When your toddler throws a fit it public do you ignore it?

Question

Normal two year old with normal temper tantrums. In the grocery store and here comes a tantrum, what do you do? Ignore the behavior, and the stares from others? Appologize to those around you for the intensity of the noise? Some advise on what works the best...thanks!

Even though i think ive timed nap/snack/boredom/etc. tantrums arise and i attempt to scold and then redirect but when that doesn't work i simply ignore it and go on about our shopping trip smiling at all the jerks with no kids who stare and comment. Its obvious we have to grocery shop, i wouldnt proceed if it was any other shopping. But is this what you would do? What works for you when a tantrum rears its ugly head??

Answer 1

You have to teach a child. The parents are the first teachers not the preschool teacher. Whatever behavior you accept or allow at home is the same behavior you will get in public.

You don't get something for nothing.

And don't go shopping at nap time go in the mo ring. No child wants to be in a boring store when they are tired.

Answer 2

I would just give a quick pop on the bottom or smack on the hand and tell them to hush. most 2 years olds can understand that. after that, just ignore it. all kids do that to their parents at some point, and most people in the store have been there before too.

Answer 3

Stick a sock in it.

Answer 4

Once the tantrum starts, pick up 2yr old and walk out of the store.  Smile as you walk out.  Leave the groceries behind, take 2yr old home and go back to the store alone.  My kids only threw one tantrum each.  After I did that...they stopped the tantrum throwing.

Answer 5

Remove it from the store. Once home make him sit for an hour. If you strike it in public, some left wing ideologue pro-evil budinsky will report you to the police. That is the real answer. The police is dominated by criminal lovers who do not want any form of discipline administered to children.

Answer 6

Wow, I can't believe some of the answers on here! Obviously some of you have never even been around a child, tantrums are not a result of a bad parenting or an out of control child - they are normal for toddlers.

I was going to provide my own answer but I think Kiwi Mom summed it all up beautifully!

Answer 7

I would love to answer this. When I look back on my early years as a mother, there is only one incident where I want to hang my head in shame for "not being there for my child". We were doing Christmas shopping in a very busy shopping center and in hindsight I think it was too overwhelming for her (she was about 21 months old). She threw the biggest tantrum ever. I took her to a less busy part of the store (past all the staring, uncaring people) and just let her kick and scream it out. I felt ashamed - at that time it was more about me than my child. The moment we left the store, she calmed down and became the angel child I know. Since that day, I have looked at tantrums differently.

1. Don't get bothered by others - you will never see them again. Don't apologize, unless it happens to be your boss staring. Friends and family should understand. The rest's opinion simply do not matter. Your child comes first - always!

2. Take your child to another area "away from it all". At home, we simply would lay our child down in a quiet, safe spot and let her scream it out. At a store, I would walk outside and once she is calm talk to her about what I expect. If you stay in the store, you risk just being more upset by uncaring people who feel nothing for you or your child. (Just read some of the other answers to know that - imagine another wanting to spank your child and getting thumbs up for that).

3. Always go prepared - make sure the child is fed and rested etc - just as you mentioned.

4. Yes, for those less informed: A tantrum IS a NORMAL part of childhood. Definition:

A tantrum is a normal and expected response when something interferes with a young child's attempt to gain independence or to master a skill.

Please read the link:

http://children.webmd.com/tc/temper-tant...

Thanks for asking - you must be a good mother.

Answer 8

my mom ignored me when i threw fits in stores. she just kept walking and eventually i stopped crying because she didnt give into me when i cried

Answer 9

No! Then they will think it is alright!

Answer 10

Sunshine, you are seriously an IDIOT and that was the worst answer possible. Do you have any kids? I really hope not.

Steph. I wish I could help but I am going through the same thing my self with my 14 month old.  good luck :)

Answer 11

I was lucky enough in my three older children a four year old girl and three year old twin girls to get two major drama queens in my oldest, Mariella (mia) and one of the twins Lyle.

