When you were, or will be in labor?

Question

hello. just out of curiousity, weather you are previously experienced, or have a labor coming, did or do you want family around the hospital, or did/will you wait to call them at a certain time like after baby was born, and also, did you want to or do you want to let people hold your baby? just curoius how others feel abou the situation. lol. blessings and thanks

Answer 1

With our first child,  my husband told his boss he was leaving work early because I thought I might be in labor.  His boss must have told everyone he knew.  Our phone rang nonstop, the entire labor and delivery.  Everyone wanted to know if the baby was born yet and kept calling to check; my mom was on the road alone,  coming from out of state, so we had to answer.  We left the door unlocked for the midwife and had neighbors walking down the hall.  It was awful.

Now we don't tell anyone, even family, when I go into labor.  It takes the pressure off.  We take our time, hold our baby a while, then call our parents.  Everybody else, pretty much, hears through the grapevine.  Hurts people's feelings, but shouldn't, since we neglect almost everyone equally.  

It's not about them.  Our baby is not a toy and she isn't theirs.

I have been around too many grabby people.  I don't like people asking to hold my baby.  If and when I want them to, I will offer.  I prefer that people wait until my baby reaches out for them before they ask to hold her.  Otherwise, If they want to hold a baby, they should have or adopt their own.  I know that sounds cold-hearted.  Thing is, there are a lot of needy people out there who don't think about the baby's needs, just their own.   There are also people who don't want to return baby when she's fussy, trying to prove their ability to care for a baby.  Again, they aren't the parents and if they were really caring for the baby, they would hand her back.

Of course, you can be polite sometimes, if you want.   We talk about how our doctor said nobody but immediate family could hold the baby, that baby would be hospitalized with a spinal tap if she developed any fever in the first couple months.  I would hang signs on the door, saying baby is sleeping, then forget to take them down.  I would go out of town.  I would not answer the door.  I would wear baby in a sling or let her dad hold her (He says no better than I do.)  People who would get offended are, quite likely, the people who are needy.  And frankly, I don't need friends enough to trade my child for them.  

I hope you are around healthy people and don't have to deal with the dysfunctional people we have met over the years.  All I know is that I would rather have regrets for protecting my child too much than not enough.

Answer 2

I was scheduled to be induced, but my water broke the day before so everyone knew I was going to be having the baby soon, so when we called they just waited to come until after the baby was born since it was night time. My mom and husband were there for the delivery and then family came afterwards. After you have your baby your feelings change about letting people hold the baby and such. I didn't mind people holding my baby too much. . I just didn't like it if they had been smoking or had a strong scent of any kind.  Everything feels like  a dream, lol.

Answer 3

for me.. I wanted some people around but when it was happening.. I hated everyone.. LOL... And no .. I didn't let everyone hold the baby, it's kinda like a mother thing.. it's yours and you don't want anyone to have it.

Good Luck.. go with your Gut it will not lead you wrong.

Answer 4

When I thought I was going to be delivering naturally, I wanted to have my husband, my mom, and my sister in the room for the birth.  After the birth, my father was welcome to come in as soon as I was decent (there's just something weird to me about my dad seeing that area of my anatomy!).  However, I ended up having 2 c-sections with my children and so only my husband was allowed in surgery with me.  When I was taken back to recovery, my whole family (mom, dad, sister) was there, along with my pastor's wife (a very good friend of mine) and a lactation consultant that I had hired to be there to help with the first nursing sessions.

The only people I specifically did not want to visit me in the hospital were my in-laws (because there is mental illness in the family and they actually pose a potential threat).  Most people waited to visit us after we got home from the hospital.

I was totally comfortable with people holding the baby as long as they washed their hands well.  I think it's good for everyone(including you, and the baby) to get to be a part of his or her first moments :)

Good luck and blessings to you and your little one :)!!

Answer 5

umm im got my partner coming with me. my mum is my main birth partner and my dad will also be waiting with my partner .

Other than that i dont want to many visitors i want time to get to no my baby and rest. im getting bit anxious about the birth . cant wait to hold baby for first time .

IM  32 weeks not to much longer .

Answer 6

When I was pregnant I thought it would be such a FABULOUS idea to have people I love dearly surrounding me, but I was absolutely mistaken. They ALL (except my dear hubby) drove me nuts!!!! Kicked them all out of the room. Afterwards I did let a few hold my son, but only a couple.

:)