U haven't but if U make the big move and U  have done it before in life then OOO man U R gunna get a slap in the face So if has gone and pass just keep it friend if things aren't going well!!

Answer 6

The closer you ar to the deceased the more detached you are when they die.   You cope with it by going into over drive and detaching yourself, and save up the moments of thought for when you are alone - otherwise it would be disastrous and you would be a total wreck.  You learn to be strong.

Answer 7

I would just cry a lot on the day they die then a bit on the days/week after, and think about them occasionally but i wouldn't really cry unless i thought about my memories with them

Answer 8

I found I could keep it together if I was prepared.  For example, visiting places we used to go - I would prepare myself for feeling sad.  It was the unexpected that I had trouble dealing with, for example hearing music we had both liked.  I remember driving to work, listening to the radio and hearing one of our favourite songs that had played a big part in our relationship and just having to stop the car and cry.  When someone close to you dies you go through a range of emotions, sometimes I felt quite angry and other times very emotional and lost.  But it is true that time heals and brings acceptance.

Answer 9

i could hold it together most of the time, but i would let it all out when i was on my own.

pain will never go away, but time helps

Answer 10

I don't know holding it all in is one of the harder things I've had to do. I feel like I have to be strong for everyone else around me, and I think of how thankful I am to still have others that I love and care about. It is still difficult but life goes on.  

Answer 11

You cant always hold it together sometimes its just better to cry it out. its part of the mourning process. and its true time heals wounds.

Answer 12

When my dad died I cried for him. talked about him. got mad at him. and for a while I would just say he was not really dead. that is where I am now. I feel he is not really dead. not the best way of handling it.

But my daughter needs me to be strong for her. so I am telling myself to hold off on feeling anything for now and when the time is right then I will admit he is dead. stupid way of dealing with it but it works for me.

My Dad passed away on June 24, 2008 and I did Love him. God Bless

Answer 13

sometimes you don't really 'deal with it' you just try to be strong and put on a front

Answer 14

I read my bible Ecc 9;5 and just search through the psalms, Also it is important to have someone near because it is hard to be alone and grieve sometimes, you can only greive so much and have to break it up by talking or just listening to others talk, try to keep your hands busy, by writing, playing dice or solitare washing dishes anything to keep you from being totally out of it, It's not easy, and time will heal you, and even remember God thinks you are worth something and doesn't want this to happen anymore then you do.