Specifically Mia throws a fit whenever she wants attention. She has good days and bad days. Sometime she'll go a week without incident and then she'll be crying and throwing herself on the ground and screaming the whole nine yards several times in one day. She is four and this still goes on. She has gotten better and now i can usually get her to stop if she gets really out of hand with threats of revoking privledges. Not being able to go to dance class has worked. Also now that she is older I can begin to sense that she is about to break down and sort of warn her not to start. Ignoring is really the best policy in attention based or "get my way" based fits.

It the child is actually upset about something legitmate the best thing for me has always been to just get them out of the situation. Away from whatever is upsetting them, and give them the chance to get over it in their own time. Good Luck.

Answer 12

I ignore my daughter's.  People are going to stare, but more of them will understand than not.  

They do it to get attention and to manipulate.  By not reacting to it, you are basically taking the "gratification" away from the entire thing.  If there isn't a payoff, then why do it?

Answer 13

No I don't ignore it when we're in public.

I've got a 2 year old that can be fed, rested, and happy as a lark and can still start in with a tantrum. Some kids get overwhelmed and it certainly doesn't help when there are oddballs who desire to spank your child (what a bizarre answer).

I usually do my errands on the day when my daughter is in pre-school or on the weekends, but obviously we do have to/want to get out during the rest of the week. If she starts whining, crying, throwing a fit she gets one warning - I tell her calmly to stop it or we will have to leave. I tell her no one, including me, wants to hear that and we don't act like that. If she doesn't stop it immediately we leave everything and walk out the door and head for the car. I don't take her home because that is often what she wants and if we're out for something we actually need this doesn't help me. We sit in the car until she calms down and then I ask her if she's ready to go back in. Once she agrees that she is calm and ready to go back inside we do. I don't have problems after that. We have had a couple of incidents where we were someplace where it wasn't so simple as just walking out (like the zoo - it's  a long walk to the exit). In that situation we simply go to a quiet place and sit down for a while until the moment passes. We have had to leave once or twice. It can be embarrassing. Most people look at you with the "I've been there" look, but a few childless people will give you the "what the heck is wrong with your kid" face. I just ignore it. It happens. Kids get overwhelmed, overstimulated, overtired, and everything else.

Answer 14

I think people who let their kids scream in public are the real jerks.

If your kid can't behave, don't take it out.

You need to punish the kid or take it out to the car, no one wants to hear some brat scream, sorry, but it's the truth.

I wish it was legal to spank other peoples' kids in restaurants and such when the parent does nothing to discipline or end the insane screaming and crying that annoys and angers all the other patrons.

Answer 15

I am honestly so tired of people at grocery stores acting like they've never had their own  grumpy toddlers before. Let your child scream. We do. Or if my husband is with me, he takes the grumpy one out to the car. Try not to let the stares bother you. This stage will eventually pass.  With our son, we always took a favorite toy or even a bribe works before you go in the store. There is nothing wrong with a small bribe every once in a while to maintain your sanity. Good luck.

Answer 16

"NORMAL" tantrum.!?!?!?!?!?  

What to do....the first time they have a fit, you take them out of the store....Next time...."Do you want to leave again?"  And they are probably not only having tantrums out in public....teach them at your home what behavior you will accept....NOT HARD..unless you are a lazy parent..give in because it is easier....LIKE MOST PARENTS NOWADAYS.....TAKES EFFORT AND TIME..HUGS!!!!  

Also consistency......its your job to teach tehm right rom wrong..HUGS!!!

Answer 17

Yeah, I would ignore it (and have).  If you take them out, they may start to learn that all they have to do to get out of there is throw a tantrum. If you give them more attention, they will continue to do it. So, yeah, ignore. Ignore the stares.  Actually, I've had older ladies congratulate me for not giving in to the child's tantrum and also some people who give you the whole "if you can't control your kids, what are you doing here" sort of looks, but whatever.  You don't have kids to control their actions, you are trying to teach them, so keep you eye on the end result, the long run, the end goal...ignore the tantrum, then continue a happy conversation with your child once he/she gains control.