When your son is allready grounded and then gets suspended from school, what form of punishment is right?

Question

Our son is 9 (3rd grade). He's a good kid and gets good grades. We have noticed the past couple of weeks he has been acting out and lying about "little" things. Like saying he brushed his teeth when he hasn't or has done his chores and he hasn't. For this we have been addressing those by warning him that lying is not ok and that if it continues it will lead to a punishment. Also a couple of weeks ago on his "weekly" progress report he had a D- in reading. We warned him that he needed to bring the grade up or this would lead to a punishment. The next week he had another D, and we told him this was his last warning and that next week if he still had a D he would be punished. This week we could clearly see that he erased the D, and when we asked him about it he lied. So, we took away TV and video games all week. He hasn't been grounded in over a year. Today he was suspended from school for fighting. What do we do now? He's allready grounded! He's never been suspended before.

Answer 1

When ever I got suspended my mother got me up at the same time as school and I had to work all day. don't let him sleep in and just waste the day doing nothing. Make it so being suspended is worst than going to school. maybe its time to take all privileges away and make him earn them back, one by one. Just being grounded doesn't work because he'll just sit and play games or play on the comp. Take everything and make him earn something back.

Answer 2

I'm no psychologist, but I know enough to figure out that something beyond the ordinary has happened to your son, and he doesn't know how to handle it.  Take him to his doctor ASAP and have him fully checked out, particularly for signs of abuse.

Answer 3

he gets bored being good all the time as you say and want to try the "wild side", just guide him and let him be a kid, after all he is only 9 yrs. old.. which only comes to everyone once in our lifetime and once it past us by it will never come ever, ever, again.....so let him enjoy every moment of it.

Answer 4

If he has basically been a good kid and gotten good grades up to this past couple of weeks then some change is going on. First see what is going on at home that might be bothering him- fighting at home? changes? Then if nothing is going on at home then check at school? Bullying? Teacher not paying enough attention? Not getting the help he needs on his schoolwork? You need to set up a conference and figure this out before it gets out of hand.

You should take the time to sit down with your son and just let him talk without yelling, without getting upset, etc. Just ask him calmly what is wrong? If there is anything bothering him?

Why was he fighting? Who started it and what was the cause of it? After all your questions have been answered then he can also help in deciding the punishment too.

Children at this younger age tend to not know how to handle situations when they arrive, don't always act upon them appropriately- this they need to be taught, Don't always go to the Teacher for because of bullying, they can't always express their feelings because they don't always know why they feel that why or why they do the things they do. It is trial and error. Just think back when you were a kid and the stupid things you did without thinking or knowing.

Give him a chance to talk.

Answer 5

Let me see if I have this right, he has  been lying, made bad grades, fought, got suspended, and he is a "GOOD' kid?

What constitutes a bad kid?Never mind.

Spank his butt THEN ground him for lying and not doing his school work.

Then find out if he started the fight or was defending himself.Never discipline a child for defending themselves especially in public school where they have little to no protection from being bullied.

If he started the fight add some more time to the grounding and warn him he will be spanked next time, and make him apologize to the kid he started the fight with.

Then you see what he is failing in and WORK with him on it, get him a tutor if he needs one.

Answer 6

well that child is misbehaving! what my parents did is threaten to send him to a farm to work during the summer if he didn't get good grades and do good in school

Answer 7

the punishment could be extended or a warning of extension could be given.  Also, maybe he does not understand the homework or needs help.  try sitting down with him and helping him along with making sure he has finished his homework.

Answer 8

i think that instead of grounding him, you need to talk to him. he appears to be doing really bad, he might be depressed or worried about something, you should sit down with him and talk, figure out if there is any problem to work it out or if he is simply at a rebellious phase