Where Can I buy Spartan Pants?

Question

Spurred on from my watching the movie about the Spartans 300, I decided to dress up as one and went out for a bit of a play in my Garden.

I had the red cape which doubles as a table cloth, I had my sandals, I strung Shire Horse's Brasses on my wrists and shins, I had a spear which I brought back to Blighty from the Dark Heart of Africa, I had an impressive Shield which normally functions as a massive Brass Commemorative Plate from the Living room wall, and. . here's the rub, I couldn't find the right underwear see? My own selection are designed for proper old fellas like me . Marks and Sparkies I call them. So, in order to look the part I was forced to pilfer a pair of Black Lacy Knick Knacks from my Lady Wife's Drawer.

So there I was charging around the Garden impaling Privots and Imaginary Hordes of Xerxes's Persian Army, shouting choice Spartan snippets like "Victory!" and "Let us quench the thirst of our swords with the Blood of our Foes Begad! Har!"

By Jimminy! I must of looked a fearsome man of might, as the Next Door Neighbor were at that time entertaining a host of guests for some puff-bag Barbeque Family Party thing for their kid's Birthday or something. Okay I was hallooing and roaring "ARROOOO!" whilst rolling on the grass to demonstrate my under cutting Maneuvers as they watched sheepishly from behind their Hedge.

Alas, the flimsy knickers I had on hid nothing barely. Pulled up tight I forgot about the dreaded Plums protruding from either side of the Said Garment, as I roared Battle Cries and brandished my Spear about me so, like a Dervish.

The wife, knew the Local Plod though, and after a cup of Horlicks I was allowed to keep my cape.

So, where can I buy the Correct Spartan Underwear? And do they do 'em for those with a 36 waist? Not as young as I used to be see.

Answer 1

I don't think underwear exisrted back then... but if you want the shoes, then check Ebay!

Answer 2

Haha I'd pay to see that.  

Answer 3

Uh...just go into Calvin Klein at the mall and find some ancient-looking underwear?

Answer 4

oh god, hahaha, that is awesome, good job.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Check here:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?i...

You can find it.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Old chap, a gentleman should not exhibit his plums in anything other than the boudoir. For Spartan activities a codpiece is recommended, as it keeps one's equipment well protected. Are true Spartans like true Scotsmen?  If they are your neighbours may be put off their sausages. May I recommend a gentlemen's Spartan sparring club? I am willing to hold the meetings in my ballroom, provided I may watch over the proceedings with a set of binoculars. Toodle pip.