When your ex has an affair?

Question

My ex had an affair, 2 months later the guy dumped her and we later divorced and when we talk which is rare she asks about being friends and communicating. Her son is 20 my stepson and he lives w/me but he gets along with his mom. But one day she asked me if iI was over her and I said no and don't know if I ever will be cause at the time she was making me feel that we would be together someday possibly so I still cared about her then a few weeks went by and I asked her the question and she didn't want to answer so I finally got her to answer and she said she was over me. It makes no sense how she acted, she said things like who knows down the road sometimes people do get back together so I thought she still cared and so I was on a roller coaster w/the things she said. What was she doing to me ?? Do you think she meant that we may get back together ? Or was she full of it? Do you also think she was trying to lose her guilt for what she did and thats why she wants this friendship?

Answer 1

My personal opinion is that I think she needed a back up plan in case things didn't work out for her. And that back up plan was you. Sorry to hurt your feelings. I don't want you to feel any worse then you do right now, but I think she was using you in case things didn't go well with the guy she had an affair with or if she didn't meet someone else. you don't want a relationship with someone who cheats on you do you? Why should you have to put up with that kind of treatment when theres plenty of woman out there who DON'T CHEAT!!!  No one deserves that kind of treatment. I HONESTLY BELIEVE SHE IS USING YOU. because she knows you still care about her. Get away. Go find someone that will love you the way you want to be loved and deserve to be loved. GOOD LUCK. Kick her to the curb!!!!

Answer 2

Shes still playing you. Tell her no. All she is doing is having her back up plan. She stepped out of line, got busted, lost her marriage, and now wants her back up.

It will only happen again. She says she is over you, but that is so she wont put herself in a vulnerable position.

She wants to be friends so as to cull the guilt she has. If she can be friends with you she will feel as though what happened wasn't that bad.  

Answer 3

If you weren't over her, you shouldn't have divorced her.  You'll have to live with your knee jerk reaction now.  

Answer 4

Whya re you still messing around with this treacherous, trifling Btch! Learn from your mistakes man, it's a character flaw that the woman has, at this age it aint getting better.

Answer 5

She was simply playing games with your emotions, whether intentionally or not. She never meant the two of you would ever get back together, she just wanted to see what you would say. Leave her alone...she is BAD news!!

Answer 6

She was using you as a safety mat and the guy dumped her so she used you to build up her self esteem it feels good to be wanted even if you don't want that person stop letting her use you close the door. Be friends for the boy but give her nothing else.

Answer 7

She sounds immature. If you were apart and were divorced eventually then it's over. Sure there's cases where people remarry later, but it's very rare. She said these things because she sees you moving on and she isn't able to pull her life together yet. In other words she's probably an emotional mess right now and using you to pull herself back up, probing for your feelings to make herself feel better. She IS on a roller-coaster.  

Answer 8

She is on the roller coaster too. She probably feels guilty to a point. She is having second thoughts and was trying to feel you out. She may or may not want you back so don't put your heart into her yet. Give yourself some time and if you want to make an effort with her keep the lines of communication open, but take it slow and remain uncommitted.